Going in a shop alone - what age?

We're trying to give DD (7) a bit more responsibility because a) she is ready but won't put herself 'out there' naturally/sticks by my side b) it will give her confidence and make her a bit more streetwise c) I think I was doing a lot more at her age. This morning she went to post a letter by herself - I waited at the end of the street and she walked to the other end, navigating other pedestrians etc. Not a big deal to some kids but it was to my little soul. You should have seen the look of pride on her face when she was walking back!

I'm trying to think of other age appropriate things for her to do.

What age did you/your children go into a corner shop alone for the first time (to buy something straight forward)?
Can you think of any other social situations where I could encourage responsibility/independence?

Like all children, she loves new chores, but hates old, everyday chores like tidying away her craft stuff. She is pretty much in charge of the washing these days - until the novelty wears off, and there are a couple of recipes that she will cook with minimal support. What other chores do you give your kids? She used to 'be in charge' of polishing the furniture but that novelty has worn off now.

What age did you/your children make a cup of tea/coffee independently?

Blimey, she sounds more capable than my 21 year old son!! He's only just worked out how to use the washing machine and would rather starve than cook something to eat!

My eldest was about 8 when he went to the shop by himself. We've never told him, but his dad followed him all the way there and back, hiding behind parked cars :laughing: We slightly overdid the whole 'stranger danger' thing because he'd panic if he was out and anyone was so much as walking on the same side of the road as him.

To me, 7 still seems young, so the fact that she does as much as she does is very impressive. Do you feel happy letting her go into shops by herself? I think I would start off by going into shops with her, but standing back and letting her get on with it. Once you can see she's more than capable, you can start letting her go in by herself.

12. My shops are about a 20 minute walk each way. Sorry, bit protective here. They didn't get mobile phones until their 12th birthdays. They've all posted letters, from about 7/8 years old and that 'round' trip takes about 3 minutes. I started letting mine walk ahead when dropping at beavers/cubs etc and would watch them enter the building from a distance. Then walk to a friends house within 5 minutes. Then aged about 10/11 walk to the small play park with a friend knowing I was following 10 minutes later with the cminding kids.

Maybe next time at the supermarket could she go to the next aisle and choose the cereal etc?

But my teenagers are going backwards now with 'jobs' and seem to forgotten how to even lift their pants off their bedroom floors!.

My oldest used to love being totally on his own in the library. He would tell me to go to the adults section when he was in the children's...and check his books out on his own. In reality I chose at super fast speed, or not at all...then followed him up the stairs and lingered on the far end of the children's section .....but he thought he was on his own.

My youngest started drum lessons at 7. Initially I stayed and watched then after a few lessons I went to the toilet / had to take a phone call etc.... Then I stayed in the car and marked whilst he took himself in on his own.

One of the still talked about 'jobs' the lads did at their childminders was to go and get the paper for my child minders husband when they got home from school. The paper shop was at the top of the road, an estate so quiet....they loved doing this very important task for him....we wouldn't dream of letting our charges do that now! They always went in two's though with one of the two older children. Another job they loved too was to roll his cigarettes! Another no no now...but neither lads have ever smoked so they didn't come to any harm, they loved the machine that rolled them! Those were the days when childminders didn't have to be such good role models.......I can imagine we would be struck off now for allowing that, but it really didn't bother me at the time. I am told they generally gave him a lecture of how bad cigarettes were for you whilst they rolled. Nobody in our house smoked so it was a novelty.

At 9 mine were allowed to play on the next door football field by themselves...but prior to that I always thought they were too small to cope with the big lads that might wander past. Once they had experienced playing in football teams and joining cricket and rugby clubs with older children ...then I felt they could cope. But every child is different in their maturity and coping in emergency situations.

Going to a friends house around the corner was one of the first things they did on their own...I would ring the friends parent to say he was on his way....she would ring me when he got there and when was coming home...so we would know if they hadn't got there in the allotted time...once a frantic friends mum appeared because I had forgotton to phone her on his arrival as the ice cream van arrived as he did...and, another bad point, we had all queued to buy an ice cream....She was relieved but it made us talk about the flaw in our arrangement, i.e....it was only relaxing for the parent because the phone call always came....she had gone through that awful feeling of letting your mind think of all the worst scenarios that could happen!
We did carry on though, as we couldn't keep them wrapped in cotton wool and we had taught them how to yell very loudly if someone tried to make them do something they didn't want to do.

It is difficult times to live in and encourage our children to have independence, good luck with it Maza.

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Originally Posted by FloraDora

Another job they loved too was to roll his cigarettes! Another no no now...but neither lads have ever smoked so they didn't come to any harm, they loved the machine that rolled them! Those were the days when childminders didn't have to be such good role models.......I can imagine we would be struck off now for allowing that, but it really didn't bother me at the time. I am told they generally gave him a lecture of how bad cigarettes were for you whilst they rolled. Nobody in our house smoked so it was a novelty.

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That was always a treat for us - being allowed to roll our uncle's cigarettes or filling up our grandparent's cigarette dispensers! How times change!

