!st inspection yesterday - have a query though!

[starbabe6]

The inspection went ok, my daughter behaved appallingly though! After I had put my childminded child for a nap i told my daughter she was 'naughty' when she was doing something - the inspector pulled me up for this saying i cant use the word 'naughty' as its inappropriate. Firstly it was to my own child when the other one was napping - surely they cant comment on that? My daughter also fell over (whilst other was still napping) and i said 'oh u silly bean up you pop' she pulled me for that was well - u cant say 'silly' as that is also inappropriate! Then when they were both up playing i called them cheeky monkeys - again pulled up as 'cheeky' is a unsuitable word.......am I the only one that wasnt aware of this? If i cant say naughty, cheeky or silly - not in a bad way what words can i say???? I got all satisfactorys, which i was a bit dissappointed with, but she said that is what a first inspection result should be? Any comments welcomed!!

[Pudding Girl]

I think you have grounds for appealing/complaining however it works.

How dare she tell you how to speak to your own child when the other one wasn't even there?!!!

[sue m]

Good grief!!!!!!! That is just ridiculous - in my own opinion. She was just too ott wasn't she! I'd have been so fuming! Who does she think she is. That's the sort of thing that makes me mad for days!!!

[sarah707]

Goodness! Sounds like you had a dreadful time! I think I might have argued back at those a bit...

Ok, 'naughty' is not considered politically correct any more to use for mindees but for your own child you can say what you want, nobody has any right to stand in judgement of what you say to your own child in that sort of situation. And I regularly call the little ones 'silly sausage' or 'daft' when they are acting up, it's a cute way of talking to them.

Satisfactory means you are fit to work with children... there's absolutely nothing wrong with satisfactory as a grade, but if you feel you were wrongly spoken to by the inspector, then you can write to Ofsted and complain.

Let us know what you decide to do xx

[Mrs.L.C]

Its crazy isnt it....we cant say anything. I knew about the naughty one as they prefer you tp explain why you didnt like the childs behaviour and naughty an make the child think its them you are not happy with when infact its the behaviour but as you are the parent, its up to you what you say

As for the words silly or cheeky....What the .... surely this is not offensive and i cant see how its wrong. I use um all the time

Most people get Satisfactory on their first inspection and to be honest I have not yet come accross a parent who takes any notice of the grades as long as they are Ofsted registered to work

[starbabe6]

I really dont know what Im going to do - is it worth kicking up a fuss?? I do feel a bit sore about it and i did joking mention to the inspector was this an inspection on my parenting, she also said i was led by daughter, which i admitted was because i was letting her get away with more that day as ofsted were sat on my sofa, she is well and truely into the terrible 2's and was trying to avoid a scene - which was wrong i know and i did put my foot down on somethings. There is a summer play group in Taunton called 'Cheeky Monkeys' i cant unerstand how i cant call them cheeky and yet this summer school is obviously ofsted registered? It was my first inspection so will take on board what was said, just feel some comments were a bit unfair.

[starbabe6]

Silly and cheeky were apparantely 'labels'. I was labelling the child as silly or cheeky and obviously u cant label them. I wasnt using them when they had been naughty or n e thing jus messing about with them. She explained that as they get older and head off to school where 'silly' and 'cheeky' become bad things they may feel they are as i called them it and think less of themselves?

[Mrs.L.C]

But dont they say its best to ignore negative behaviour unless its hurting another child/person or themselves? So cant understand Ofsted there

[PaulaR]

This makes me mad. Who do Ofsted think they are. I got Satisfactory for my second inspection and I know that I am far better, have better paperwork and have been on lots of courses.
I had a 'naughty' child once and the inspector asked how I managed his behaviour. Anyway, we got to talking about raising your voice and she said you must never raise your voice to a child. Even if theyr've run off in the playground or park and they are in danger. You can't shout "stop, get down" or anything. You must walk to the child and speak to them calmly. Even if the delay means they have fallen of the equipemt. I don't think these inspectors live in the real world.

[Mags]

I call my little ones cheeky monkeys all the time...can't see any harm in it to be honest.
My Grandson call everyone "banana cakes" if they have done something silly..not sure where he's got that one from!!

[crazybones]

I call them little rascals, little/cheeky monkeys, cheeky face whilst hugging, cuddling, laughing etc with them. Maybe we should have a Top Ten list of what we shouldnt say in case we damage the children in later life.

I was called naughty - I was even smacked at home and a couple of times I had the ruler in school It didnt do me any harm and I certainly dont think less of myself.

