Allowing children to eat food in shops before paying for it

**MAWI** · 29-11-2011, 09:11 PM

I don't take grocery shopping, problem solved. I occasionally go to the local shop for fruit / snacks but that's it and it's only a five minute walk, so not long enough to start tantrums. And anyway, they would just be told NO.

With my own kids, it was always not until we paid, If they scream, they scream. They soon learnt to behave at shopping and would get the treat at the end and not while we were shopping. I spent 20 minutes on one particular shopping trip with my then 3 year old lying in the floor, screaming and receiving so many stares!! and offers of help from staff to move her...NO. Needless to say she gave in before I did, she behaved after that!!

**uf353432** · 29-11-2011, 09:33 PM

I think I might be going mad - I mean i've seen posts like these on forums going mad when its a debate on breatfeeding v formula, and other such contentious issues which really stir up emotions like childminder v nursery. But never could I have predicted that to feed or not to feed before or after payment would start such an interesting debate.

I think its absolutely fascinating

**The Juggler** · 29-11-2011, 10:01 PM

black and sparkly, I'm with you. I'm totally happy that some people find this unacceptable and that some people do it but I think that some of the opinions proferred have made those of us who DO allow it feel like the lowest of the low

I also find it a bit Ott to talk about it as taking a risk - a child eating whilst walking or being wheeled round a supermarket is no different to a child eating in a buggy, you are right there and they are supervised

**rickysmiths** · 30-11-2011, 11:43 AM

Originally Posted by The Juggler

black and sparkly, I'm with you. I'm totally happy that some people find this unacceptable and that some people do it but I think that some of the opinions proferred have made those of us who DO allow it feel like the lowest of the low

I also find it a bit Ott to talk about it as taking a risk - a child eating whilst walking or being wheeled round a supermarket is no different to a child eating in a buggy, you are right there and they are supervised

I have to disagree. I think a child eating when walking around is a big no no. We saw a mum giving 18m to 2yr twins a lollypop each and they were walking. Very dangerous as if they fell the mind boggles really. I also think it looks horrible but that me being old fashioned, I generally hate seeing anyone walking around munching. I just don't see the need. If you are so hungry between meals then stop and have something. We would all be a lot more healthy.

The same in the car with a drink cup or food, imagine what could happen if you had to break suddenly? Mind never eat while walking even if we have an ice cream if we are out we find somewhere to sit down for a few mins. In the buggy or a trolly not so bad because they can't trip or fall over the same way.

I just don't see why any child can't survive a trip to the shops without having to be fed. I often take mindees shopping and never feel the need to break open packets and cartons to feed them and they never ask.

**Katiekoo** · 30-11-2011, 12:03 PM

Originally Posted by Katiekoo

I do generally get my dd to wait but if she's hungry we either eat at the supermarket cafe first, quickly pay for something she can eat or I bring something from home for her to eat on the way round. As a parent and cm it really isn't that hard to plan meals and snack to avoid this happening. If she asks to open/eat something (only happened once or twice) we say "no because that would be (all join in) STEALING!" She has joined in with this saying since she was about 2 yrs old.

I would like to add that I have absolutely no problem with others who choose to feed their children from the shelves on the way round, it's a personal choice.
They aren't going to arrest you for it, it's not the end of the world if you take something then pay later, it's a parents choice what to teach their children.

Most people on here are not bashing others opinions by putting their views forward and saying what they prefer to do, BUT a few folks have been a bit judgemental.

LOOPYLISA · 30-11-2011, 12:40 PM

Originally Posted by blackandsparkly

Wow! A couple of things! I'm 42 and my mum used to do this for me when I was little, only the sweet wrapper etc wasn't scanned, but price tapped into the till. So it isn't old fashioned to think it's 'stealing'. I'm shocked as I didn't realise that I was the lowest of the low (and so was my mum obv). I have done this in the past with my son, given him a drink as we were going round and had it scanned at the end. I never thought anything of it. Of course it's not stealing and I find it really offensive that people are saying that. It's only stealing if you leave the shop without paying. You cannot compare it to us not being paid on time! But you could compare it to a restaurant where you eat first and pay later!

And I have worked as a check out op before becoming a minder and never thought it was 'disgusting' when a mum handed me an empty wrapper to scan!

Lastly, it's not about rewarding unwanted behaviour either. Whats wrong with letting your child have a drink if you are on a big hour long shop? So, would it be more acceptable to go and pay for the drink first then carry on with your shop after? That would look even more dodgy, going through the checkout and NOT handing over the empty wrapper/bottle to be scanned!

