Coping with busybodies at school and playgroups

**helendee** · 17-06-2009, 08:41 PM

Do any of you feel that you are under the microscope when you go on the school run or nursery/playgroup pick ups? The mothers at my local school seem to be constantly watching us childminders and I have heard some nasty comments from some of them, they seem to think that they are perfect but are hyper-critical of cms. One childminder I know was reported to Ofsted because she let one of her mindees run around in the playground and she fell over!

TheBTeam · 17-06-2009, 08:55 PM

Yes I definitely feel on show, but even at my worst would be hard pushed to be as bad as some of the parents!

I have also been approached by quite a few people over the years to tell me how lovely I am, how nice to see the way I am with the children etc. One nanny regularly tells me (to the point I am very embarrassed and now sometimes avoid her!), how lucky the children are to have someone like me, how nice it is to hear someone explaining things to the children etc.

I guess i do have a professional side to me, but over the years that just becomes who you are, (I am slightly different when out with just my children and our friends), it is not an act, but over the years it is a sort of professional persona that you have which is like a working side of you that you switch on when you have mindees.

What i am saying is I am myself but a slightly different one to the non working one. It is not a strain to be it, just different!

**Deb** · 17-06-2009, 09:01 PM

I used to but now I dont take any notice - just ignore them. People like to talk and we give them something to talk about. I have one parent who gets regular status updates from her friends when she is at work and I drop/pick the child up from school. I told her that I didnt appreciate being spied on and that I was a professional and would inform her if there was anything she needed to know.

Let it roll of you and soon you wont notice big brother watching you!

**mummyof3** · 17-06-2009, 09:05 PM

At my local school I find it is the other childminders that are constantly watching my every move!!

**sarah707** · 17-06-2009, 09:09 PM

I have lots of children on a Tuesday and am expecting a visit from Ofsted to check my numbers any week now! I know I am ok but I can see some of them counting heads and trying to work it out

I don't let children run off either in case they hurt themselves or I end up turning into a screaming banshee across the playground.

Yes you are on show everywhere you go especially if you work for locals I have found. I try to ignore it, it goes with the territory

**Peppa** · 17-06-2009, 09:11 PM

Originally Posted by mummyof3

At my local school I find it is the other childminders that are constantly watching my every move!!

Same here! Its aweful somedays. Feel as if they are watching my every move and waiting for me to slip up!

**mummyof3** · 17-06-2009, 09:16 PM

I had to leave the park the other day because I thought I was going to explode at them because of the permanent eyes on me. Oh and the head counts yes I get them too maybe they should get the children counting along with them and introduce EYFS into their day instead of watching me all the time!

**Mouse** · 17-06-2009, 09:19 PM

[QUOTE=sarah707;451655]I have lots of children on a Tuesday and am expecting a visit from Ofsted to check my numbers any week now! I know I am ok but I can see some of them counting heads and trying to work it out

QUOTE]

I was like that when I had a varaition for 4 under 5s. I wanted a t-shirt printed saying 'it's OK, I'm allowed this many!' I felt so conscious that people were watching me & counting heads!

I'm quite lucky in that I've never heard anything bad being said about me. I have had people coming up to me & saying how good I am with the children, though more often than not they're actually coming over to moan about another minder

**Twinkles** · 17-06-2009, 09:23 PM

I feel like this all the time - you have to be whiter than white or they will find fault.
Once at toddlers I sat a baby on the floor playing and was two steps away at the painting table with a toddler.
Baby tried to stand and toppled over , before I could turn around someone said ' Oh who does he belong to ?'
To which a helper replied ' Oh he's only a childminders '

as though it was only to be expected that our babies are left to cry

Lady Haha · 18-06-2009, 09:24 AM

Originally Posted by mummyof3

At my local school I find it is the other childminders that are constantly watching my every move!!

yes, I get that too! If I am getting gossiped about by mums, it's gone right over my head!!! I have had mums ask if I'm a childminder when they see so many kids with me, I always say 'yes! They're not all mine!' I must look like a good cm cos I have had a few enquiries in the playground! One is starting tomorrow!

