Pudding if they haven't eaten dinner?

**buzzy bee** · 28-02-2012, 02:02 PM

My theory is that if they're not hungry enough to eat their sandwiches / dinner etc then they won't be hungry for pudding... just wondered what everyone else's opinions are.

Also, do you give your after schoolers pudding too? Quite often mine don't finish their dinner even when they've had small portions, so I don't tend to offer them pudding.

Am I mean??

**miffy** · 28-02-2012, 02:10 PM

If they've eaten a reasonable amount then I offer fruit.

Miffy xx

**adele1985** · 28-02-2012, 02:18 PM

i use stickers works really well if they eat all theor lunch then they get a sticker

They then get to choose from either fruit or a yoghurt (cake on the rare occassion)

If they donr eat thier lunch (or dont have a good try of it) then they dont get a sticker and are only offerd fruit

**anisha** · 28-02-2012, 02:42 PM

I agree with miffy

**little chickee** · 28-02-2012, 02:53 PM

Depends on how much they've eaten.
They would have to eat 1/2 to 3/4 of their main to get pudding.

I don't offer friut or yoghurt if they've not eaten main course.
I have and have had mindees who would cheerfully eat fruit and yoghurt all day to the exclusion of anything else.

If they knew that even if they didnt eat their lunch they would still get fruit or yoghurt they would be delighted and would happily eat no lunch.

**singingcactus** · 28-02-2012, 04:31 PM

If I'm giving a dessert or sweet component to a meal then I serve it all at the same time, often on the same plate for the young ones. I allow the diner to decide when, how much, and at what stage of the meal they eat each part. My 3 little ones will eat theirs right in the middle of their savoury portions, my son and other school agers will eat theirs to start with, my eldest 2 (teens) will eat theirs after their savoury portions.

I don't like to compel children to over eat just so that they can go on and fill up still further on a dessert. I prefer them to have the control over their food intake.

They all manage to eat a fully balanced whole food diet. Having said that I tend not to provide puddings, not cos I don't think kids should have them, just cos it doesn't really occur to me to do so.

But everyone should do what works for themselves, although not allowing some children to eat one part of a meal cos they haven't eaten enough of something else can add unneeded conflict to the food table. The kids have a lifetime of eating ahead of them, so creating conflict early on in a part of life that should be enjoyable is not a good move. But I'm sure there are ways of having the children eat the part you want them to eat first without the conflict....I just don't find it important enough for me personally.

**buzzy bee** · 28-02-2012, 04:36 PM

Originally Posted by singingcactus

If I'm giving a dessert or sweet component to a meal then I serve it all at the same time, often on the same plate for the young ones. I allow the diner to decide when, how much, and at what stage of the meal they eat each part. My 3 little ones will eat theirs right in the middle of their savoury portions, my son and other school agers will eat theirs to start with, my eldest 2 (teens) will eat theirs after their savoury portions.

I don't like to compel children to over eat just so that they can go on and fill up still further on a dessert. I prefer them to have the control over their food intake.

They all manage to eat a fully balanced whole food diet. Having said that I tend not to provide puddings, not cos I don't think kids should have them, just cos it doesn't really occur to me to do so.

But everyone should do what works for themselves, although not allowing some children to eat one part of a meal cos they haven't eaten enough of something else can add unneeded conflict to the food table. The kids have a lifetime of eating ahead of them, so creating conflict early on in a part of life that should be enjoyable is not a good move. But I'm sure there are ways of having the children eat the part you want them to eat first without the conflict....I just don't find it important enough for me personally.

That's an interesting way of doing things... I know when mine were little I used to give them their yogurt at the same time as dinner and quite often they would eat them on the same spoon! yuk!!

For me it's more about wastage - I throw away so much food. So if I'm throwing away their main course I don't wanna waste more food on them

**ziggy** · 28-02-2012, 05:10 PM

I dont offer puddings as such, i offer yoghurts after lunch and tea. fruit and yoghurts are offered at snack time

If a child hasnt eaten at least 3/4 of meal/sandwiches and they tell me they're full, then i dont offer yoghurt till next meal/snack time. I dont make a big fuss about it
I also think some children would eat fruit/yoghurts/toast all day and never try to eat a meal

onceinabluemoon · 28-02-2012, 05:35 PM

I don't do pudding at all.

I offer fruit, biscuits, cheese, yoghurts etc at snack time so they don't go without. As a family we do not eat puddings and many of the families the children come from don't have puddings either...

