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Thread: Help!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2021
    Registered Childminder since
    Sep 20
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    Unhappy Help!

    Hey everyone! I’m new here! I’ve read posts in the past as a none member looking for help but I’ve only just joined! I’m looking for some advice. Basically I have a 2 year old who attends 4 days a week, very sweet, bright little one, who can be really lovely and clearly enjoys it here. However, she constantly tells my own little boy what to do, bosses him around, tells him to stop it all the time even when he isn’t doing anything annoying/wrong. She will snatch off him and if I correct her she will cry or sulk. She hits him, and I’ve noticed that the physical stuff ie. hitting and kicking him, happens when mum arrives. She will be sitting nicely waiting for mum or playing nicely, and the minute mum walks in, she will shout at my son and start hissing at him and kicking him. Mum does nothing about it and actually plays it off “oh are you hissing?” In a nice tone, almost encouraging the behaviour. She will watch while little one climbs all over sofas, yesterday even saying to her “are you going to jump?” While little one jumped from one of my sofas to the other. Now obviously my own son is not perfect and he does this too, so little one isn’t just running riot alone, but I tell my son to stop and give him a warning that if he continues he will not go to the shop/get sweets/something else he wants to do. But this little one is given to such warning from mum, who just stands and watches as I struggle to get her daughter off my window sill! Yesterday after kicking and hissing at my boy, I told her to be nice, and little one told me in an abrupt tone to leave her alone! Mum didn’t even so much as react, but if my boy spoke to anyone like that even at this age, he would be told firmly that we do not speak to people in this way! It’s like mum doesn’t see what her little one is doing is wrong, or she just doesn’t care/doesn’t want to tell her off! I feel stuck because if mum doesn’t see it as a problem then what am I to do? Anyone got any advice? I’m sick of her making my son cry and mum just standing there! Please help? X

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Registered Childminder since
    June 95
    Latest Inspection Grade
    Non childminder member
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    Hello, normally that’s a hard one but during the present climate parents shouldn’t be in the house. Children should be taken to the front door to parent who stays a safe distance away to protect you.So this should stop the problem at the moment. Hopefully when the pandemic is better/ over hopefully problem will have correct it self.

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  4. #3
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Registered Childminder since
    Mar 10
    Latest Inspection Grade
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    Handovers are so hard sometimes. My honest advice is to deal with it sooner rather than later and when you are in a calm headspace so that you can be professional. I was having a hard time at pick up a few years ago and never bucked up the courage to say anything (dropped lots of hints, but sometimes hints fall on deaf ears and don't have the desired effect). One day, I finally snapped and asked the dad to not allow his son to do what he was doing, but I said it in a really rude, unprofessional way. Honestly, I was sick to the stomach all weekend checking to see if I had any stroppy emails from them and then I was really worried about seeing them on the Monday morning. Fortunately, no more was said about it, but I really felt like I had let myself down by not handling it better.

    Like Dragonfly said, mum should not be coming in at the moment anyway. Why not send them an email explaining that inline with guidelines you will be switching to a quick doorstep handover. Be strong. Stick to it. Let us know how it goes. x



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