Its MY daughters birthday....

**em29** · 19-10-2010, 11:43 AM

Ok well, its my lo's 5th birthday. I have arranged everyone to be home by 4.30pm because she needs to open some presents, have some tea and enjoy some time with us before bed.
The parents of one lo are supposed to collect by 3,30pm and mum has just rung to say - I wont be collect her at 3.30 because dad has been taken to hospital with stomach pain.
This was at 11.45 am so why she needs to stay at hospital that long and not come and collect her lo is beyond me. She sounded upset on phone so i said to text me when she had a better idea but i am so peed off because i want everyone gone by 4.30pm.
I want to have a special evening and have visions of her rocking up at 7 to collect sooo is it unreasonable of me to tell her to arrange someone else to collect at 4.30 if she cannot? I feel mean because it is an emergency but i was so looking forward to an early finish to celebrate

**minkzebell** · 19-10-2010, 11:56 AM

You're not mean..... just trying to make your OWN childs day special, what is it with some parents that they feel our children don't count?

**atmkids** · 19-10-2010, 12:06 PM

You have every right to celebrate your daughter's birthday with her and for her to have your undivided attention. It doesn't sound as though she even asked if you minded having her child later. I would insist that she's picked up at the time agreed, if not by her then by her emergency contact.

Hope your daughter has a lovely birthday

**FussyElmo** · 19-10-2010, 12:07 PM

Thats a hard one. If mum cant collect because of Dad being in hospital then couldnt you somehow include the mindee in your celebrations.

I suppose it depends on the parents what they are like with you etc. I have good parents and if one was to ring like yours have I would accomodate the lo.

If you feel you cant give mum a quick text and see what progress is being made

**em29** · 19-10-2010, 12:16 PM

thanks everyone!
I think she is maybe just making excuses because he was taken to hospital at half ten this morning - do not really understand why she cannot make any arrangements for five hours later! That is plenty of time to get sorted? As a grown man he can surely be left alone in the hospital while she collects?

Fussyelmo - If it were any other night i would never ask someone else to collect - but she knows it is my daughters birthday and didn't even ask what we were doing or even say happy birthday to her - we were thinking about going out for dinner. Oh well...will await a text. Maybe it will all be sorted by then.

**venus89** · 19-10-2010, 12:32 PM

I imagine she's in a flap and not thinking straight, not thinking that somebody else might be able to collect for her. I'd do my best to contact her to see how he is and gently suggest somebody else could pick up, grandparent or the like. She's probably a bit calmer now.

**em29** · 19-10-2010, 01:13 PM

Well I suppose i should stop moaning because at least she did ring me!!

I will wait and see - she has text to say she still doesnt know what is going on but will do her best to get back asap.
Thanks folks for letting me have a moan!! xxx

**mushpea** · 19-10-2010, 01:19 PM

I would txt her and say that you need the child collected by 4.30pm as you are going out for a meal for you daughters birthday,, theres no reason why she or somone else couldnt be with you by then if you give enough warning, you could also add that if the child isnt collected by 4.30pm then hourly rate will rise to what ever your unsociable hour rate is and that the parent will have to pay for what ever meal you have to buy the minded child.

**curlycathy** · 19-10-2010, 01:40 PM

Whilst I sympathise with the mum that maybe she is in a flap and not thinking straight - she does have plenty of time to organise for someone else to pick up her child. You and your child deserve some family time together, it was pre-arranged and she knows about it.

I would text her and say that you will contact the emergency contacts to come and get her. Say that if you can't get hold of anyone then she must come back for her child. And that you will let her know who is getting her child. I know that it isn't really your responsibility to do this, but just thinking that way you can be sure of finishing at 4.30 and reinforcing to mum that you ARE finishing at 4.30, whilst also taking some of the pressure off her if she's worrying about her husband/partner in the hospital.

Hth and good luck and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to your daughter!!!xxx

**angeldelight** · 19-10-2010, 01:48 PM

Personally I think she is taking advantage of you

It is not the time you work and although no one minds doing someone a favour if it is an emergency she has plenty of time to sort something out

I can understand mom being upset and worried etc but how does she know she is going to be there all day and if she does know then it must have already been arranged so she should have told you in advance

I dont like being mean to anyone but if you had just heard from her because he had been rushed into hospital then that is what I would call an emergency and it would be a different story.

But because she told you earlier this morning I would def text / call her and tell her she will have to collect

Good luck hope your daughter has a lovely birthday

Angel xx

**miffy** · 19-10-2010, 01:54 PM

If you want her to collect by 4.30pm then get in touch with her now and tell her that then at least she knows where she stands and has enough time to do something about it.

Don't wait for another call from her, it may not happen and then you will be landed!

Hope your dd has a lovely day

Miffy xx

**em29** · 19-10-2010, 05:44 PM

Thanks everyone. I texted her and said that I need her collected by 4.30 and she did come. Apparently he has a bug so nothing too drastic! She was going straight back to the hospital though with her daughter. Glad I did it rather than just kept quiet. Mum was fine when she came thankfully.

Had a lovely dinner and lovely evening with my daughter!! xxx

**miffy** · 19-10-2010, 06:56 PM

Glad you got it sorted and mum was OK with you.

Miffy xx

**angeldelight** · 19-10-2010, 06:58 PM

Originally Posted by em29

Thanks everyone. I texted her and said that I need her collected by 4.30 and she did come. Apparently he has a bug so nothing too drastic! She was going straight back to the hospital though with her daughter. Glad I did it rather than just kept quiet. Mum was fine when she came thankfully.

Had a lovely dinner and lovely evening with my daughter!! xxx

Great news

Glad you had a good evening

Angel xx