I've had a complaint from a parent today. (actually series of complaints in one email when nothing has previously been mentioned and the parents have recommended me to others and praised us in the past). The child is a typical 2 year old, very bright, great character and has been coming for over a year, happy and developing well. has her typical toddler tantrums which often involve lots of screaming, wailing, foot stomping but never any tears just noise really usually this is when she is very overtired/hasn't slept well. Mum and dad have consistently agreed she's very stubborn and will often have a very extreme reaction to simple requests (e.g. please put that back or share etc.). her outbursts have been much less frequent over the last couple of months but when she is in that frame of mind will have little meltdowns on and off for most of the day. Mum and dad have different views on dummy use, with mum offering it at my front door at hometime regardless of whether it's asked for and dad has admitted that mum "drives him mad with it" as she always gives her it or backs down when she has tantrums. the girl doesn't have a dummy at all here or ask for it unless she's unwell. We use thinking time here and she is a child that prefers to calm herself down first and then come back to the group when she's ready (if I ask her if shes ready she will often say no if she feels she needs a bit more time and I regularly check in. This is an approach that seems to work for her (we had trial and error to find something that worked for her and she's quite switched on and knows when she wants space and when she wants comfort) and dad says they follow at home and at grandparents (although they have a fixed step that she's sent to for "time out"- here she chooses where she wants to go to think, often she will choose stairs or sit in the doorway of my kitchen). Today this wasn't working she was beyond tired and laid herself down at several points to rest as she knew this (she doesn't do naps or sleep at night). She had thinking time earlier this afternoon and began screaming til the point where she was retching and I mentioned this to dad as I said I was concerned she was going to make herself sick and wasn't sure if she was coming down with something or just run down so admitted I gave her her dummy half an hour before hometime as her usual approaches weren't working for her and she was becoming increasingly frustrated, rubbing eyes constantly, rolling on the floor, pulling blanket on her. Dad said she has had a difficult couple of days with sleep and behaviour but said he would have a word with her this evening re: her behaviour. I've had an email from mum stating she is concerned that her child is making herself sick due to my behaviour management methods and that it's too much for young children, she has also complained that her daughter's bum was sore which only happens when her nappies are sodden (nothing was noticed at her afternoon nappy change- no cream is ever provided and not soaked through etc. all children changed regularly, she'd only had wet nappies that day) (she says this is not the first time it's happened but hasn't mentioned anything previously) but has also expressed her concern that we provide water all day but juice only at mealtimes and she is concerned her daughter will not be drinking enough as she doesn't like water, despite me speaking to mum about how well she's taken to it recently, is helping herself to water now she can pour it and mum agreeing she can often sneak water in at home and whilst she'll pull a face she will drink it. she wants to arrange a meeting to discuss these issues, I'm not sure how to approach it all, it's my first complaint despite working with children for years and mum has never mentioned anything before so it just seems so out the blue. I also don't get how she can be concerned about her not drinking enough but her nappies being too wet. She obviously knows how often shes changed as she sends the nappies/wipes daily. I work with an assistant who is as much bewildered as I am and feeling very upset that if she's had issues before she hasn't even mentioned them, and that actually the things she's complained about are pretty much tantamount to me neglecting her basic needs. Not sure how best to broach it or how to reply, she wants a meeting but I would like everything in writing. We have really good relationships with parents, spending a good 10 mins chatting to each at pick up and drop offs, regular meet ups etc. I just feel like she has literally sat down and thought "and another thing I dont like about you......" as it's all come out at once despite nothing mentioned at drop off about past concerns.
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