Some of you have really shocked me today!

Totally agree here

LOOPYLISA · 30-11-2011, 01:34 PM

Originally Posted by EmmaReed84

Everyone is entitled to their opinion. It is not illegal to eat whilst in a shop BEFORE paying for it, as long as you do. It is a matter of opinion. Perhaps we should just accept the fact that peoples views and opinions are different and respect it.

**The Juggler** · 30-11-2011, 01:34 PM

Originally Posted by rickysmiths

I have to disagree. I think a child eating when walking around is a big no no. We saw a mum giving 18m to 2yr twins a lollypop each and they were walking. Very dangerous as if they fell the mind boggles really. I also think it looks horrible but that me being old fashioned, I generally hate seeing anyone walking around munching. I just don't see the need. If you are so hungry between meals then stop and have something. We would all be a lot more healthy.

The same in the car with a drink cup or food, imagine what could happen if you had to break suddenly? Mind never eat while walking even if we have an ice cream if we are out we find somewhere to sit down for a few mins. In the buggy or a trolly not so bad because they can't trip or fall over the same way.

i would never give small children lollipops hon for this very reason. I would only ever give soft food and rarely whilst walking (and usually TO a seat somewhere). I hate children running roudn with food at picnics and parties but my children do eat in buggies. Likewise NEVER in a car, as I can't attend to them if I'm driving and if they choked whilst driving I couldn't get them out safely even if I wasn't the driver. But I think a trolley or buggy is safe enough.

I just don't see why any child can't survive a trip to the shops without having to be fed. I often take mindees shopping and never feel the need to break open packets and cartons to feed them and they never ask.

I see that is your point of view and I accept it, however, I'm of the view that if they are hungry and the trip might take an hour or if I've popped in unplanned then it does no harm - I have never left without paying. I don't ever take mindees on long shopping trips so that's not relevant and my own children are older now but if I had young children I'd do it again. I just think that those who DONT' are being very harsh on those of us who DO in this debate

**leopardlady** · 15-12-2011, 11:41 PM

thank heavens for the last 4 posts!!! I'm not a 55 yr old criminal after all lol

onceinabluemoon · 16-12-2011, 07:29 AM

I dont do it, never have and never will and have managed to raise 6 children to adulthood and care for countless mindees without having to resort to doing it. Maybe I am just lucky or maybe the fact that my own children have been raised to see it as stealing (whether legally stealing or not it is morally wrong IN MY OPINION as the food does not belong to you until paid for).

However, if it does not count as stealing until you leave the shop, how can they arrest burglars in people's houses? Surely by the same principle its not theft until they leave the house (or factory, or other building of choice).

A very confusing law in my opinion...

Also I just wanted to point out that the big Tesco where I used to shop has signs all around the store asking people not to eat before they have paid for the goods and the current (brand new) tesco where I now shop has similar signs stating that they take part in the civil recovery scheme and always prosecute.

DISCLAIMER: please note i am not inferring anybody is the lowest of the low because they have different morals to me.

**angeldelight** · 16-12-2011, 07:32 AM

Originally Posted by onceinabluemoon

I dont do it, never have and never will and have managed to raise 6 children to adulthood and care for countless mindees without having to resort to doing it. Maybe I am just lucky or maybe the fact that my own children have been raised to see it as stealing (whether legally stealing or not it is morally wrong IN MY OPINION as the food does not belong to you until paid for).

However, if it does not count as stealing until you leave the shop, how can they arrest burglars in people's houses? Surely by the same principle its not theft until they leave the house (or factory, or other building of choice).

A very confusing law in my opinion...

Also I just wanted to point out that the big Tesco where I used to shop has signs all around the store asking people not to eat before they have paid for the goods and the current (brand new) tesco where I now shop has similar signs stating that they take part in the civil recovery scheme and always prosecute.

DISCLAIMER: please note i am not inferring anybody is the lowest of the low because they have different morals to me.

I agree my 6 children would never have done it

Our Tesco has that sign up too

Angel xx

**leopardlady** · 16-12-2011, 08:42 PM

My friend is a store detective and says that it is not stealing until you leave the store or go through the check out without paying. This is why they approach you outside the store. Morally stealing would be if you had no intention of paying for it.

**Jiorjiina** · 16-12-2011, 11:45 PM

Originally Posted by leopardlady

My friend is a store detective and says that it is not stealing until you leave the store or go through the check out without paying. This is why they approach you outside the store. Morally stealing would be if you had no intention of paying for it.

