Need Advice.

[Dare4Distance]

I've searched and I don't think this has been asked before, apologies if it has been.

I'm gay and I've been living with my partner for the past year. Do you think I need to tell parents about my sexuality? Not that I want to hide it or anything but I'm not one of those people that likes to throw it in peoples faces. I just get on with it like everyone does. I didn't even "come out" to my family, I just introduced them to my girlfriend like I would have done a boyfriend, IFYSWIM.

In my introduction pack I will of course mention my partner, and say she is my partner but I don't want to make a big deal about it. Do you think this would be ok?

I'm worried it might put some people off as a friend has already said it might Do you think I'm worrying about nothing? Would someones sexuality put you off using a childminder?

Thanks.

[beccas]

if it says it in your welcome pack i dont think you have to say anything unless questions are asked.. but it doesnt make a difference if you are married or divorced, single or otherwise.. you can still childmind it doesnt affect your work.. if they dont choose you because of it then you dont want to care for their children the dont make nice parents...iyswim

[PixiePetal]

Difficult to answer really as people have such widespread views.

I have not come across any gay CM so can't really offer anything from personal experience.

All I can say is that my SIL is gay, my kids have always got on fine with her and her ex partner - took all in their stride and we explained things as they asked questions when they got old enough. Was a bit more complicated explaining the 2 children (they had 1 each, by donor) as it is hard enough explaining where babies come from in a straight relationship

It really shouldn't matter one jot, just as single parents and being a male CM should not make any difference. I would do as you say, don't hide the fact but no need to stand up and make a big announcement and apologise for you being you either. Just be yourself

[manjay]

There will always be reasons why some parents do not choose a particular childminder. As a parent mine would be not sending my children to one with dogs as I really don't like them. Personal choice! I would do as you say and mention your partner and her name in your info leaflets and that way any parents who do have an objection won't waste your time by coming to visit. It really shouldn't make a difference but unfortunately it may to some parents. but I would hope they would be in the minority

[Pipsqueak]

The same as anyone else- IMO your sexuality does not impact on you being a childminder. So i don't think you need to directly say anything to parents - after all what business really is it of theirs. You are mentioning your partner in your welcome pack - same as I do and perhaps many others.
As everyone else has said - there may be some people who choose not to use you because you are gay - well at the end of the day thats their perogative in their own little world. However - look on the flip side you may well be able to tap into a 'niche' in the market - the gay community. I am sure there are gay parents out there looking for childcare and for their part they are cautious about finding decent childcare.
Its no different to a bloke minding - some parents may potentially be put of or suspicious of why a bloke is minding .

[francinejayne]

It would in no way influence my decision in finding a cm for my child!

One of my best friends is the most fantastic primary school teacher going in my opinion; he is fantastic with the children, he is so enthusiastic, fun, caring, loving, wonderful and energetic, and I wish he taught at the local school my DS will attend when he's older. Oh, did I mention that he's gay?! No! Because it just doesn't matter!

And if your sexuality (or skin colour, or hair colour, or religion, or whatever) does matter to the parents, then as far as I'm concerned they wouldn't be parents that I would want to work in partnership with anyway!

Good luck in finding wonderful parents and children in the future, and hopefully you won't come across any negative behaviour whatsoever!

xx

[mamasheshe]

you don't need to mention it

[Blue Boy]

As a male childminder I am somewhat of an oddity and have turned some heads. When I attended training courses some looked at me as though I was the tutor. Also when doing school pickups you could see some of the mums talking. But now they are fine and the think it is great. The same with parents we have we had come to see us.

You will always get the narrow minded people in this world but dont worry about them Just show how well you will look after their pride and joys. The ones that are bigotted idiots

Just by being a member of this forum you will get loads of support and help I have always found everyone very friendly and helpful. Look forward to seeing lots more threads from you in the future. Take care be yourself and be proud.

[LOOPYLISA]

I have lots of gay friends, it wouldnt bother me in the slightest, i would just put live with patner

[aly]

I wasgoing to say that some people have a problem with a male childminder, some people will have a problem with dogs, some may have aproblem with you being gay, but would you want to work with someone that is bigotted and small minded anyway?

I haven't come across a gay childminder, just the same as a male childminder {apart from this forum} but that doesn;t mean there's not any in my area. It's just not my business what people do unless it impacts the care of children.

Good luck with filling your spaces.

x

[karen m]

would not be a problem if i was looking for a childminder

[sarah707]

I cannot see how it is anyone's business whether I am married or divorced or whether you have a same or different sex partner.

And to be honest if it does bother someone then I would not want to work with them anyway.

You are in the lucky position of being in a happy relationship which is rare enough in this day and age.

Enjoy

[miffy]

I don't think you need to do any more than you've already done, ie say in your brochure that you live with your partner.

If you go out of your way to explain your relationship (and I don't think it's anyone else's business anyway) it might look as though you assume the prospective parent would have an issue with your sexuality.

Don't think I've explained that very well - hope you get what I mean

Miffy xx

[Dare4Distance]

Thanks for your replies, sorry it took me so long to reply I forgot I asked this question

I think you're right, so long as I don't hide the fact then I think it's ok to not specifically mention it. It's not a big deal and if it is to someone then they don't have to send their child here

[jelly15]

I think being a gay CM could bother a few narrow minded people but like others have said you wouldn't want to work with them anyway. Think what to say in your intro pack is enough.

[Monkey26]

Well... it hasn't bothered any of the families i care for!

The odd prospective parent who chose not to use me always gave valid reasons for not choosing me (and it wasn't my sexuality!)

I even had one set of parents saying "thats probably more reassuring than a man living in the house!" HAHA - thats not my opinion by the way, a parent said it to me

Good luck, just be honest but as you say don't make a deal of it, i don't and it has never been one my partner and i lead a very 'normal' life... surrounded by herds of kids, and their toys/resources! xx

[Monkey26]

Funny! I have just realised you are called JoJo too!!! Must be something about the name...!!!!!!!! xx

[sandy64]

as far as i would say your sexuality isnt going to affect your care for the lo so its up to you i dont think its somethink you need to make a big deal of but i would be casual in conversation like i am when i introduce my hubby if people arent happy thats there choice good luck in your c.m

[Daddy Day Care]

What i was gonig to say has already been said but jsut to repeat it, it mgiht put some small minded people off but then are they the sort of parents you really want to work for???

Gareth
xx

[helendee]

It really isn't anyone's business hun, it is totally up to you what you tell parents but your sexuality has nothing at all to do with anyone else, I don't see why you should have to explain yourself to anyone, if they choose not to use your services it is their loss imho.