Advice needed accidents/incidents

**halor** · 23-11-2015, 09:26 PM

Really need some advice and I'm also hoping that others have had this before. I look after a one year old once a week. It seems that every week he goes home with some sort of injury. He has just started walking so a lot of them are to do with that.

Normally it's a bump on the head and for the last 3 weeks he has had an accident form each week.

Today he fell in the hallway and caught his cheek on the bottom step. It looks like he has a slight friction mark and a graze. I did everything correctly, administered first aid, texted mum and did an accident form. He was fine a few moments later so I knew it wasn't a serious injury.

I just feel terrible about the whole thing, I know there's nothing I could have done but it's not helping. I told the parents I would totally understand if they would like to use a different childminder but they've said he is happy with me and they understand it's not my fault. Their boy has a lovely bond with me, I'd really miss him.

I just feel terrible that this little boy seems to be filling my accident sheets. I mentioned it to my other half and he berated me slightly saying that because I'd mentioned using another minder it sounds like I was guilty of something.

I rarely have to do accident forms other than this little boy.

Will I ever not feel terrible when a little one hurts them self? Do other childminders feel guilty like I do? I have no idea what advice I need, i just need to know if others have gone through this I think.

**BallyH** · 23-11-2015, 09:40 PM

Originally Posted by halor

Really need some advice and I'm also hoping that others have had this before. I look after a one year old once a week. It seems that every week he goes home with some sort of injury. He has just started walking so a lot of them are to do with that.

Normally it's a bump on the head and for the last 3 weeks he has had an accident form each week.

Today he fell in the hallway and caught his cheek on the bottom step. It looks like he has a slight friction mark and a graze. I did everything correctly, administered first aid, texted mum and did an accident form. He was fine a few moments later so I knew it wasn't a serious injury.

I just feel terrible about the whole thing, I know there's nothing I could have done but it's not helping. I told the parents I would totally understand if they would like to use a different childminder but they've said he is happy with me and they understand it's not my fault. Their boy has a lovely bond with me, I'd really miss him.

I just feel terrible that this little boy seems to be filling my accident sheets. I mentioned it to my other half and he berated me slightly saying that because I'd mentioned using another minder it sounds like I was guilty of something.

I rarely have to do accident forms other than this little boy.

Will I ever not feel terrible when a little one hurts them self? Do other childminders feel guilty like I do? I have no idea what advice I need, i just need to know if others have gone through this I think.

Oh I've been there. Once I sent a toddler home with an 'egg' on their forehead. I felt physically sick watching it happen. She banged it on a slide edge as she was climbing up the little grassy bank beside it. And like you, I text the parent to forewarn them. I felt uneasy all weekend, even now it upsets me and it was approx 20 months ago. And she is still here.
So you're doing the right thing in keeping the lines of communication open with parents. Just try and relax with the little boy as he learns to balance and adjust his speed etc more so he has less accidents. Some children trip over fresh air. Try not to loose your confidence. It's a hard job. The parents are obviously happy with the bond he has with you so enjoy being with him.

**halor** · 23-11-2015, 09:49 PM

Thanks Moh, I just seem to feel instantly guilty almost like its my fault but there's nothing I can do. The house is as safe as I can make it but obviously there is risks with everything. It sounds awful but I would feel so bad if it was my own child. He's such a lovely little boy but he is accident prone, I could cover every corner in the house and he would be the one to fall on the only corner the bumper had fallen off.

His face looked so sore, he had a little blister but I've always been led to believe that it's not a terrible thing and it's just the body's way of healing. I just seem to always take him home 'damaged'

My other half said I sound like I'm guilty of something but I just can't help it :-/

**sing-low** · 24-11-2015, 08:27 AM

Originally Posted by halor

Thanks Moh, I just seem to feel instantly guilty almost like its my fault but there's nothing I can do. The house is as safe as I can make it but obviously there is risks with everything. It sounds awful but I would feel so bad if it was my own child. He's such a lovely little boy but he is accident prone, I could cover every corner in the house and he would be the one to fall on the only corner the bumper had fallen off. His face looked so sore, he had a little blister but I've always been led to believe that it's not a terrible thing and it's just the body's way of healing. I just seem to always take him home 'damaged' My other half said I sound like I'm guilty of something but I just can't help it :-/

If anything, you are 'guilty' of caring for the child and wanting to keep them safe. That's not a bad thing! I went through a similar thing with one LO. Mum arrived one day and joked 'What, no accident form?!'. He was learning to walk too and having tumbles is part of that process. DH and I call the year between first and second birthday 'the year of pain' as they do seem to hurt themselves so much over that twelve month period of learning to walk.

**SYLVIA** · 24-11-2015, 08:34 AM

I hardly use my accident book but I had a pair of siblings who did everything at 100 miles per hour and they filled my book in no time. At the moment it's my own 11 mths grandson who goes home with a bruise every time he visits because he's learning to stand up and walk. It passes.... Until the next one arrives!!!!

**halor** · 24-11-2015, 10:10 AM

Thanks everyone, maybe I just need to bubble wrap him lol! My son is terrible for getting hurt but I'm fine with that lol!

**bunyip** · 24-11-2015, 02:11 PM

In my last job I was a station first aider. I had some sort of casualty practically every day. I dealt everything from fits to heart attacks, from people falling down escalators to the odd passenger hit by a train.

But I was never quite so affected by all that as I am by having to deal with a mindee who has an accident, no matter how unavoidable.

(This probably makes me a bad person.