Er, it would be legally stealing if you had no intention to pay for it!

Just because something is legal doesn't mean that people believe it is morally right (and vice versa).

Morally, it's up to the individual. If your own personal code of ethics says its fine to eat food before you pay, then morally it's not stealing (because you have the money and intent to pay). If you believe it is stealing to eat first and pay later, then to you morally it's always wrong.

This is why there is no hard and fast answer to this question, and why the debate has gone on for 6 pages!

onceinabluemoon · 17-12-2011, 08:31 AM

Originally Posted by Jiorjiina

Er, it would be legally stealing if you had no intention to pay for it!

Just because something is legal doesn't mean that people believe it is morally right (and vice versa).

Morally, it's up to the individual. If your own personal code of ethics says its fine to eat food before you pay, then morally it's not stealing (because you have the money and intent to pay). If you believe it is stealing to eat first and pay later, then to you morally it's always wrong.

This is why there is no hard and fast answer to this question, and why the debate has gone on for 6 pages!

Thank you! And well said.

**RainbowMum** · 17-12-2011, 08:50 AM

[QUOTE=onceinabluemoon;1024992]
However, if it does not count as stealing until you leave the shop, how can they arrest burglars in people's houses? Surely by the same principle its not theft until they leave the house (or factory, or other building of choice).

A very confusing law in my opinion...

QUOTE]

An open shop is inviting you in to their premises - A locked house is not, the crime is breaking and entering, not at all related to this debate

**vaughny82** · 17-12-2011, 07:37 PM

Plan to go shopping after snack/meal time, or take snack with you, it's hardly rocket science!

LOOPYLISA · 17-12-2011, 07:53 PM

Originally Posted by leopardlady

My friend is a store detective and says that it is not stealing until you leave the store or go through the check out without paying. This is why they approach you outside the store. Morally stealing would be if you had no intention of paying for it.

**stardust** · 17-12-2011, 09:03 PM

[QUOTE=RainbowMum;1025492]

Originally Posted by onceinabluemoon

However, if it does not count as stealing until you leave the shop, how can they arrest burglars in people's houses? Surely by the same principle its not theft until they leave the house (or factory, or other building of choice).

A very confusing law in my opinion...

QUOTE]

An open shop is inviting you in to their premises - A locked house is not, the crime is breaking and entering, not at all related to this debate

What if the homeowner has accidentally left a window open? Its not breaking and entering then just entering.

**Cinderbella** · 17-12-2011, 09:06 PM

Well I think I should be locked up and have the key thrown away, because I have done this

!!!

I have been one of those mums on an hour-hour and a half shop, with 2 small children who has opened a packet of sausage rolls and let my children eat it whilst sitting in the trolley .... thank heavens they never choked as I would probably be in jail now

I have also let my 3yo daughter wear a little headband before I paid for it

!!! How terrible is that !!!

I'm sorry for my sarcasm, I agree that people should have their opinions, but some of the posts have been very judgmental and their has been alot of nitpicking

!!!

I have never given into tantrums but children get bored!! A book from home ... well they are too young to read, they look at the pictures and then where does the book go .... on the floor... who has to keep picking it up .... me .... what happens then.... the shopping takes even longer .... great .... happy children + happy Mummy! How long would one toy hold a 1yo and a 3yr olds attention for???

I dont do it with minded children .... I do not take them to get my weekly shop (that is not what I am paid for) ... In fact I have it delivered now so it wouldnt happen with my own either! If I go to the shops now my children who are now 3 and 6 never ask me if they can have anything or throw tantrums .... so what harm has it done???

Comparing it to breaking into a house and taking personal possessions.... how ridiculous is that

.... have you ever been burgled???

Choking whilst in a shopping trolley , these are no more difficult to get children out of than buggies, high chairs, booster seats etc... and sometimes I may empty the dishwasher whilst the children are eating their lunch, I am still with them supervising them... just as I would be in a supermarket!
I do not allow children to eat in the car or whilst walking around!

What if a parent works full time and cannot just pick and choose when she goes shopping ... sometimes people cannot be so prepared to take food or plan around mealtimes!!!

If you have every intention of paying for the items before leaving the shop then this is NOT stealing !!! This cannot be compared to our fees being paid late... completely different matter

plus the parents have taken the children home, had the childcare and therefore .... 'left the shop!!!'

If you think I'm a thief and a bad mum well so be it ... I wish I could live in a bubble

LOOPYLISA · 17-12-2011, 09:26 PM

Originally Posted by Cinderbella