giving notice for the 1st time! how should I do it??

Sorry guys, long winded post coming up!
Things have become a little strained between myself and the mother of my full timer :(
3 weeks ago I informed her I would need 2 days off on the 10th n 11th of oct to move house (this caused enough problems in itself)
2 weeks before that I had a day off due to ending up in hospital because of a suspected ectopic pregnancy (so far carrying healthy at 14wks pregnant :) completely out of the blue tho) and last week I had to say I would be taking a day this week due to my 12yr old having an operation t remove 2 supportive nails from his leg due to breaking it (very badly may I say) last year! I only recieved the letter with a wks notice myself!
Now, due to complications my son became VERY ill after the op so had to give extremely short notice of an extra day off, this was totally unforeseen :( he is now bed bound at home til Monday
I completely understand that it is inconvenient to give short notice about anything but it was completely unavoidable and not something I hoped for but now she wants a meeting as she doesnt believe I can care for her child properly in these circumstances and is picking fault with any decisions I make that doesn't agree with her n also changing her mind about things we have agreed on for the last 5 months!
All of my other parents have been 100% supportive of my son and myself and im really upset that this has happened but I can see giving notice as my only option as im so stressed out about her reaction to the situation ive been having stomach cramps and throwing up all day :'(
What would you do?? X

Hope your son is feeling better now, how upsetting for you all that something routine could lead to complications, I would point out to this parent that she would do exactly the same to her employer if she found herself in your situation. It is unfortunate that these things have all come at the same time and maybe she is getting told off at work for being unreliable too - I always try to point out to parents that they should have a back up plan, do you have contact with other childminders who could help out while you move house at least?

I would assure her that you do have her and her child's best intentions at all times but sometimes things are just beyond your control and if she wants 100% reliability perhaps she should find a Nursery - but there again, they won't take child or administer calpol if under the weather, they won't be as flexible as you are, they will make her pay for set sessions rather than the actual hours she requires, they will prob charge her 100% when she is on holiday, a higher hourly rate, higher price for meals etc etc etc

I would try to keep calm at your meeting, acknowledge her concerns - address them if you can, try to suggest ways you can move forward but politely agree to disagree if you need to and offer her notice as per your contract.

Thank you for your concern! The family has no support network in the area so I know this is hard. I found alternativd care for her child whilst I move but she then decided to put him with that minder for the entire week so as to get used to her (I posted about it the other day) ive bent over backward for this lady but she seems to have no compassion :( her first priority is her son which is only right but mine is also my own children too. I have tried to point out that she would probably do the same as me n what kind of mother or care giver of any sort would I be if I was to put my job before the health of myself or my children but shes having none of it.
I intend to remain calm during our meeting but shes a very pushy person who is always right in her eyes! My oh is insisting I give notice because ofthe strain im putting on myself and my unborn. In the end its the little one who will suffer as the only other minder in the area has no other children, attends no groups, doesnt do anywhere near the same feedback as I do and wouldn't dream of accommodating her the way I have. Bless him hes a lovely little thing :( im so torn
Thank you for your view and advice x

It sounds like she is getting ready to give you notice to go with the other cm. if she can make up enough excuses she might think she doesn't have to pay you notice. I would be prepared for this at your meeting. Be professional and listen to her complaints. Discuss your policies again and leave it at that. If she continues to moan ask if she would like to give 4 weeks notice and look for alternative care. If not tell her you need to draw a line under it and move on. Good luck

I had thought about that! I just feel so bad, like im being punished for things beyond my control :( just out of interest if I do give notice and she takes her son out of my care immediately is she still obligated to pay the notice of 4 weeks? Its my understanding that she is

If it is written in your contract, then yes. I know how you feel. I closed thurs and fri last week as my son picked up a fever that's going around at school. Now tonight I have been violently sick due to catching stomach bug off mindee, so going to have to close thurs and fri this week as well. My other parent is not going to be pleased in morning when I let her know. Sometimes it's not our fault but parents can forget that and think we should carry on regardless

I had to close mon and tues this week as my ds had a tummy bug, I thought he was better by tues afternoon and hadn't been sick for 24 hours so said us be open for business on weds. As it was he was still poorly so spent the day upstairs away from mindees
Two of my parents were fine about me closing and said don't worry hope ..... Is feeling better soon The 3rd just said that's a nuisance I'm going to have to miss college now. But she is the parent who brings her child to me ill and I have to send him home, turns up late etc

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