**blue bear** · 28-02-2012, 09:17 PM

Originally Posted by onceinabluemoon

I don't do pudding at all.

I offer fruit, biscuits, cheese, yoghurts etc at snack time so they don't go without. As a family we do not eat puddings and many of the families the children come from don't have puddings either...

I'm the same as this.

**zippy** · 28-02-2012, 10:02 PM

Mine have to eat all their main, unless its a food, I know they're not overly keen on like brocolli, although they still have to try some to ear their pudding. I find if you're strick at the start it saves problems down the line, and you can always relax things later if you want too

**mushpea** · 29-02-2012, 07:57 AM

Originally Posted by buzzy bee

My theory is that if they're not hungry enough to eat their sandwiches / dinner etc then they won't be hungry for pudding... just wondered what everyone else's opinions are.

Am I mean??

nope your not mean,,this is exactly my thoughts,, the only time I differ if its somthing they havent had before and may not like it but like you I think if they arent hungry enough for sandwich and fruit then they certainly arent hungry enough for pudding. I dont have any schoolies to feed at the moment

**jadavi** · 29-02-2012, 08:12 AM

I ask what happens at home.
I don't like the idea if only fruit if they haven't finished as then fruit can seem like a punishment. I agree having to clear your plate can lead to over eating and as someone who has struggled with weight all my life having to clean my plate at home and school set up bad habits of listening to rules and not your body .
I like to make meals quite lengthy. They play at the table while they wait (playdoh drawing whatever) the meal is served and gradually eaten. I often read to them and it's very relaxed . . I don't agree with strict rules - they get enough of this at school . They are all expected to be respectful of rach other and to be kind and cooperative and they have that modellef to them by us and it seems to do the trick.
I do think it's mean to with hold pudding,
For my 4,5 y o who struggles badly witj school and missing his mum
His mueller corner yoghurt is the highlight of the day and it would upset him terribly to be told he couldn't have it. Maybe he wasn't so hungry that day - just like us! Why should children be treated any different?
Sorry to be controversial here.

**Splodge** · 29-02-2012, 08:26 AM

Originally Posted by onceinabluemoon

I don't do pudding at all.

I offer fruit, biscuits, cheese, yoghurts etc at snack time so they don't go without. As a family we do not eat puddings and many of the families the children come from don't have puddings either...

I am the same. It has never been an issue and no child has ever asked for a dessert. We do have a party day every school holiday, where they get party food and they all help to prepare it, but they are not interested the rest of the time.

**jadavi** · 29-02-2012, 11:07 AM

I should amend my comments - of course its not mean, I can see you have the best interests at heart.
What I should have said is I disagree for the reasons given.
Also it is worth checking with the parents as I wouldn't be happy leaving my child with a cm who did this. Food is an emotive issue and presumably is discussed at the outset when 'rules' are covered. A lot of people may be against coerced eating - however mild or well intentioned it may be. Parents should be the judges for their children.

**Carol M** · 29-02-2012, 01:02 PM

Meal times can become a battlefield and not good for all concerned.I offer main course, those that do not want it have to sit and wait for afters. Usually chatter at the table and seeing others enjoying their meal encourages others to eat, if they don't I just take it away and then offer fruit/yoghurt. If a child regularly refuses to eat anything I remove them from table and it's then up to parents to decide if they want their child to eat evening meal at home or send food .
I am trying to follow the new guidelines on portion sizes , although i wasn't far off,to stop wasting so much food. Costs of feeding mindees has increased so much that I would like to ask all food to be provided by parents but know most of them prefer me to do it, but it really puts the pressure on us!
Carol xx

**buzzy bee** · 29-02-2012, 06:12 PM

Originally Posted by jadavi

I should amend my comments - of course its not mean, I can see you have the best interests at heart.
What I should have said is I disagree for the reasons given.
Also it is worth checking with the parents as I wouldn't be happy leaving my child with a cm who did this. Food is an emotive issue and presumably is discussed at the outset when 'rules' are covered. A lot of people may be against coerced eating - however mild or well intentioned it may be. Parents should be the judges for their children.

Don't get me wrong - I don't try to coerce children into eating - I don't believe in making children clean their plates for the same reasons you've mentioned. I don't make a big deal of it. If they want to eat they can, if they don't they don't have to. I just don't offer pudding if they don't - but again, I don't make a big deal of this. I don't say "you won't have pudding unless you eat all your dinner" or anything.