Wont sit at table

**lynnslittleuns** · 01-07-2011, 07:36 AM

I have a 20 month old mindee who refuses to sit at the table to eat with the oher children.
She used to sit at our old table but since I bought a new one 2 weeks ago she screams hysterically every time i sit her down. It is an ikea child size table so not a size problem I wouldnt have thought.
I mentioned her tantrums to parents and apparently they are having problems at home at the minute.

Help please.
Lynn xx

**sarah707** · 01-07-2011, 08:08 AM

How are parents dealing with it? If they are letting her get down each time she screams then you will struggle.

Just be consistent and calm. Hopefully she will see that there's nothing wrong with the table!

Good luck x

**Helen79** · 01-07-2011, 09:03 AM

Maybe decorate some place mats together to laminate so they all have their own personalised one to use at the table.

**The Juggler** · 01-07-2011, 12:40 PM

Originally Posted by Helen79

Maybe decorate some place mats together to laminate so they all have their own personalised one to use at the table.

I agree, or play a game, get her help lay the table, choose first where she would like to sit etc.

**love381** · 01-07-2011, 02:51 PM

Has something happened to scare her? Another lo fell off a chair? Fallen off a chair at the table at home? Has she bumped into the table and hurt herself? Sometimes talking about the fear and doing it all gradually to bring her back might help.

I have made our own personal table mats and we actually made them on the floor with a lo who didn't have a table at home! It really helped as he could see his own name on his mat and we talked about the bits we'd done on his mat etc. Before he realised it, he was sat at the table!! It was little steps for us from there, just sitting for one bite of a sandwich (it worked better if I put just one small piece of sandwich on the plate, so he ate it and finished and got up) We increased the amount each time and now he'll sit no problem. x

**blue bear** · 01-07-2011, 09:12 PM

Do you have a low highchair iyswim, she may feel more secure in a high chair but at the table with everyone else, it might give her confidence.

**miffy** · 01-07-2011, 09:19 PM

Have you still got the old table? If there's room could you put that alongside the new one until she's comfortable to make the move to the new one with the other children

Miffy xx

**lynnslittleuns** · 04-07-2011, 03:29 PM

Hi All

Thanks for all your words of wisdom.
Unfortunately I havent still got the old table but the new one is virtually the same.
I think I will try with the table mats idea and see what happens from there.
Strange thing is though, she will sit at the table to play, drawing etc but not to eat.

Thanks again.
Lynn xx

**little chickee** · 04-07-2011, 06:19 PM

She sits at the table to play ok. She won't eat at the table so where does she eat?

do you give her lunch and snacks somewhere else? Does she eat them?

What i'm getting at is that if she will happily sit at the table to play but not eat she clearly has no problem with the table so maybe her issue is eating not the table.

Not sure if that very clear!!

I would put her at the table 10mins before lunch to play with something then remove toys and put lunch in front of her - if she gets upset i would suggest that its the food she has an issue with not sitting at the table.

In which case you will need to tackle it differantly.

**lynnslittleuns** · 05-07-2011, 01:26 PM

Mmm hadn't thought of it that way !

She is with me again tomorrow (wednesday) so I will try leaving her at the table when she's been playing and pass her some lunch. She brings all her food with her from home so cant even blame my cooking lol.

Will see how tomorrow goes.
Thanks again.
Lynn xx

**lynnslittleuns** · 07-07-2011, 05:32 AM

Just a quick update on my mindee.

Went to Surestart centre this morning where we have fruit and drinks. Not normally a problem here but she stood up at the table to eat, wouldnt sit down.
Back to mine for lunch and once again she stood up to eat, right next to the table where she would normally sit. I ask her if she would like to sit down and she screamed and left the table.
I managed to coax her back to finish her meal but she remained standing. BAFFLING !!!

Lynn xx

**Ripeberry** · 07-07-2011, 06:48 AM

Maybe she feels uncomfortable eating sitting down? Her tummy is getting squished? Maybe a visit to the GP if she is still doing it.

**Helen79** · 07-07-2011, 07:20 AM

Could be that she's constipated and it hurts to eat sitting down.
Or it could just be a habit or a phase so I'd encourage her to sit down but let her eat standing at the table if she prefers to and hope she'll go back to sitting in her own time.
Have you tried a picnic style meal sitting on the floor? Not as permanent solution to not eating at the table but just to see if she'll sit down to eat in another situation to rule out a pain when sitting.

**lynnslittleuns** · 07-07-2011, 12:49 PM

Lunchtime was horrendous. She has been playing at the table on and off during the morning but when I started putting plates on the table the screaming started. I ask her if she wanted to sit on my lap (hardly practical as its a kiddie sized table but desperate measures) but no she still screamed.
Two little boys had sat down to eat at this point but this didnt pacify her either. By the time i get her calmed down she is literally sobbing that much she is past eating so has nothing.
Mum says they are having a few problems with her at home and she is going to have to be firmer with her. She is an only child (not that that should influence her eating) and they are Polish so a little difficult to talk to her, though I have always managed in the past.
Constipation, I dont think so because she is quite regular.
I'm running out of ideas other than trying her in one of my strap on seats incase she feels unstable for some reason.

Lynn xx

**Goatgirl** · 07-07-2011, 01:19 PM

Hmmm,

I think I'd try letting her stand at the table to eat - but not to move away from the table, just the same rules as if she was sitting.
Then once the situation has calmed down and realises there's no advantage to standing up, she'll probably choose to sit herself after a while?

I'm assuming she's not in pain sitting to eat, obviously, and going on it being an attention/tantrum/ control situation, which just needs calm and firm persistence. Easier said than done, I know

Just in case, I'd observe her to make sure there doesn't seem to be any other (physical) reason for the behaviour and maybe suggest to mum to get her checked out at the doctors just in case, so that you can rule out anything physical.

Good luck

Wendy

**lynnslittleuns** · 19-07-2011, 01:30 PM

I think ive cracked it lol.
Still dont know what the problem was with mindee but over the last few days ive just put her food on the table with the chair a little away and she's started eating standing up and then ive gently put the chair underneath her and she's said nothing.
Fingers crossed thats an end to it. Just hope it was a phase and there is nothing physically wrong with her. I'll just observe her for a while and see.

Thanks for all your help and advise.
Lynn xx

**cupcake22** · 19-07-2011, 02:31 PM

My little ones of that age still sit in a highchair for all food & drink. When they come to me as babies I start the way I mean to go on. However many parents say they wont sit in highchairs at home. Unfortuneatly I do like a well organised meal time & I know if i let them loose it would be a food fight lol.

Cupcake22