Potty Training Advice

[littletreasures]

I have a mindee who is 2 at the beginning of November.

I don't have her during the school holidays as Mum is a teacher. The day before she was due to come back to me at the beginning of term I sent Mum a text to say is everything ok for tomorrow and is F looking forward to coming back.

She replied that everything is fine and F is starting to use the potty with only a few accidents!!

So, she arrives and I then find out that she only uses the potty if she has nothing on!! When they put a pair of knickers on she wets. Mum has asked me to try and let her have nothing on during the day so she can go on the potty.

My problem is she arrives just as I am leaving to do the school run. We then come back to pick up the dogs and take them for a walk. Put them back in the house then go off to Toddler Group. When we get back from the groups F goes straight to bed. Gets up about 2 and has lunch, we then leave to do the school run about 2.45.

After school we try and take the dogs for a short walk. Mum comes to collect about 4.30.

The added problem is that mindee doesn't talk. So she doesn't tell me when she needs a wee. Mum was telling me she says loads of things at home, but doesn't say a word here. She is very happy and jabbers, but won't say actual words.

I have tried gently to say to Mum wait until half term and then really go for it and get her in knickers, then I will continue here.

I don't mind potty training, but I don't want her wandering around with nothing on.

Am I doing the wrong thing do you think? Should I stop going to groups for a week and stay at home so we can get it done properly?

[AliceK]

I refuse to have LO's here with no knickers on due to health & safety and safeguarding issues. Parents have always been OK with this once I've told them. I have 2 parents at the moment both hinting at their children being ready for potty training (in my opinion they aren't but that's another story)

xxxxx

[breezy]

Explain your routine to mum and how you cant keep the child naked, suggest she does it at half term using knickers and that you'll be happy to carry on after that IF its going sucessfully!

I dont think you're doing the wrong thing and if the training was working you could take her to groups with a potty and changes of clothes, it doesnt sound like shes really ready, shes quite young.

Be honest with mum and see how it goes

[littletreasures]

I have told Mum tonight my routine almost minute by minute.

I feel that if they are potty trained they should be able to tell you when they need to go and they can wear knickers. If they will only go on the potty when they've got nothing on they're not ready.

I think I'll use the health and safety thing to say I can't let her run around with nothing on.

Thanks

[Helen79]

my ds was the same when we started potty training him. As soon as we put pants on him it felt like a nappy and he would think it was ok to wee. Wearing really loose jogging bottoms without pants on helped cos he still had clothes on but they weren't tight enough to confuse with a nappy. Maybe ask mum if she's got any loose clothes that she can wear at your house and see if it helps.

[The Juggler]

my mindee at the moment is potty training and doing well. she can talk and does tell mum but won't tell me However, I keep asking and she will nod yes or no to me so we've had only very few accidents.

I would NOT let a mindee in my house without knickers and not on the school run - too chilly at the moment.

I would tell mum that its fab LO is using potty and doing well at home but that you are not able to let her go without knickers at your house or on school run. If they could work on her wearing knickers at home and still going and she is doing well then you will give it a go at your house until then you cannot

I think if she gets her head round the knickers bit the talking won't be a problem as long as she understands that you are asking her if she needs to go OR she can take herself but if too many accidents tell mum sorry she's not ready yet.

[miffy]

I feel that if they are potty trained they should be able to tell you when they need to go and they can wear knickers. If they will only go on the potty when they've got nothing on they're not ready.

I agree with you and I think mum is placing unrealistic expectations on you and her dd.

I'd say potty training is no different to whether they come when they are slightly under the weather - they have to be able to take part in whatever you're doing and obviously you can't take her out on the school run or to any of the activities or groups you go to with no clothes on!

I'd tell mum you will be happy to support her once dd is wearing pants and able to say/indicate when she needs the potty but until then she will need to wear a nappy or pull-ups.

Miffy xx

[littletreasures]

I definitely wouldn't take mindee out without knickers or nappy on.

I was just wondering if I should stay at home for a week and try and sort it. I have her and 4 month old so he wouldn't really miss out. I would though as I get my sanity from attending these groups!