)

**hectors house** · 24-11-2015, 02:34 PM

At least the mum isn't giving you a hard time, I had a mum who used to say things like "Oh dear, poor X - what is your daddy going to say?" and really make me feel guilty especially as he was so accident prone that he did seem to have a daily accident - everytime he fell over he managed to hit a door frame or hard surface with his head or put his teeth through his lip.

Eventually I stood up for myself and said "If you want me to take your comment as a formal complaint then I will follow my complaint procedure or if you are accusing me of neglect and lack of supervision the number for Ofsted is on the poster in the porch - but other than wrapping your child in a cotton wool and giving him a crash hat there is nothing more I can do as I am not in control of his feet".

**lollipop kid** · 24-11-2015, 04:25 PM

I find that the children tend to have more trips and falls when they get new shoes.

Therefore, I always ask parents to warn me when the children are due their new shoes; then I watch them like a hawk and enforce my 'no running' rule.

I hope it helps,

LK

**loocyloo** · 24-11-2015, 05:01 PM

Originally Posted by lollipop kid

I find that the children tend to have more trips and falls when they get new shoes.

Therefore, I always ask parents to warn me when the children are due their new shoes; then I watch them like a hawk and enforce my 'no running' rule.

I hope it helps,

LK

And also when they need new shoes!

**halor** · 24-11-2015, 05:44 PM

You guys have made me feel soooooooo much better! The little one started walking a week ago and still has the 'drunk' walk. I texted today to ask how he was and he's fine. She told me to stop worrying lol!

I had a difficult parent up until a few months ago. She was never happy and would always give criticism. Especially about the fact that I didn't do a 'proper' job so I don't know what it's like. I firmly put her in her place! She was picking her daughter up one day and when she was putting her coat on she knocked her daughter into a door frame. She hit it really hard, I bent down to help and mum out her hand up and said I'm here now so don't require you. Her face was a picture when I told her to leave the house otherwise she needed to let me help baring in mind she wasn't a first aider grrrr. She was one of those mums who permanently felt guilty that she was working and I got blamed for a lot. In the end I told her to give me notice if she wasn't happy. The next day she was on my doorstep with flowers. Weirdly enough, the daughter only had accidents here when mum was present.

The mum of the little one I have said she is happy because she knows I love all the kids and treat them like a member of the family

**halor** · 24-11-2015, 05:46 PM

Originally Posted by hectors house

At least the mum isn't giving you a hard time, I had a mum who used to say things like "Oh dear, poor X - what is your daddy going to say?" and really make me feel guilty especially as he was so accident prone that he did seem to have a daily accident - everytime he fell over he managed to hit a door frame or hard surface with his head or put his teeth through his lip. Eventually I stood up for myself and said "If you want me to take your comment as a formal complaint then I will follow my complaint procedure or if you are accusing me of neglect and lack of supervision the number for Ofsted is on the poster in the porch - but other than wrapping your child in a cotton wool and giving him a crash hat there is nothing more I can do as I am not in control of his feet".

Sometimes they expect you to have inspector gadget arms that automatically shoot out to catch the kids!

**bunyip** · 24-11-2015, 07:49 PM

Has anybody ever noticed the way some mums make a huge fuss if lo acquires the slightest little mark at the CM's, but thinks the CM is "over-reacting" if we fill in an 'existing injury form' for a massive black eye sustained over the weekend?

**halor** · 25-11-2015, 08:04 AM

Originally Posted by bunyip

Has anybody ever noticed the way some mums make a huge fuss if lo acquires the slightest little mark at the CM's, but thinks the CM is "over-reacting" if we fill in an 'existing injury form' for a massive black eye sustained over the weekend?

Lol, that is sooooo true!

**hectors house** · 25-11-2015, 08:08 AM

Originally Posted by bunyip

Has anybody ever noticed the way some mums make a huge fuss if lo acquires the slightest little mark at the CM's, but thinks the CM is "over-reacting" if we fill in an 'existing injury form' for a massive black eye sustained over the weekend?

I know it's cruel but I had a smirk to myself when my "helicopter" parent told me that her precious toddler had fallen off a bench into a clump of nettles, stinging himself all over and putting his teeth through his lip while out with her and the dad - I managed to stop myself saying "Poor X - a ratio of 2 adults to 1 child and you still couldn't keep him safe"!

**lollipop kid** · 25-11-2015, 09:04 AM

Originally Posted by hectors house

I know it's cruel but I had a smirk to myself when my "helicopter" parent told me that her precious toddler had fallen off a bench into a clump of nettles, stinging himself all over and putting his teeth through his lip while out with her and the dad - I managed to stop myself saying "Poor X - a ratio of 2 adults to 1 child and you still couldn't keep him safe"!

I would have loved to see the existing injury form you wrote up for that one, HH!

Poor kid, but great story.

LK

**halor** · 01-12-2015, 12:41 PM

For the first time in a long time, possibly ever, the little boy went home unscathed! I did manage to chuck a bottle of milk over him though :-/

Simona · 06-12-2015, 09:57 AM

I am rather baffled as to why parents do not know 'what to expect and when'? as they get to the stage of their baby transiting between babyhood...when they are constantly carried safely....to bum shuffling, crawling, cruising along furniture, getting under it and basically being very active as they prepare to be walking?

This is not something that happens overnight and surely they have plenty of information and advice on what actions to take to make this transition a pleasure rather than another opportunity to panic and over protect?

I would say a quick discussion on how to make the environment safer...both at home and in our setting without wrapping children in cotton wool...would do the trick as to 'prevent' but not totally eliminate the possibility of a child falling over and showing signs of bumps and bruises.

Alongside this parents need clear understanding that, when accidents happen at home and in our settings, we are required to fill in a form in compliance to the EYFS!