Allowing children to eat food in shops before paying for it

**Katiekoo** · 24-11-2011, 02:05 PM

I do generally get my dd to wait but if she's hungry we either eat at the supermarket cafe first, quickly pay for something she can eat or I bring something from home for her to eat on the way round. As a parent and cm it really isn't that hard to plan meals and snack to avoid this happening. If she asks to open/eat something (only happened once or twice) we say "no because that would be (all join in) STEALING!" She has joined in with this saying since she was about 2 yrs old.

**FizzWizz** · 24-11-2011, 02:06 PM

Always allow my DS / DD an apple from a multi pack when I do the shopping - makes my shop so much quicker and far less stressful for me. I never let them have anything that can't be paid for and never anything unhealthy. At the end of the day shopping is boring for them and it suits us both.

As for mindees - I have never been in that situation but prob wouldn't as it goes back to parents wishes etc

**JCrakers** · 24-11-2011, 02:21 PM

Nope wouldnt do it and I agree if you tell the child 'No' from the start there wouldnt be any screaming

If you start giving the child snacks from the shelves and then don't one day thats when the sreaming will begin as they wont understand why you have just changed your mind on that day.

I took my two kids shopping in the trolley seat and they were happy as Larry. Not starving or screaming for food. And when we had paid for it we could then maybe have something on the way to the car but they didnt NEED anything.
I didnt see the need to feed them to keep them happy....maybe a book or toy from home would keep them amused but not food

**PixiePetal** · 24-11-2011, 02:34 PM

I did with my own children - only as others said from a barcoded item and as I paid before leaving it was not theft.

They never got into a paddy if I said no and wait till we get out, sometimes I was just being nice and they got the end off the baguette. I carry 'emergency rations'! but even those run out of we are out all day. Being a village bus user can mean a 2 hour wait for a bus if we miss one.

I have also had the odd bottle of water on my way round to take nurofen when headache was thumping and felt migraine starting. Paid of course.

I did feel a bit bad putting a mag back on the shelf after skimming through - this was a Christmas food shop with an hour and a quarter in the queue to pay

they should have laid on entertainment!

I am never in a shop that long with mindees so snacks are in my bag anyway

**chez** · 24-11-2011, 02:38 PM

the thing that would worry me is getting to the til and for some reason my card not going through and not being able to pay for the goods - never happened but could.

**PixiePetal** · 24-11-2011, 02:42 PM

Originally Posted by chez

the thing that would worry me is getting to the til and for some reason my card not going through and not being able to pay for the goods - never happened but could.

I would always have enough cash for what they ate and the rest would have to go back!

**uf353432** · 24-11-2011, 02:43 PM

I don't do large shopping trips with mindee's end of - we pop in the shop and get stuff for an activity or snack etc. but its an outing that lasts less than 20 mins so its fab and exiting - so there has never ever been a need to feed a child from the shelf. I've never done it with my children and so they have never asked. Don't have any particular views about it being particularly good or bad - and if, for example, I had a child who had diabetes and needed sugar NOW and I was in a shop I would almost certainly feed before buying. But unless a child has a medical complaint or I have been rubbish and not provided a snack - no a child can wait until the appropriate time - which is when we get home - because they are not eating in my car either!! lol!

**Louise317** · 24-11-2011, 02:58 PM

I have with my own if a shopping trip took longer then first thought and only from multi packs not loose stuff. I haven't took mindees on a big shop and usually plan my shop visits so after snacks. But if mine are doing it just because they want it then no they can wait. Like when we buy treats after school, mine have to wait till we out of the store.

**The Juggler** · 24-11-2011, 03:16 PM

Originally Posted by bexc

Nope wouldnt do it and I agree if you tell the child 'No' from the start there wouldnt be any screaming

If you start giving the child snacks from the shelves and then don't one day thats when the sreaming will begin as they wont understand why you have just changed your mind on that day.

