Toilet training - seriously hacked off.

What is this new phase where a child turns 2 and parents decide to potty train them? We have 3 children today who are “toilet training”. Parents basically take them every 20 minutes and by the law of averages they go enough to have fewer accidents. But these children are not properly aware of their body signals, they are incapable of pulling their own clothes up and down (and parents helpfully put them in the tighter clothes possible!). We have requested they come in tracksuit trousers (easy to get up and down plus they soak up accidents) but no they are all in shorts/dresses and we are fed up of our carpet/furnishings taking the brunt of accidents!!! Why do parents think it’s ok to do this? We have 20 years experience of caring for children yet our advice is never sought or even worse, when we are asked they just ignore what we’ve said!! We are housebound yet again today with kids piddling everywhere!! Rant over 😡

At nursery if a child has more than 2 accidents a day they are put back into nappies.

My own children (now aged 39 & 28) were both toilet trained by their 2nd birthday. I tried to find a time where we didn't have to leave the house too much (easter holidays etc). Put them in proper pants and just a top/t-shirt so it was easy to get on potty quickly. Have done the same with mindees over the years but find parents often put them in pull ups at home or when out n about, which certainly hinders toilet training.

I'm afraid if children were having accidents on my furniture & carpets they would soon be back in nappies, its so unfair on you. Do you have toilet training policy?

That’s a good idea. Will write one up. So what does everyone do? 2 accidents and they are put in a pull up? Had the most stressful day with constant accidents. Thank God it’s hot enough for them to be outside!! One mum was disappointed we had not sat her 2 year old on the toilet every 20 minutes. How is that toilet trained??!

It is all in my policy- they start at home, I suggest taking a few days off work or over a bank holiday to concentrate on it, when generally dry they can come back to me in pants but will assess day by day and if not ready it is back to nappies and try again in a few weeks/months. I have a good relationship with my families and they would always speak to me for my advise before even starting potty training!
Your situation sounds awful, stand you ground- set out what you define as potty trained (ie- asking you to go for a wee, and able to hold on until at the potty etc)

IF i know in advance that a child is coming in pants, then i plan a day at home/easy day out. I do then set a timer on my phone for every 20 mins, and each time it goes off, i ask the child if they need to go. If they haven't been in an hour or so, then i encourage them to have a try! If they don't want to, fair enough, but i will be watching for the 'i need a wee wiggle' !

lots of praise/high fives/stickers /whatever it is that works for that particular child! the only thing i don't do, is reward with sweets!

2 accidents of the ' i didn't even notice/care/think about it ' variety, then it is back in pull ups ( maybe over pants to encourage the 'yucky wet' feel ) and still keep reminding them if they need to go!

if the accident is ' i didn't get there in time ' then that is different and we carry on.

the reason i do the 20 mins timer is so that i get a feel of how the child is doing. It is all very well for mum to say they are doing great at home, but if they don't tell me/or just take themselves, then i have no idea how they are doing. like wise, if they are dribbling constantly, then again, it won't be happening at my house! If we are home, then child is restricted to outside, and the kitchen/diner ( which is tiled, and where we do our messy play/craft etc, and i just bring a basket of 'wipe clean' toys through, and all children pretty much play there! ) the rest of the house is old wood floors, or laminate in the playroom with rugs, and i don't want them covered in wee!

sometimes i am taken totally by surprise by a child coming in pants, and then we just have to wing it, and do the best we can, especially if we have a busy day planned!

some children are great at home, but with me there is so much going on, they just get sidetracked, others are fine from the word go, others are camels and hold it all day, and another little soul i had was a right wotsit ... He would be dry all day, including naps for me, but insist on a nappy for mum and refused to use toilet or potty at home! He even borrowed my potty one weekend, but NO! This lasted for 6-8 weeks !!!! then one afternoon he said ' i think i'll use the toilet at home now' and has been dry day and night every since! his poor mum was tearing her hair out! ( as was i! )

we usually have a few reads of ' i want my potty ' the little princess story, and i have just got one called ' i need a wee ' ... which is funny about a bear needing a wee and where to do it, and then winning a dance competition doing the ' i need a wee dance' but in the end he does the wee in the trophy !!! which i don't like, but the children all find yucky, and say he should have used the toilet, so i guess the message is getting there!


my current bug bear is a child who has been toilet trained for some time, started doing poos in her pants ( and not a little bit thinking it was wind ! ) luckily it wasn't just me, but mum and nursery too! they were all 'oh dear, never mind, it doesn't matter' and in the end, after a few weeks ( only comes to me one day a week! ) i said enough, it DOES matter and told the child that it was not nice, and she needed to do it on the potty ( or toilet ) ... reverted to 20 min timers and stickers and cracked it again that day! all been fine for a couple of months or so, child goes on holiday, and whole rigmarole starts up again, ( and mum didn't warn me:angry: when she picked up, she led me to believe it had only happened once the day before ... then accidentally told me it had happened every day! ) GRRRR!

I do the same as the other posts, encourage parents to start the training when I have a week off and they are at home. If the child is ready a week is usually long enough but it does depend on the parents if they can be bothered! I will put them back in nappies if they are not ready as why should I have all the cleaning up to do and give the parents an easy ride lol.