How do you deal with temper tantrums?
I look after a little boy who is 2 and a half. He's always had a temper on him, but his tantrums lately have become dreadful. He doesn't have as many as he used to, but the ones he has are very intense and can last over an hour.
They usually happen when he's tired or hungry, so if I see either happening I try to act quickly. If I miss the trigger though, we all suffer.
It might start by him throwing things, or hitting out and if I tell him to stop, the tantrum starts. I have tried telling him no in a variety of 'gentle' ways, but it makes no difference. In fact it makes no difference whether I say anything or not. He'll still have a tantrum. What happens next is endless screaming with him shouting that he wants something, then doesn't want something. Eg, he'll throw a car on the floor, then scream that he wants it. I'll hand it back, so he screams that he doesn't want it. I take it off him again, so he screams that he wants it etc etc. It can be anything. I'll offer him a drink, so he'll scream that he doesn't want it, but as soon as I move it away he'll scream that he wants it. After a while he'll move onto something else, but it's always the I want it/I don't want it scenario. It's not something I've come across before. He clearly doesn't know what he wants or doesn't want as he'll often be holding what he screaming for, or not holding what he's screaming he doesn't want. He'll scream if I give him any attention, or scream if I ignore him.
He gets himself into such a state that you can't get through to him. I can only start using distraction when i sense he's nearing the end of the tantrum. He'll eventually come for a cuddle, calm right down, then run off and play as if nothing's happened. Like I said, this can go on for more than an hour (the longest so far is 1 hour 20 minutes). It upsets the other children and, while it's happening, it really limits what we can do. Apart from that, it must be really horrible for him to be so out of control.
So, has anyone got any foolproof, miracle cures for tantrums? If not, please just tell me he'll grow out of it!!