Smokers when out and about

Sorry if this has been asked before but just wanted to clarify something about smokers and mindees.

My SIL smokes and she knows not to smoke on my property be that garden, doorway or driveway and she respects that. However DS, mindees and her son all go to the same playschool and we all wait outside, several parents smoke and I try to stand away from them, but it is not a massive area.

What do you do when in situation where you cannot control smokers around you and you can't avoid it... I could go and sit in the car, but then the kids get upset because they want to chat to their friends while waiting to go in and I feel I am punishing them, also sometimes we walk there...

i hate smoking full stop.

I am allergic to smoke- it sets my asthma off big time and i have been poorly sometimes.

I also hate people smoking in areas where other people have to wait or have no option of walking through eg school gates or outside shops etc.

I will wait across the street or further down and if any one stands near me i will sweetly say please will you smoke somewhere else i am allergic to it....if they dont move then i will.

I will not tolerate it near to me or the children in my care

i will now get off my reinforced soap box

sorry for rant

love wibble xxx

I just stand apart from the smokers and if the children say anything I remind them how much it smells and is bad for you.

I announce nice and loudly we have to move over here because that lady is smoking. The children will point to smokers now and say, we need to move she's smoking :blush:

Now as an ex-smoker who always tried to be considerate of others, I still do get really annoyed and the holier than thou 'that lady is smoking... its stinks and blah'

as a smoker I knew it was smelly, I knew it wasn't pleasant for others and that is why I would stand away from non-smokers/children etc. I didn't need self righteousness and frankly I find it rude.
many smokers do try to be courteous and mindful of others, many also try their damnest to sort out their addiction. Its not easy.

Sorry will now get of MY soap box

As a minder I don't take my mindees near smokers however out in public - as there is no law against smokers, there really isn't much i can do if we are waiting somewhere etc.
BUT - the parents of all my children smoke and the kids coats and bags/prams sTINK - I have to febreeze or neutrodol them every morning ( I never smoked in the car or the house)

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Originally Posted by blue bear

I announce nice and loudly we have to move over here because that lady is smoking. The children will point to smokers now and say, we need to move she's smoking :blush:

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sorry to me that is rude... you might not like the smell of someones perfume, kebab etc.... would you still comment and encourage the kids too?

Depends who was there first doesn't it - if the smoker was there first then yes you should move... no law against smoking in open spaces/public

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Originally Posted by Pipsqueak

sorry to me that is rude... you might not like the smell of someones perfume, kebab etc.... would you still comment and encourage the kids too?

Depends who was there first doesn't it - if the smoker was there first then yes you should move... no law against smoking in open spaces/public

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Sorry pip wasn't thinking of open spaces was thinking of pre school playground and in bus station where there is clear signs asking them not to do it. Smells of food perfume etc won't harm the children and we only comment when they lit up next to us when we are there first.

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Originally Posted by blue bear

Sorry pip wasn't thinking of open spaces was thinking of pre school playground and in bus station where there is clear signs asking them not to do it. Smells of food perfume etc won't harm the children and we only comment when they lit up next to us when we are there first.

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ahh now you see I find that awful - smoking in playgrounds and prohibited places. And I would say something .

Perfumes CAN harm people - respiritory problems.

You just have to do your best (I am an ex smoker with a hubby that smokes). You can avoid people smoking when outside, if they have started just try and stay out of their way. maybe try and distract the children with an Ispy game.

As for perfume/aftershave/air freshener etc - these if overpowering can set my sons asthma off :( . Had to ask our lovely groomer not to put perfume on our dog as it set my sons chest off

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Originally Posted by Pipsqueak

ahh now you see I find that awful - smoking in playgrounds and prohibited places. And I would say something .

Perfumes CAN harm people - respiritory problems.

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perfumes, deodorants and room fresheners set me off.......

its a wonder i am allowed anywhere alone...:laughing::laughing::laughing:


wibble x

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Originally Posted by Pipsqueak

ahh now you see I find that awful - smoking in playgrounds and prohibited places. And I would say something .

Perfumes CAN harm people - respiritory problems.

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True that. Mrs Bunyip and I are both affected by heavy perfume use, and I'm sure some people put it on by the bottle-full. Mrs B often has perfume-induced asthma attacks that have lasted several minutes - even passed out in a couple of extreme cases. :(

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Originally Posted by bunyip

True that. Mrs Bunyip and I are both affected by heavy perfume use, and I'm sure some people put it on by the bottle-full. Mrs B often has perfume-induced asthma attacks that have lasted several minutes - even passed out in a couple of extreme cases. :(

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me you and mrs b will sit on our own at the forum xmas party then....with gas masks on. This lot pour the cologne on, they smell like a doodahs wotsit....i know these things (taps nose)


wibble xxx

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Originally Posted by WibbleWobble

me you and mrs b will sit on our own at the forum xmas party then....with gas masks on. This lot pour the cologne on, they smell like a doodahs wotsit....i know these things (taps nose)


wibble xxx

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I have to hold my breathe and run down the soap powder aisle - i get headchey, wheezy. perfume and plug -in's do the same to me... horrid

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Originally Posted by Pipsqueak

Now as an ex-smoker who always tried to be considerate of others, I still do get really annoyed and the holier than thou 'that lady is smoking... its stinks and blah'

as a smoker I knew it was smelly, I knew it wasn't pleasant for others and that is why I would stand away from non-smokers/children etc. I didn't need self righteousness and frankly I find it rude.
many smokers do try to be courteous and mindful of others, many also try their damnest to sort out their addiction. Its not easy.

