What really annoys me

[JCrakers]

Morning all.

Being a childminder I obviously love kids. DD is 9yrs and DS is 12yrs and their friends are always welcome. My DD has a particular friend who is always around here which is ok for my DD but I do feel angry that they never play at her house. shes here at weekends from 12-6 or later and every day after school.
Now, I know I can say no to her coming round but if DD is happy, I'm happy. The only thing I hate is when she starts getting food and drink for said friend. I've told her not to, so that's stopped.
Also her friends parents ask if I can look after her until 9pm while theyngo out somewhere or can i take her to the sch disco and pick her up to which I say no....lol
She also has another friend who lives round the corner and whenever she calls for her they have to play outside. We've known each other for 10yrs and she's been inside her house twice. So the other day she went round to call and wasn't invited in so had been playing outside in the freezing cold.
Another friends mum was astounded that DD had called at her house without a prearranged appointment...***

I'm fed up with it all being one sided....what is wrong with people..

They play quietly so what do people hate having their kids friends round so much.
Maybe I'm the strange one....

[Mouse]

I know what you mean.

When my children were young, all the playing seemed to be done here. We've got a big garden & had football goals, a climbing frame etc, so all the boys wanted to be here.
Then with the girls, it was the craft & toys they came for. My DD had friends who lived in our street. If she went to play with them they all ended up outside (then back at our house), although the majority of the time she'd call for them & they'd all just come straight back here.

There was a time when one of my son's would have a friend here regularly and when I said I thought it was about time he went home he would say he couldn't as his parents were out and they'd told him to stay here until they got back

[Kiddleywinks]

My DD had a similar friend when she started high school..... here all times of the day at weekends and the holidays. I started to get overly concerned when DD received a text at 10am on xmas day wanting to come round!!!

Thankfully, the friendship 'fizzled out' not long after that (I had other concerns about the friendship, the friend and the family in general)

[The Juggler]

i'm with you! of all the kids we invite over only a handful EVER invite my kids back there

[greenfields]

When the parents were asking you to take to disco etc etc you maybe should have said, 'Oh, you want to use my childminding service, call around and we'll sign a contract'.

It's a tricky one as your daughter enjoys playing with her friend. Perhaps it'll get easier for them to play outside in the nice weather.

[marnieb]

yes, I have had this as well. One friend of ds's was always round here, I'd get calls & txts from mum asking to collect lo from school.... I worked out in 2 years ds had been round there a grand total of 2 times. Last time she asked I said no, and havent heard from her since....

[FussyElmo]

See I think its because of the childminder syndrome. They believe we love having all the children round And why should they have to entertain/feed our children or their own when its our job

[QualityCare]

Both my sons had their school friends round all the time and l was the mum who would always take someone home from a school event, l didn't mind as l knew what they were doing if they were at my house and l knew where they went if they went out, some mums appear to not care where their children are as long as they are out, if l was at the school collecting mine l would always ask if anyone needed a lift and both my boys knew that they could ask if someone hadn't been collected or had to walk, l would never forgive myself if something happened to that child for the sake of a lift and l would like to think that if one of mine had been stuck for a lift someone would help them out. May be l'm in the minority but no-ones parents ever took advantage and the children (friends) themselves didn't.
I would say be grateful your childrens friends are happy and relaxed at your house they could be walking the streets along with your children if they didn't have some where to go.

[JCrakers]

Thanks

Something else I always seem to do is when we are going to cinema,bowling,Alton towers or similar days out and either ds or dd asks for a friend to come, as long as we can fit in the car I usually agree.
Occasionally I will say no as its just family but on quite a few occasions we've been out for the day with a friend tagging along.

Do they ever return the favour? No

I do have concerns for my dd friend. Parents do not care at all. Mum works part time in a bank and finishes before 3pm but still gets someone to pick up from school because she goes to bed......(not ill)
I work 50 hours plus and still have time to have her dd round here

[Wendybird]

My children aren't old enough for this yet, but I can see how infuriating that would be. BUT, there is a reason these kids aren't at home. I was always at my friends' houses, even though my mum was a childminder and we had the kid-friendly house (tree house, big back yard, climbing frame, etc). In actuality I really needed an emotionally safe house to go to - I spent as little time at home as possible as it was such a lonely place to be. I am ever grateful to one mum in particular who sensed my need and treated me as a second daughter. I am better off for her and I am a better mother because of her. You may get some big gratitude someday

[Tealady]

If we weren't out on the street (like children were "back in the day") I was always at a friends house. We were never allowed to have friends back because my Mum didn't like it. Our house was shabby and she was ashamed. Also my parent's marriage was on the rocks and my Mum constantly had the Hump so I wouldn't want to bring friends back anyway. My friends and their families were entirely unaware of this.

Whilst I am sure some parents take the advantage (one of my DD's friends Mum's does), like going out whilst they are at yours which is wrong unless a prearranged playdate witha set end time. You can never be entirely sure what the child's homelife is like.

However, I'm sure I have a lot to learn as my oldest is only six so we don't have the calling round to play scenario going on.

[~Chelle~]

I have had this loads of times. My oldest ds is 13 and he has been to his best friends house TWICE, they have known each other since they were 3!!! He has been here for that many sleepovers and dinners, that I have lost count!

Same with his other best friend, she is always here yet he has been there once for tea! She was due to start at the same youth club as him and the mum asked if I could pick her up and take her home It is a 2 min drive from my house and her house is a 8 minute drive away, so I would have to go out of my way to do this!

Think that people assume that because you are a childminder, your house automatically becomes and drop in centre for all your kids friends! x