contagious screaming and crying......

I have a new 18mo start today full time - she cries about 10 minutes after her mum leaves and works herself up until she cannot stop. she stands by the stairgate in the hallway holding her arms up as if wanting to be picked up and cries. we have tried to pick her up and offer compfort but she pushes us away and wants to be put down. Obviously comfort from someone you've only seen twice before is not what she wants. so I know it will take her time to adjust and get used to us and our setting. she's had just over 2 hours nap over lunchtime, and is now sitting at the table, where she seems to be content, so just giving her resources to play with there for now.

Only problem is I have an 18mo of my own and everytime she tries to play with her she starts crying or pushes her away and then she just keeps crying, then my own lo starts crying and wants me to pick her up all the time -whereas she is normally very independent and plays.

we have a 10mo tomorrow, who will also have a little cry session after her mum leaves, and who is sparked off by others crying -so am thinking tomorow will be interesting with 3 of them crying.

any tips- have had screamers in the past and have dealt with them and still have them years later, but haven't had one for a while.

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Originally Posted by TinyTinker

I have a new 18mo start today full time - she cries about 10 minutes after her mum leaves and works herself up until she cannot stop. she stands by the stairgate in the hallway holding her arms up as if wanting to be picked up and cries. we have tried to pick her up and offer compfort but she pushes us away and wants to be put down. Obviously comfort from someone you've only seen twice before is not what she wants. so I know it will take her time to adjust and get used to us and our setting. she's had just over 2 hours nap over lunchtime, and is now sitting at the table, where she seems to be content, so just giving her resources to play with there for now. Only problem is I have an 18mo of my own and everytime she tries to play with her she starts crying or pushes her away and then she just keeps crying, then my own lo starts crying and wants me to pick her up all the time -whereas she is normally very independent and plays. we have a 10mo tomorrow, who will also have a little cry session after her mum leaves, and who is sparked off by others crying -so am thinking tomorow will be interesting with 3 of them crying. any tips- have had screamers in the past and have dealt with them and still have them years later, but haven't had one for a while.

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We need a support group for those of us dealing with one or more cryers!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TinyTinker

I have a new 18mo start today full time - she cries about 10 minutes after her mum leaves and works herself up until she cannot stop. she stands by the stairgate in the hallway holding her arms up as if wanting to be picked up and cries. we have tried to pick her up and offer compfort but she pushes us away and wants to be put down. Obviously comfort from someone you've only seen twice before is not what she wants. so I know it will take her time to adjust and get used to us and our setting. she's had just over 2 hours nap over lunchtime, and is now sitting at the table, where she seems to be content, so just giving her resources to play with there for now. Only problem is I have an 18mo of my own and everytime she tries to play with her she starts crying or pushes her away and then she just keeps crying, then my own lo starts crying and wants me to pick her up all the time -whereas she is normally very independent and plays. we have a 10mo tomorrow, who will also have a little cry session after her mum leaves, and who is sparked off by others crying -so am thinking tomorow will be interesting with 3 of them crying. any tips- have had screamers in the past and have dealt with them and still have them years later, but haven't had one for a while.

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Dyou work with an assistant? Dyou have to take them both out on school runs at all?

I've looked after a child that took ages to settle before, and refused attention or comfort. I found the best solution was to play next to them with another child, read to the other child/children. (Yes, trying to shout over the screams :S) Eventually the child I cared for got bored of crying and felt that they were missing out, so stopped crying and soon started to join in. Of course this doesn't work if you have meals, nappies, or school runs, but it's the only way that I've had work with a very very extreme screamer. O_o

Has the child shown any particular toy preference that they can be distracted with? To play alone with at first?

We have a cosy space - we pop them where they can see us all playing and watch until they are ready to join in.

They have a blanket, cushion, books and a few favourite toys in a basket. They tend to respond to it really well :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TinyTinker

I have a new 18mo start today full time - she cries about 10 minutes after her mum leaves and works herself up until she cannot stop. she stands by the stairgate in the hallway holding her arms up as if wanting to be picked up and cries. we have tried to pick her up and offer compfort but she pushes us away and wants to be put down. Obviously comfort from someone you've only seen twice before is not what she wants. so I know it will take her time to adjust and get used to us and our setting. she's had just over 2 hours nap over lunchtime, and is now sitting at the table, where she seems to be content, so just giving her resources to play with there for now. Only problem is I have an 18mo of my own and everytime she tries to play with her she starts crying or pushes her away and then she just keeps crying, then my own lo starts crying and wants me to pick her up all the time -whereas she is normally very independent and plays. we have a 10mo tomorrow, who will also have a little cry session after her mum leaves, and who is sparked off by others crying -so am thinking tomorow will be interesting with 3 of them crying. any tips- have had screamers in the past and have dealt with them and still have them years later, but haven't had one for a while.

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Good luck with the babies today, hope it goes ok :-) x

I've been there a few times now and i must say each one gets easier as you know what to expect. I had one go on for 3 months but he is so lovely now and has settled well. You need to try and encourage a bond between you so they feel safe and secure, I have a little one at the moment who cries he is on his 2nd week and is doing better every day but he liked to sit in his car seat at first because it was familiar to him, I asked Mum to sleep with a cardigan and I used that to wrap him in it, he likes eye contact and me talking to him, he likes me singing. I still can't put him down but he isn't crying when being held and will smile at me and sit on my knee. The first time I picked him up he tried to get away.

Talk to parent and find out about the child's interests, I have one that is always distracted by food, another who loves cars and it takes their mind off parent not being there. Maybe bring some comfort items from home? Toys they like playing with.

If all else fails just go out, a change of scenery always does the trick, I've even walked around the supermarket as there is so much to look and talk about (and you can even do it in the rain!).

Stick with it and make the most of the time they sleep to have a brew, go to the loo and relax, make lunch, anything that is more difficult when they are awake! It will get easier and you will feel better in a few weeks. Good luck!