I am going to tell Mum I will support her after she has tried over half term to get mindee in knickers and I am then prepared to take potty and changes of clothes out with me but am not prepared to have her running round house with nothing on

[The Juggler]

I definitely wouldn't take mindee out without knickers or nappy on.

I was just wondering if I should stay at home for a week and try and sort it. I have her and 4 month old so he wouldn't really miss out. I would though as I get my sanity from attending these groups!

I am going to tell Mum I will support her after she has tried over half term to get mindee in knickers and I am then prepared to take potty and changes of clothes out with me but am not prepared to have her running round house with nothing on

no hon. that is parents job when they are starting out potty training not yours.

[Helen79]

Originally Posted by littletreasures
I definitely wouldn't take mindee out without knickers or nappy on.

I was just wondering if I should stay at home for a week and try and sort it. I have her and 4 month old so he wouldn't really miss out. I would though as I get my sanity from attending these groups!

I am going to tell Mum I will support her after she has tried over half term to get mindee in knickers and I am then prepared to take potty and changes of clothes out with me but am not prepared to have her running round house with nothing on

no hon. that is parents job when they are starting out potty training not yours.

When ds was potty training, nursery fully supported me. He had A LOT of accidents at nursery, and still does nearly a year later, even though he's totally dry at home. If they had said to put a nappy back on and not worked with me then I would have taken him out of nursery and found one that would help. It's hard to potty train but all children learn at different rates and parents will expect childcarers to help with potty training.

If you're happy to stay in some of the time then give it a go. You don't have to stay in all the time, make sure mindee has been to the potty before putting pants on, then you can at least take your dogs out for a walk. If you go to a toddler group just take her to the toilet every 15mins and take lots of spare clothes. Put her in very loose trousers without pants on so she isn't walking round without nothing on when you're at home and she gets used to the feeling of clothes without getting confused with having a nappy on or put loose boys boxer shorts on. I've helped potty trained lots of children who are better when naked and the loose trousers really do work

[JCrakers]

Ideally it sounds like it needs to be left until later...but you cant tell parents, only advise.

I wouldnt have a child with no pants on, weeing all over the floor. I always start with a couple of days of pullups. get them used to the up and down action of them.(some people dont agree with these but I have trained a lot of children by using these...only for the first couple of days, on long trips out and at sleep time)

If the child is ready, it usually takes about a week so If I can see the child is ready I stay close to home and dont go far. If we need to go out I take the potty.
My 2.5yr old mindee has just been trained...took 2 days and shes wee'd once in her pants since sept 1st. We tried in May/June but she wasnt ready so left it for 3 months...She was holding it for too long and not releasing it so we stopped. Ive been lucky enough to have all the children Ive potty trained full time so it was really up to me which is a lot easier

Becky

[littletreasures]

When ds was potty training, nursery fully supported me. He had A LOT of accidents at nursery, and still does nearly a year later, even though he's totally dry at home. If they had said to put a nappy back on and not worked with me then I would have taken him out of nursery and found one that would help. It's hard to potty train but all children learn at different rates and parents will expect childcarers to help with potty training.

If you're happy to stay in some of the time then give it a go. You don't have to stay in all the time, make sure mindee has been to the potty before putting pants on, then you can at least take your dogs out for a walk. If you go to a toddler group just take her to the toilet every 15mins and take lots of spare clothes. Put her in very loose trousers without pants on so she isn't walking round without nothing on when you're at home and she gets used to the feeling of clothes without getting confused with having a nappy on or put loose boys boxer shorts on. I've helped potty trained lots of children who are better when naked and the loose trousers really do work

I have been childminding for 21 years, so seen lots of children through potty training including my own three.

I will support Mum 100% in potty training this mindee, when she is ready! If she only goes on the potty when she is told to and when it's when she is not wearing anything on her bottom, I don't think she is ready. Whenever Mum puts any clothes on her beit knickers or jogging bottoms she wets. When I have other children to look after I don't think it is fair on them to stay in for a week or to let this mindee run round with nothing on.

I am going to suggest Mum does it this weekend when she has 3 days and see how she gets on. If she has success I will continue to do it and have an easier week, but I do expect co-operation on both sides rather than Mum deciding it's time for mindee to be dry whether she's ready or not.