I am a smoker, and have been for a good few years. When I started minding, I stopped during the day and just had a wake up fag and about 3 at night, and still do. My problem is, today at 1.00 I felt the urge to have a chill out fag. I was minding a little one, but she had just dropped off, and I never smoke at all in the day, but I did and mum came early to pick up and caught me...
She laughed about it and that was it, so i mumbled a sorry and got little one ready and when they had gone, burst into tears and text her that I was really sorry, would understand if she terminated, and so on, and she text me back saying i was lovely and she knew i wouldnt do it in front of the little one and she was really nice....But i feel so awful i cant stop crying, i feel like i have let her down and all my children, and myself, but i have tried so many times to stop , and now i really feel i have to, has anyone else been in this situation, because at the moment i could do with advice.
IM SORRY TO DRONE ON, BUT I FEEL SO SO BAD...............