[buildingblocks]

Then when they were both up playing i called them cheeky monkeys - again pulled up as 'cheeky' is a unsuitable word.......am I the only one that wasnt aware of this? If i cant say naughty, cheeky or silly - not in a bad way what words can i say???? I got all satisfactorys, which i was a bit dissappointed with, but she said that is what a first inspection result should be? Any comments welcomed!!

I think probably Ofsted see it that if you say it to your child then you may do it to a mindee - mind you some of mine get far worse from there parents!!!!! I understand why they pick up on it though as the theory is that if a child is told it often enough they believe it. But when it is your own child not sure what the protocol is on that. If you object to her words then fight it. I still find it hard after all these years.

I didn't know you couldn't say cheeky though - a new one on me.

As for Satisfactory being what a first inspection result should be rubbish as there are many on here who have been given good or even outstanding on a afirst inspection.

[buildingblocks]

Even if theyr've run off in the playground or park and they are in danger. You can't shout "stop, get down" or anything. You must walk to the child and speak to them calmly. Even if the delay means they have fallen of the equipemt. I don't think these inspectors live in the real world.

Well then in that case what do you do when a child runs into the road

Talk in a very calm voice oh darling please could you come back before that big lorry squashes you flat and ofsted congrtulate me on the fact I didn't shout but are going to de register me as a child in my care got flattened by a lorry.


OR

Grab childs hand say in a very loud voice you must never do that again then hug child while in tears(you) at thought of what might have happened and then apologse for shouting and explain you souted as you were scared they would get hurt

Yes I did the second whilst a nanny not as a childminder and I think I would prefer the second option to the first. Also think most parents would prefer the second option

[cloud9]

I worked in a nursery about 10 years ago now and the word "NO" was not allowed to be used in the setting because it showed negative enforcement!

So when one child was about to slap another instead of quickly saying No to stop them you had to same something like Now xxx you mustn't do that. In the mean time though the other child had already received the slap!

[Spangles]

Reading this has really annoyed me! It's ridiculous to be told that you can't say 'no' or raise your voice! I raise my voice to my son, I think you need to in some circumstances ie. safety or when he repeatedly ignores me with his selective hearing!

I often call him a 'silly sausage', 'daftee' or 'silly billy' when he does something funny or to lighten moments like if he trips, etc.

I think that the inspector was very unfair and I would seriously consider appealing if it was me.

I'm not going to dare hardly speak at my inspection now!

[barbarella68]

Oh my God I can't believe what I have read here,I may have to change the name of my business as it is called Cheeky Monkeys Childminding.
I would complain about the cheek of the woman pulling you up on what you said to your daughter.Just remember half of these so called Ofsted inspectors haven't got any children of their own and read most of their rubbish from books written by people who haven't got children or who have never been near children.
Changing the subject slightly last Friday I got called by the school to come and change my 6 year old mindee because he soiled himself and the school were not allowed to do it I couldn't get to him for 45 minutes,so he was like that for 45 minutes when I got there he was in the reception area just standing their and the receptionist said to me he is very upset.I said I should think he is what you did tantamounts to abuse,she told me it was because Ofsted don't like them to get involved and clean them up.So Ofsted have one rule for themselves and another for everyone else and the sooner that they are all sacked the better

[Spangles]

Oh Alyson, that's so disgusting! That's actually really, really bad. An experience like that could leave him mentally scarred for quite a long time, bless him. On top of being soiled so uncomfortable and wet etc he must have felt embarrassed and ashamed and very lonely stood there alone in that situation.

I think that would have broken my heart and if my son was ever treated that way I would go ballistic!

Ofsted are absolutely ridiculous sometimes, they just blindly follow idiotic rules not giving any consideration to practicality and children's feelings and futures. I'm really annoyed!

[wendywu]

I would ask Ofsted where it states in writing the words that chilminders cannot use. I would also what legal rights they have to control what you say to your own child. I would not let this go but you have to be prepared to be in for a long fight with Ofsted.

[Mollymop]

I have learned from this, I will try not to use the word silly from now on to get in practice for my inspection as I use silly alot! "Silly Timmy", I say to my mindees when my son is being silly and we all laugh, as does Tim, as that is his trait, sillyness!
I do know that "naughty" is out of bounds though, but it was your dd that you were saying it to out of presence of the mindee, but then I suppose your dd could tell the mindee that "mummy thinks you are naughty".
I think i would appeal about the cheeky and silly aspects though, as that is just plain SILLY!

[mum22]

Blimey, next we'll have to right a policy on words we will not be using....