Reviving an old thread as we need a laugh

[Pipsqueak]

I actually just snorted whilst reading this........... and i have a cold.............so not good!

thats a really nice image you haven't put in my head now.... gross is your keyboard covering in green gunk

[rickysmiths]

Oh!!!! it's taken five mins to recover enough to write this post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I've used a box of tissues - can I put them done on my expenses and the Tena?!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It didnt help that I've just had 1/2 a bottle of very good wine with dinner!

athanks goodness we can all keep a sense of humour. I don't include anything about sikping ropes never thought to I just have a risk ass(!!! ) for the garden. and the bigger equipment.

[Minstrel]

thats a really nice image you haven't put in my head now.... gross is your keyboard covering in green gunk

no luckily i had a tissue next to me but it was down my face for a couple of seconds, good job my mouth was closed!

P.s. i know this is tmi but some of the stuff you girls write about....... its about time i got my own back!

[Pipsqueak]

no luckily i had a tissue next to me but it was down my face for a couple of seconds, good job my mouth was closed!

P.s. i know this is tmi but some of the stuff you girls write about....... its about time i got my own back!

oh that is really is SOOOO gross but i hope you remembered to keep breathing

[Minstrel]

oh yes i did- i dont want to get an action or inadequate on my inspection.

[misst104]

x x x

[tammerisk]

do you think we could put together a copy of al these reidiculas policies and send them to the govenment and ofsted and see what there reaction is or even the national news or papers

[aly]

I have now printed and saved this policy....I need to send a copy of mu policies to my network co-ordinator so I am wondering whether to include it as ajoke

[jibberjitz]

[TheBTeam]

My cheeks hurt from laughing, i think we need to revise the coughing bit in light of swine flu tho!

[Pipsqueak]

I have now printed and saved this policy....I need to send a copy of mu policies to my network co-ordinator so I am wondering whether to include it as ajoke

oh go on, be a devil and see if she notices lol
do tell us what she says

[huggableshelly]

lol I've emailed it out to cm friends and my grumpy grandmother who laughed so hard ... mum wasnt impressed as she wasnt on the loo at the time lmao

[Lady Haha]

I loved this policy!!! Fantastic!!! I know that the majority of my parents will find it really funny too!

I especially loved the bit about needing permission to allow the child to breathe or cm wouldn't be able to let the child breathe which could be detrimental to their health

[ORKSIE]

OMW I have read this thread and i did actuallyLOL

[Pipsqueak]

Time for its 6monthly revival bump

[LittleMissSparkles]

Yes here it is ladies and gents..... the one and only

fabulous

Breathing Policy by the brilliant Pauline

If your child breathes I will ensure that the air around him/her is clean and free from dirt.

If your child arrives having breathed dirty air you will be required to sign an 'exisiting contamination form'

Children will be encouraged to breathe at all times

If your child refuses to breathe I will have to notify Ofsted and you must collect them immediately

I must ensure that all breathing meets the national standards, therefore we will practice breathing at all minutes of the day.

Please discuss breathing with your child and encourage them to breathe while in my care

Coughs will be considered acceptable forms of breathing, however you must sign a form to say that you will allow this

You must also sign a parental permission for that allows me to let your child breathe during his/her time in my care

This is my breathing procedure: in, out, in, out, in, out


Thank your for your understanding.
__________________

bump up to top of thread xxx

[TheBTeam]

This is so funny and just the laugh I needed! thanks

[Pauline]

Time for its 6monthly revival bump

Oh my, is it that time of year again?

[Carol M]

We gotta be careful here, HEAVY BREATHING could that be a child protection issue ! ! ??
Carol

[Twinkle]

This thread is soooo funny, my dd thinks I've lost the plot.