DS Really Spooked

I am hoping I can ask for some advice about my son.

Since Christmas time my DS (6) has become very unsettled at night. He was always prone to nightmares here and there as a lot of children are but we were never concerned before.

We have now got to the point where he is reluctant to go off to sleep without somebody with him or he wakes in the night and sneaks into bed either with us or his sister. He doesn't make a fuss and often we don't notice he is with us until we wake up.

My friend gave him a game for Christmas that really spooked him (Og on the Bog, if you know it), so this has now been banished, but now he is easily spooked by so many things, we are getting worried.

It is upsetting me seeing him like this, and he was never easily frightened before. I'd like to get him back to being happy going to bed, reduce the nightmares and his fear of having them and be less easily spooked.

Any ideas would be gratefully received.

Poor little thing. That must be horrible for him.

Have you tried asking him what he thinks might help? Maybe a nightlight or a light up teddy. Or ask him if he can think what's making him unsettled at bedtime? It might be something completely random and unrelated, but something that prays on his mind at night.

What about downloading a children's relaxation CD for him to listen to when he gets into bed? It might help distract him and relax him at the same time. We've had some for our children before and they can be very effective. Maybe stay in the room with him for the first couple of times he listens to it, then try to encourage him to listen by himself.
Or a story CD. Just make sure it's a story you know that won't have anything in it to upset him.

Something similiar happened to my middle son. Plus it may also be your son's age and development in realising that everything in life isn't nice and perfect etc. Besides talking to my son to reasure him we bought him two things. One was a dream catcher for his bedroom window and it is still on his window and he is nearly 18. The other was a tiny little bag of 'worry dolls'. Lots of little tiny stick dolls that you talk to about your thoughts and concerns and put it under your pillow. Both were crutches for him. Besides talking and reassuring your son that everything is going to be ok I wonder if either would help him? It is hard seeing our children so upset. I hope this sorts itself out quickly for you all.

I am a great believer that whatever our children need in order for them to feel safe and happy at night is fine. My DD is 8 and she still goes through stages when she needs company because something has upset her or (like Sun night she had a bad dream), this can be just for a few nights or sometimes weeks whereby she will sleep in with me. She always decides to go back to her bed when she is ready. I know it's easier for me as I am a single parent so having her sharing a bed is not a problem, it may not be so easy in your case. I remember how scary night times can be when you are a child and I remember sneaking into my parents room and sleeping on the floor by my mums side of the bed because I was scared of something.
Sorry this is probably no help to you at all.

xx

Two of my children went through this. We also used worry dolls and dream catcher. Found them to be very effective.

I remember going through it when I was about the same age. Like someone said, it was when I realised that life wasn't perfect - all cupcake and snuggles type of thing. I remember it was when I learnt about the circle of life. A night light really helped me. Many years later when my dad passed away I started needing to sleep with the radio on. I dropped it gradually when I was ready. Like AliceK said, whatever gets them through the night. You could maybe have a word with his teacher too, he/she may be able to give him some extra tlc for a while. x

Thanks all.

I was similar as a child but my parents were never very sympathetic and I don't want to be like that with DS.

I am sure it's just a phase (albeit a long one). I think he will like the worry dolls and last night we got the pull out bed out in DD's room so if he wanted company he could go in there without waking anybody up. I did say if he was feeling scared or upset to come and get me. Suffice to say we found him in with DD on the pull out but he obviously got the comfort he needed just by having somebody close by.

A lot of children can go through this. Through experience of dealing with it seems that some children can draw a line inbetween whats real and whats not and others cant. My dd who is nearly 14 still goes to bed with the bathroom light on and has to remove all her jumpers off her hook and have her wardrobe door closed. My son on the other hand never had any problems with the dark.

Truthfully, when dh goes away on business i feel a bit uneasy sleeping in the dark and it takes me longer to get to sleep because im not as relaxed. I look after a 12yr old who had a terrible time at night for quite a few years. He doenst seem to be able to seperate real from pretend. Dad took him to the cinema when he was 10 to watch a film that wasnt scary but something shook him up and he was sobbing in the cinema, next to his 8yr old brother who was obviously laughing his socks off (As brothers do) They had to leave the cinema as he was terrified, his brother was fine.

How about a little light or moh had a couple of good ideas. Also ask him what is worrying him .....(it even could be the santa thing) Who wants a strange man creeping into their bedroom when their asleep, thats quite un-nerving.
I would continue to handle it sensitively as its not a nice feeling is it, to feel scared in your own bedroom

Make sure bedtime stories arent triggering something, make sure they dont have any trolls etc. Also, when he has managed to get to sleep, make sure hes not overheating at night. I dont know if its a proven thing but Ialways find that if ive had a nightmare its always been because ive got too hot. A thinner quilt ?