gobby mum in school play ground

[newandlearning]

hi all..

I'm wondering if someone could give me some advice.. there is one mum in the school play ground who I occasionally speak to on occasion .. I used to be in the same 'going out in eve's' group as her but am not these days as my own child doesn't really seem to get on with that set of kids..

anyways .. on Tuesday last week I was sending a text to one of my mindee's mums and walking towards what I thought was my car and this mum was talking to another by a silver car.. engrossed in texting I didn't realise it was her car and not mine ... so I jokingly said 'oh that's not my car at all is it.. where's mine gone?' .. and she said 'corrr.. I dunno wud you leave your kids with her'.. now although it could be in jest I felt that there was also a dig in her comment.. and then...

on Thursday my own lil boy was running around in the school play ground as we awaited my other child to get out of school when he fell and started to cry.. so I went to go get him.. and again she piped up 'I dunno .. shud have know it would be one of your kids!'

and I very nearly gave her a blasting as I just think she's having a dig.. or could it be she's got a very dry manner of being funny.. whichever way I'm getting niggled by her now and feel like she actually trying to indirecting say I'm incompetant or stupid.. of which I'm neither..

has anyone else had snide comments like this? I feel like pulling my kid out of this school as I find it very hard to make friends there and my lil one has only one friend who his teacher won't let him play with as they play to rough...

would you say something to this woman if she said something else again or just ignore her?

[mufftie]

dunno maybe it is a 'dry' sense of humour but either way if your not liking it then its a form of bullying and i would have to say something before it could potentially damage your business .

[Noomie]

Hmmmm.... It could be her having a dig but I suspect that she thinks she's joking and being friendly. It's hard to tell though as I haven't heard her tone or seen her manner. It's not a very funny joke, but perhaps is all the same.

[jo.jo76]

Personally I would steer clear. She either has a really bad sense of humour or she's after causing trouble.

As for your child in school, have you spoken to his teacher? If she doesn't want him to play with the only child he is friends with then maybe she needs to support him in making friends with other children in his class.

Jo x

[curlycathy]

Aw hun - school playgrounds are a real minefield - and thats the parents!!! I think its the law that every playground has to have a mum like you described! And it can be really hard to make friends sometimes cos of all the cliques that there are. I've been on the receiving end of bullying from a parent and it really is deeply unpleasant.

She could have been trying to be funny - but its not funny if it hurts you. I would just ignore her - or talk very loudly to your mindees about how it is very important to be kind to one another because being unkind can be very hurtful you know! Also try and stand as far away from her as possible!!!

Is there anyone else you could talk to in the playground? What about talking to the teacher about who your son might also be friends with - or maybe who he sits with - and then get talking to that childs parent?

Dont really know what else to suggest but thinking of you xxxx

[MaryMary]

I would ignore & avoid. By trying to respond you may end up stooping to her level, and that is not a good example to set the children

I think she is probably trying to be funny, but as someone said, it is hard if we don't hear the tone or see the body language.

Just rise above it - she is obviously not worth it.

Good luck

PS I see you are 'outstanding' so Ofsted obviously think people should leave their kids with you

[Hebs]

PS I see you are 'outstanding' so Ofsted obviously think people should leave their kids with you

yeah get it on a tshirt

[Sara T]

the lady is probably just jealous!

just smile and carry on with what you are doing!! that will really bug her!! hee hee

[mandy moo]

Hmm, we've got one like that, Prehaps I shouldnt write this bit, but thing is its another childminder!!

Again Im not too sure if its 'just her way' IYKWIM,
If it is just her way, Someone to my mind, really out to tell/have a chat with her,
coz it makes her look/sound awful and IMO if any parents/prospective parents heard her, it would seriously make me wonder about sending my Kids to her..

[wendywu]

She may just be joking.

I would say things like that, but only to very close friends who i know really well and they that i am joking. Bit like saying you keep all the mindees in the garden shed until home time. ( dont really )

Just be aware of her but dont panic too much

[Milli147]

Maybe she is just joking, but some people just don't seem to realise how things they say sound and make people feel.

I have a mindee who went through a stage of screaming blue murder throughout the school runs, day in, day out for weeks. A mum up at school told me that it "wasn't exactly a good advert for my business having a child crying all the time". Like it was my fault.

I would be tempted to approach her and just calmly ask that she remembers this is your business/livelihood she is remarking on so publicly.

[merry]

Like Wendywu, it's the kind of thing I would say as a joke, but only to close friends who I know would take it in the spirit intended. I do know what you mean though, about the way she said it, cos my MIL does that too, innocent enough words but with just enough of an edge so I know she means every word. Then if I say anything back or call her on it, she looks all hurt and offended and insists she 'didn't mean anything by it' If she is being awkward, then whatever you say about it she'll take it the wrong way deliberately, maybe best to rise above it, smile and carry on as normal.