Barricading toys

**Fitrix** · 22-02-2016, 11:31 AM

We have a little girl (2.5yrs) who is obsessed with barricading herself in with toys. She either piles them around herself, or her preferred MO is to sit and command the other children to fetch toys and pile them round her. I get that this is a schema but really don't know where to go with it. And it is really annoying to have literally hundreds of different bits - cars, toy food, dolls, Lego bits. Everything all mixed in together and we spend half our time retidying/sorting! This sort of play just doesn't seem very constructive? Any ideas of how to deal?

**Mouse** · 22-02-2016, 11:50 AM

Does she do it because she likes being enclosed, or because she wants all the toys?

I have a little boy now who will surround himself with the toy cars. He sits in the middle with the box of cars and sets them all out in a circle around him. If another child wants any of the cars he's happy for them to take them and he'll just fill the gaps with others, or move some round to fill the gap.

Another child I had previously would surround herself with all the toys, but would want to keep them all. If anyone tried taking anything she'd scream that it was part of her wall and they couldn't have it. She'd have everything surrounding her and would lean over it, covering as much as possible with her arms tp protect it all. With her it was a control thing. She'd want everything round her then would be the one to decide who could have what, if she let them have anything. If another child was playing happily with something else she'd ask them if she could have it as she 'really needed it'.

I think how you deal with it will depend on why your mindee does it.

**Fitrix** · 22-02-2016, 12:02 PM

We actually think she just likes to make a mess. She used to tip boxes of toys out and make a colossal mess but we got her to pick everything up and put back where they came from. It's like this barricading is a way round that. She is "playing" so we can't really tell her off for it but she is effectively making a colossal mess. Enclosing - don't think so. She's not that into dens etc. Control - yes she is a force field over everything!
Still no idea how to handle this though?!

**Mouse** · 22-02-2016, 12:49 PM

Originally Posted by Fitrix

We actually think she just likes to make a mess. She used to tip boxes of toys out and make a colossal mess but we got her to pick everything up and put back where they came from. It's like this barricading is a way round that. She is "playing" so we can't really tell her off for it but she is effectively making a colossal mess. Enclosing - don't think so. She's not that into dens etc. Control - yes she is a force field over everything!
Still no idea how to handle this though?!

In that case I would stop her from doing it, or limit the amount of toys she can have with her. She might be playing, but there still need to be some boundaries in place when children play. It's not a case of telling her off, it's a case of letting her know what's acceptable and what isn't.

There's no reason why she can't do it with a few toys some of the time, but there's also no reason why you can't tell her she's got too many toys out and some need to go away. I'd decide on what you are happy for her to do, explain the 'rules' to her and keep reminding her until she understands.

**Fitrix** · 22-02-2016, 01:07 PM

Originally Posted by Mouse

In that case I would stop her from doing it, or limit the amount of toys she can have with her. She might be playing, but there still need to be some boundaries in place when children play. It's not a case of telling her off, it's a case of letting her know what's acceptable and what isn't.

There's no reason why she can't do it with a few toys some of the time, but there's also no reason why you can't tell her she's got too many toys out and some need to go away. I'd decide on what you are happy for her to do, explain the 'rules' to her and keep reminding her until she understands.

Ok thanks. Good advice. This is kind of what we have been doing. Just feel a bit mean! So any ideas on how to extend/build on this type of 'play'?

**Mouse** · 22-02-2016, 01:23 PM

Originally Posted by Fitrix

Ok thanks. Good advice. This is kind of what we have been doing. Just feel a bit mean! So any ideas on how to extend/build on this type of 'play'?

I know it sometimes feels a bit mean, but I do think it does children good to learn that there are boundaries. When she goes to nursery or school she's not going to be able to do whatever she wants, when she wants, so it will be good for her to learn that now. You don't have to stop her fun completely, just tone it down to a manageable level.

I'd try to think how she can do the same sort of play, but on a smaller scale. One way I limit things like this is to give the child a small mat to play on. Ikea used to do some circular bath mats that were perfect. The children can still play, but everything has to stay on the mat. That way they can play, but their game doesn't spread out all over the floor. You could give her a basket of smaller items to use (a mix of cars, blocks etc, if that's what she likes) and challenge her to build her barricade only with those items and only on her mat. Once she's happy doing that, think of different things to challenge her - can she put all the blue things together, all the cars together etc.