**littletreasures** · 18-06-2009, 09:29 AM

The parents at the preschool and school that I pick up from have only just discovered that I'm the children's childminder and not their Mum!!!!

They were so surprised

**cuffleygirl** · 18-06-2009, 09:29 AM

I hate it when my own children play up in this situation I feel the eyes on me as to how I'm going to deal with it - Like I'm sort of Supernanny! Just ignore it if your care is sort after then you are going to have more kids (within numbers/variation) that tells its own story!

**The Juggler** · 18-06-2009, 10:47 AM

[QUOTE=Mouse;451673][QUOTE=sarah707;451655] I wanted a t-shirt printed saying 'it's OK, I'm allowed this many!' I felt so conscious that people were watching me & counting heads!

what a great idea!

**bibby76** · 18-06-2009, 10:59 AM

This happens all the time, i dont worry about it,

I do get annoyed though after school on a friday, i have a variation for 4 under 5 and once the teacher asked me if i was allowed that many!!!!!!!!

**georgie456** · 18-06-2009, 01:17 PM

Originally Posted by Mouse

I was like that when I had a varaition for 4 under 5s. I wanted a t-shirt printed saying 'it's OK, I'm allowed this many!' I felt so conscious that people were watching me & counting heads!

I'm quite lucky in that I've never heard anything bad being said about me. I have had people coming up to me & saying how good I am with the children, though more often than not they're actually coming over to moan about another minder

I'm the same at the moment! I have 4 under 5's on a Monday and Tuesday. There a couple of cm's there who I only know to say hi to and I can almost see them counting the children.....

**singlewiththree** · 18-06-2009, 03:28 PM

Around here childminders seem to go around in pairs or threes so no-one knows exactly who has how many.

There is a lot of talk at the moment of a woman gossiping and spreading romours of a childminder who has a variation and instead of talking to her about it or contacting ofsted she is just bad mouthing her and even saying things that aren't true like the child ran out in the road.

**Pudding Girl** · 18-06-2009, 03:33 PM

Originally Posted by littletreasures

The parents at the preschool and school that I pick up from have only just discovered that I'm the children's childminder and not their Mum!!!!

They were so surprised

I get this a lot too, people thinking I am Mum and they say but you are so loving and natural with them! as if a CM can't be

**Mollymop** · 18-06-2009, 03:40 PM

I feel like that too! I thought I was the only one who felt that the whole world is watching me in the school playground!
I have only been minding a year and no one used to look at me the way they do now. I am paranoid all the time. I have lots of lovely friends up the school so I try not to let it bother me. I always wonder why the same old, same old, always seem to be talking about me, same groups of parents who never battered an eyelid until i started minding. I have started to stare right back at these people until they feel intimidated enough to look away, but i guess that is not very professional of me, I just can't help it!
Maybe I am just paranoid, because I think I am a great mum and childminder.

**Andrea08** · 18-06-2009, 03:51 PM

yes im sure it happens to a lot of us,,, one lady said ohh arn't you mummsey ??? well ok if you think so lol

but now i find some parents come and ask me advice about their LO's not that i have all the answers but i try and find out for them ,,

but parents that do care full time for their LO's think us cm's get too much money,, dont work as hard as them,, dont love the children,, oh and god knows what more they think ,,, its up to us to just stay profecional and do the job well..

i also try not to do my "Behavioural management " in the playground its one worning then home no play , no running off home "Full stop" "no messing" my mindees can count to one ,,, never get to 2 or 3 lol

**madasahatter** · 18-06-2009, 04:24 PM

Whenever I have a variation I always show a copy of my certificate to the various teachers of the classes that I drop off and pick up from (including preschool). I know in the past one of the teachers challenged a parent who was overheard gossiping about my apparently huge horde of children.
I also make sure I include the fact that I've got a variation in conversation with other minders to counter any potential gossip there too.
I have to admit I've always considered myself to be on show wherever I go. Parents at preschool are often amazed to find out I'm the childminder rather than parent (snap Little Treasures and George). I love it when they are let out from preschool and they run up to me shouting 'Sue, Sue, I've missed you' it's so sweet.