Sorry will now get of MY soap box

As a minder I don't take my mindees near smokers however out in public - as there is no law against smokers, there really isn't much i can do if we are waiting somewhere etc.
BUT - the parents of all my children smoke and the kids coats and bags/prams sTINK - I have to febreeze or neutrodol them every morning ( I never smoked in the car or the house)

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I am also an ex smoker and about 10 years ago I was standing on a platform of a train station, it was all open/outdoors. I was standing with a friend and this older couple came and sat on the bench that was near us a couple of feet away. This lady got a sandwich out and started eating. I then lit a cigarette, again baring in mind I wasn't actually that close to her... Anyway her husband then comes up to me hurling abuse about how disgraceful I was, I was a disgusting human being and how dare I light a fag and smoke it while his wife was eating!!! :eek: I was so annoyed and told him, had he been polite and ask me to step further away I would have done so, but because he was so rude I wasn't budging!

As for the playschool, it is held at the community village hall, there is a small car park, then small path, with a few steps, so not really anywhere else to stand... Also because it is not actually "school grounds" if that makes sense, then parents can smoke, in fact they even have them smoking bin things on the wall.

surely the pre-school issue requests for no smoking in view of children mine does - and agree do not hang around groups that do smoke infront of my children or mindees... even my husband walks off and does not smoke in area or view really.

I don't know if it is just me,but it appears that I see less and less people smoking in public now, but I don't get out much socially so maybe that's it?

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Originally Posted by EmmaReed84

I am also an ex smoker and about 10 years ago I was standing on a platform of a train station, it was all open/outdoors. I was standing with a friend and this older couple came and sat on the bench that was near us a couple of feet away. This lady got a sandwich out and started eating. I then lit a cigarette, again baring in mind I wasn't actually that close to her... Anyway her husband then comes up to me hurling abuse about how disgraceful I was, I was a disgusting human being and how dare I light a fag and smoke it while his wife was eating!!! :eek: I was so annoyed and told him, had he been polite and ask me to step further away I would have done so, but because he was so rude I wasn't budging!

As for the playschool, it is held at the community village hall, there is a small car park, then small path, with a few steps, so not really anywhere else to stand... Also because it is not actually "school grounds" if that makes sense, then parents can smoke, in fact they even have them smoking bin things on the wall.

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people smoke just outside the school premises and only a very ignorant few step onto school property.
Like I say - observe the no smoking places and I do have a few issues with those who gather round the exit and entrances and there is no choice but to walk through the fug and fumes.... however its not just smokers who are inconsiderate now is it. If its in open spaces and its allowed then I think those who waft, rant, and make comments are frankly rude. They might not like it however if something was to offend your eyes/hearing about a specific person would someone be so rude?

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Originally Posted by EmmaReed84

As for the playschool, it is held at the community village hall, there is a small car park, then small path, with a few steps, so not really anywhere else to stand... Also because it is not actually "school grounds" if that makes sense, then parents can smoke, in fact they even have them smoking bin things on the wall.

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[General point, not aimed at anyone in particular, so please don't anyone get offended.:)]
I've just gone 9 years (plus another month) without a cigarette, although I've also resisted the temptation to turn into all holier-than-thou about it. I don't want my mindees (or anyone else for that matter) having to put up with unwanted smoke or being encouraged to do it by seeing it being modelled in an inappropriate place. But neither do I see the need to rant and deny someone their civil right to do as they choose, any more than I'd shout at people for other unhealthy lifestyle options. I might just feel entitled to start doing that when I'm perfect.

Smoking is perfectly legal, so people have a right to do it: in the proper place. Driving a car is perfectly legal, but also has some unwanted effects for people: so we ask people to drive in the proper place and in the proper manner. It's a similar thing. :thumbsup:

@Emma - My tack would be to have a word with the preschool and ask them to politely ask all parents and carers to smoke well out of the way, where they won't affect or influence other parents/carers/lo's/younger siblings/etc. who are present collecting lo's. If that means stepping out onto the pavement and out of sight, then so be it. We have summer garden parties for all mindees and parents. Some of the parents are smokers, so I have to request they take a walk round the block to have a cigarette, and they all do it without resentment. Preschool should refer to the need to 'role-model' for children, and even make a positive thing out of health education aspects or offering NHS quit-smoking advice, resources, etc. Preschool should see this sort of 'problem' as an opportunity. :idea: