Almost three, Weak hands, in-toeing and walks like a drunk

Hi All,

I am after some advice from those with more experience than myself. I have a mindee who will be 3 in April. She joined me back in early October. I am due to get a copy of her three year review from her old childminder next week.
The concerns I have about her at the moment are all physical. parents tell me she learned to walk within the normal age bracket. But when she joined me I picked up on her strange walking style straight away. She was very unsure on her feet, fell all the time, bumped into things a lot, and was generally very unbalanced.
I have been working on physical things as much as possible, (she can be very reluctant!), I encourage dancing, soft play, jumping games and the like. She has improved slightly, however she seems unable to jump both feet off the ground, when she walks her toes point in, and she often trips herself up. When she takes off her socks her feet often look a little curled up! (she has never had her feet measured or new shoes since I have had her!!! they are too small!). When she walks, its like a tot who has only been walking a few months!, she is very wobbly/unbalanced, seems to have a little control over speed, but not great. She gets in the door over the step by holding on, but its very uncontrolled. My husband and I think she looks like a drunk!
I have also noticed over the last month since she potty trained that she has very week hands, she finds it hard to turn on/off taps. Her hands just have no grip, they seem very weak. She seems Ok when we do things like playdoh/sand she uses her hands well, but the tap turning thing concerns me.
My little boy is 7 months younger and 6 weeks premature, and his physical ability is better than hers, he jumps, turns taps, walks and runs normally. I am going to tap a little review on the end of her 2 year review when I get it, and bring these things to the parents attention. But how concerned should I be, I am sure this isn't normal?

Thanks for reading and any advice you may have.

Emma.

Are you saying that the child's shoes are too small for them? If it were me, I would be doing a detailed assessment against the EYOs, and then use the parent's guide to EYFS, I think it is called 'What to expect when' and highlight where the LO 'is at risk of delay' - that's the way I was taught to speak about when a child is below their expected development bracket. Then ask parents in for a meeting, go through the things you have highlighted where LO is not meeting milestones and ask parents to have a chat with HV or allow you to do so for them (with written permission). I would also insist that parents buy new shoes that fit properly. Until they did, LO would not be wearing shoes in my house. Don't forget to record all of this, because it may be a sign of neglect (obviously you are in a far better position to judge that than me).

Is it the 2 year check you are waiting for a copy of, or a transition report of some sort. From early October until the end of February is neatly 5 months. Are you getting it from the parent or direct from the childminder. If the parent keeps forgetting to give it to you, I would think that maybe there was a problem highlighted on it, and mum does not want you to see it.

I personally would of already spoke to the parents ill fitting shoes that seem they are causing her toes to curl up is neglect. Bless her, I would speak to the parents about that without any piece of paper but that's just me x

Stand the child on a piece of paper wearing socks and draw around her feet, cut them out and place in her shoes, there should be a gap all around the shoe if they fit, if too small they will crease, you can use this template to physically show parents how small the shoes are.

Does she turn her feet in all the time, when bare foot and just stood? If it's all the time a chat with the doctor or hv would be my advise, if it's just when she runs or when is tired then it may correct itself.

It may just be she has never had the opportunity to turn taps before if other physical skills seem fine, get some empty bottle in different sizes for lo to post things in and twist the lids on and off and see if things improve.

If ofsted come knocking and you don't have a two year progress check in your file they can mark you down, write one now, I wouldn't keep hanging on for the other one to be passed on, get parents in on it so there is no shock when you highlight your concerns.why did lo move to you,it's not unusual for children to be moved when a concern is first highlighted and the non production of the two year progress check could be part of that.

:-) I had a mindee whose walking I was concerned about ...

I got a length of wallpaper and we did foot printing walking down the paper ... it showed that there was a definate turning in of one foot and the other crossing over it.

Turned out child has been born with suspected talipes and had had lots of physio and parents still did it every evening. Child was 2 1/2 and had been with me 4 days a week since 12 mths! When I asked why they hadn't told me ... I was told it wasn't any concern of mine!

I had another mindee with similar walking, did the same and mum was so pleased I did as she thought something was odd ... mum took paper to drs who referred and child has a slightly wobbly hip (or something like that) and has physio to strengthen.

I wouldn't worry about not being able to turn taps ... lots of mine can't when they arrive here! I would be giving twisting activities like someone else suggested. (Sorry .. on phone and can't re read posts to see who suggested it! )

I would also do a quick 2yr check for your file. I would put on it that you are awaiting copy of 2 yr check done by previous setting.

My own son has feet that turn in a bit, dr said it is more common if a parent does it and my husband does so I didn't worry.

Also with tap thing they may have lift up taps at home, you know the mixer taps where you lift to switch on and push down for off? So never really get chance to use mixer ones? Or parents may do it all for them?

I have a similar one at 3.5 that trips over her own feet and has what I feel to be poor strength in hands and core but I've had her over a year and a half and she's always improving, just seems v weak compared to my boy who blasts about the place like a bulldozer! Also her parents do a lot for her, things are improving like putting on coat and trying to do shoes etc, fiddly things that I feel she should be able to do but only have her 2 half days a week and even if I encourage parents to let her do it, in reality they just do it for her if quicker...!