My DD is 8 and she would probably love to go to the shop on her own but I wouldn't let her. I do however let her pay for her own stuff in shops and she is more than capable of doing that. I've encouraged her to do that because my DS used to be terrible and was far too shy to do that, he's now 11 and it's only really in the last 12 / 18mths that he is more confident to do that. I think I let him go to the local shop for me when he was 10. They will both go off together in the supermarket to fetch things for me and then come and find me again.
In the house my children have a jobs rota. My 8yr old has to do things like empty the bins, empty the dishwasher, sort the clean washing into piles. She used to have dusting as a job but somehow she kept breaking my cans of polish so now I've stopped her doing that.

xx

My grandaughter is now 9 and is happy to go to the corner shop by herself or pay for things while we are both shopping, but a year ago when her mum and dad married and I had a 'sleep over' we needed milk the next morning, I wasn't dressed and asked if she would go for me (I thought she would feel grown up as she had just started doing it) she was up for it but at the last minute backed out saying she was too scared! So I think about 9 or 10 is a good age but it does all depend on the child.

I think I was about 5 or 6yo when I first went in a shop alone. Bear in mind this was in a different age when children weren't led to believe that every adult was an abductor.

My grandma used to send me to the "offy" for Mackesons Stout by the time I was 11. At comprehensive school, our art teacher used to send us out to the shop opposite the school gates for cigarettes during classes. :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by bunyip

I think I was about 5 or 6yo when I first went in a shop alone. Bear in mind this was in a different age when children weren't led to believe that every adult was an abductor.

My grandma used to send me to the "offy" for Mackesons Stout by the time I was 11. At comprehensive school, our art teacher used to send us out to the shop opposite the school gates for cigarettes during classes. :rolleyes:

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And look at you now - no harm done!

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Originally Posted by BallyH

And look at you now - no harm done!

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:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:


That's not what my analyst says. :jump for joy:

Anyway, that was life-history. It wasn't an EY activity suggestion. ;)

A really interesting thread, thank you all. I honestly thought I was going to get shot down for not having let her do more. It seems I can relax. The cigarette stories are so funny. I love the idea of sending her to the next aisle in the supermarket to get something specific. x

I remember when we were in the 4th year juniors (year 6) my best friend and I were chosen to walk a younger boy home from school because he was ill. It was before everyone had a telephone at home and they couldn't get hold of his mum but new she would be at home. We loved it of course - he didn't want to talk to girls and so he walked a few feet in front of us all the way, including crossing several roads. I can't believe they couldn't find a member of staff to do it! Not only were we out of school without our parents consent, but we were in charge of an 'ill' child! Oh how times have changed.

My 2 older children (now 30 & 27) used to go to school on the school bus on their own right from reception - the bus obviously wouldn't let any children off on the way to school but I did have several dramas with them getting off the bus - once when I was picking up a mindee from the bus stop, he wasn't on it - when I asked other children getting off where he was, they said he went to visit his grandad - he had recognised that he was going along a road on the estate where his grandad lived and hopped off at the next bus stop and walked himself there, this was before mobile phones so I had to run home and phone his mum. (he was about 5 years old)

Another time, I lost 5 children - they used to get off the bus stop near the sports centre as I took them all for swimming lessons, their school used to finish at 3.30 and it was quicker for me to meet them there than walk back down through the estate - after the school holidays the school day was shortened to 3 pm and swimming wasn't due to start until the following week, however the 5 children (3 aged about 8, 2 about 5) decided "it's Wednesday, we need to get off at the sports centre" - when they weren't on the bus, I left the baby in the pram with a friend picking up her kids while I legged it down the estate (1/4 mile) to find that a very kind parent had waited with them at the bus stop.

In our town we have middle schools, which means children change school at aged 9, most children walk on their own with their friends.

My friend lives in Scotland, her boys get the local bus to and from school from their village on their own, and have been since they were 6 & 9 yrs old.

My children have been walking or cycling to local shops since they were about 8. DD has been taking herself to and or from school/dance classes since she was 9. DS would rather we still took him! And he is 14! (Although at 10yrs he and his friends were roaming the countryside all summer ... They then discovered Minecraft and the real world lost out!)

DS was making toast/cups of tea etc from about age 7, but when he was 9 we moved to a house with an aga, and it's only been the last year or so that he has been tall enough to lift the lid fully on the hot plate to boil the kettle or make toast! He's been cooking a bit the past year ... I'm determined he is going to be able to look after himself!
DD loves to cook, but needs help lifting lids on aga or manhandling dishes in and out as it can be very hot. She's self sufficient in sandwich making etc!

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Originally Posted by Maza

I remember when we were in the 4th year juniors (year 6) my best friend and I were chosen to walk a younger boy home from school because he was ill. It was before everyone had a telephone at home and they couldn't get hold of his mum but new she would be at home. We loved it of course - he didn't want to talk to girls and so he walked a few feet in front of us all the way, including crossing several roads. I can't believe they couldn't find a member of staff to do it! Not only were we out of school without our parents consent, but we were in charge of an 'ill' child! Oh how times have changed.

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I would have been in the same year, 4th year in juniors, when a boy and I were sent to the teacher's house because she'd forgotten to feed her cat! It was a 15 minute walk there, we had to feed the cat, wait for it to finish then put it out. She even said we could water the plants while we were waiting for it to eat!