Note it all down and chat to parents, and keep an eye over time maybe

I record lots of info in my daily diary, so in your position by now I would have written lots of obs in the diary that highlight your issues. In my half term review with parents we would review together the evidence that I have gathered so a great opportunity for you to discuss and perhaps put the grip issue as next steps. If after lots of planning on your behalf around her next steps she still hasn't made progress then you and parent have evidence that there could be an issue. Same with running.
Every child is different, so don't compare to your own son. I have a LO who is a petite little girl with really delicate hands she has practised lots of things that involve grip in her play, bottle tops, screws and bolts, pulling things apart , undressing the dolls and sylvanian families and at the table taking fromage lids off, cutting her food etc... She is improving but is naturally not strong...but not below her developmental expectations either really.

As ***** I had to wear the old fashioned built up shoes forever as my feet turned in, but so did my leg bone, my feet no longer turn in, but my bone still looks like I am bow legged. I ran for my school athletic team!

Thank you all so much for your detailed response. I have received some fantastic advice. I need to get a 2 year review done of my own. The one the other minder did is waiting for me to collect, but in light of all your advice I will do my own anyway.

I love the idea of the paper and paint to walk on, plan to do that this week.

The child comes from a well off family and is very much loved, and I have zero concern about her welfare. I think they just overlook these things, which in regards to the ill fitting shoes is a form of neglect by default, am going to chat about this ASAP.

They relocated area so that's why she came to me. I never received any transition notes or documentation, so I am very interested to see if any of this was highlighted on the 2 year review.

Its so awkward to bring this stuff up with parents, I think I will discuss all the positives first of which there are many, then discuss this as my concern at the end.

Thanks everybody, I never knew that childminding could be so hard!!!!!

Emma

didn't mean it in a harsh way but obviously ill fitting shoes is neglect and certainly if it is causing her to walk abnormally. Although as u sound sure of they will not be doing it on purpose just haven't thought of it probably and lo feet grow so quickly don't they. You sound like you are on to cracking it and I know how you feel I HATE and dread bringing up awkward things with parents and carers but unfortunately it is all part and parcel ey xx

With regard to mentioning that the child may need new shoes, I personally have lost count of the number of times, over the years, that I have had to hint that a child may need new shoes. Family life is very busy for working parents and there is always a 'I'll do it at the weekend' list.

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Originally Posted by Jessymax

didn't mean it in a harsh way but obviously ill fitting shoes is neglect and certainly if it is causing her to walk abnormally. Although as u sound sure of they will not be doing it on purpose just haven't thought of it probably and lo feet grow so quickly don't they. You sound like you are on to cracking it and I know how you feel I HATE and dread bringing up awkward things with parents and carers but unfortunately it is all part and parcel ey xx

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I have a child whose parents bought a shoe measurer from e-bay and they measure her feet and then just get the next size up of shoes from Asda - which to my mind are only really fashion party shoes and not designed for walking any distance in, also they don't come in width fittings - yes I know shoes are expensive but really makes me cross when parents don't have the same priorities for their child's well being. :angry:

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Originally Posted by Jessymax

didn't mean it in a harsh way but obviously ill fitting shoes is neglect and certainly if it is causing her to walk abnormally. Although as u sound sure of they will not be doing it on purpose just haven't thought of it probably and lo feet grow so quickly don't they. You sound like you are on to cracking it and I know how you feel I HATE and dread bringing up awkward things with parents and carers but unfortunately it is all part and parcel ey xx

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Don't worry Jessymax didn't think you were being harsh, I agree as does my husband that in a sense it is neglect, just not in the form of neglect that we automatically think about. It will no doubt be awkard, however the fact I have not received payment that's due today, or a reply to my text this morning asking whats happened to it, makes it all a little easier. t seems to be one thing after another with this family at the moment, not sure why I bother, especially as I am turning away 2-3 people a week! Rant over!

I am due to get my 3 measured at shoe shop tomorrow, I think I will offer to get hers done too, rather than them buy them off the peg without the child present:angry:

oh god wish I was that in demand im desperate to fill my vacancies or I will have to pack it in because not making enough ! That sounds a great idea to gets hers measured tomorrow even though you shouldn't have to atleast then you have done your utmost for her xx

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Originally Posted by emmas

Don't worry Jessymax didn't think you were being harsh, I agree as does my husband that in a sense it is neglect, just not in the form of neglect that we automatically think about. It will no doubt be awkard, however the fact I have not received payment that's due today, or a reply to my text this morning asking whats happened to it, makes it all a little easier. t seems to be one thing after another with this family at the moment, not sure why I bother, especially as I am turning away 2-3 people a week! Rant over!

I am due to get my 3 measured at shoe shop tomorrow, I think I will offer to get hers done too, rather than them buy them off the peg without the child present:angry:

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hope payment turns up and parents are receptive to your comments.

I have, in the past, when my children were younger, 'had' to get their feet measured, and then had minded childrens feet measured too! whilst taking photos etc as part of 'understanding the world'. good luck x

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Originally Posted by loocyloo

hope payment turns up and parents are receptive to your comments.

I have, in the past, when my children were younger, 'had' to get their feet measured, and then had minded childrens feet measured too! whilst taking photos etc as part of 'understanding the world'. good luck x

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Fantastic idea loocyloo, that had not occurred to me, that is exactly what I shall do. Makes it feel less like I am prying into the parents responsibilities when is classed as educational.

We shall see what happens about money, its been on a 4 weekly standing order for about 3 months now, so I cannot understand why its gone wrong, my bank say no payments pending, so it looks like they have cancelled it their end! could be something to do with them wanting to use childcare vouchers but we shall see!