I took my two kids shopping in the trolley seat and they were happy as Larry. Not starving or screaming for food. And when we had paid for it we could then maybe have something on the way to the car but they didnt NEED anything.
I didnt see the need to feed them to keep them happy....maybe a book or toy from home would keep them amused but not food

mine were never screaming for anything in particular or because they were hungry but they were bored quite often when very little. It wasn't a case of feeding them beforehand or dealing with an 'I want it tantrum' it just kept them busy. I tried books but they often got dropped on the floor and talkign was fine but I was distracted in looking for the good deals and they would be wanting my full attention. i don't allow my children this now they are older but the odd bit of bread or a banana if they were really out of sorts when they were really little kept them happy.

**Cammie Doodle** · 24-11-2011, 03:20 PM

No sorry!!! In our opinion (June & Carolyn) the things are not yours until you have paid for them, so IT IS stealing!!!! Not a good example to set the children!!! If they can't wait until you have finished shopping either give them something before you go into the shop or pay for something for them to eat and then go back in and finish the shopping!!!!!!!!

**rickysmiths** · 24-11-2011, 03:43 PM

Originally Posted by tara_louise1990

If you told them no from the off then they wouldn't be screaming.
If they know screaming will make you put it back most children will actually be well behaved or you could always take the approch of including them in your shopping like asking them to look out for stuff.

It may not be stealing but it is NOT yours until you have paid. I bet you wouldn't like it if one of your mindee's happily helped themselves to the contence of the cupboard and mum's reply was ' oh he must have been hungry, never mind its not like I haven't paid for it'. And you wouldn't just ask mum to pay for it you would probably tell the child off. It is pretty much like taking and asking after in a round a bout way. I think its rude and show a blatant lack of respect or manners.

Well I was beginning to think I was one of the few!

I think it is totally unnecessary to feed a child as you go around a supermarket. What is wrong with the world and where has healthy eating and not eating between meals gone no wonder children are growing up with no self control if we bribe them to be good in this way????

I have never had a screaming child while in the supermarket, in fact usually people come up and comment how good the children are being and how they are enjoying themselves.

I have never felt the need to feed either mine or anyone else's child as we walk around. I was taught it was bad manners to eat while you are walking around. Many shops have signs up asking you not to eat in them.

Also whatever way you look at it the food is not yours until you have paid for it so what message is being given to the children? Don't worry you pick up what you want and eat it or use it as long as you intend to pay for it?

Call me old fashioned if you like but this is a big big no no for me as well.

**solly** · 24-11-2011, 03:56 PM

I never have done with my own kids and never will with them or mindees. I fully agree with others and it really annoys me when people do.

I don't ever do my big shop with mindees I have it delivered at a suitable time, but will take them to the local shop for the odd item that we need.

If I did have to take them then I would certainly plan it that they would not be tired and not be hungry so there would be no tantrums. If they did have a tantrum over something they wanted then i would just ignore it and get on with my shopping, i certainly don't reward this sort of behaviour. And I really couldn't care what other shoppers thought if I had a toddler having tantrum and I certainly wouldn't give in just to keep the child quiet so i could get on and do my shopping

**Nature'sKids!** · 24-11-2011, 04:01 PM

Originally Posted by tara_louise1990

If you told them no from the off then they wouldn't be screaming.
If they know screaming will make you put it back most children will actually be well behaved or you could always take the approch of including them in your shopping like asking them to look out for stuff.

It may not be stealing but it is NOT yours until you have paid. I bet you wouldn't like it if one of your mindee's happily helped themselves to the contence of the cupboard and mum's reply was ' oh he must have been hungry, never mind its not like I haven't paid for it'. And you wouldn't just ask mum to pay for it you would probably tell the child off. It is pretty much like taking and asking after in a round a bout way. I think its rude and show a blatant lack of respect or manners.

I'm not into threatening children to "make" them "do as they're told". They are always included in the shopping too. Comparing a mindees mum raking through your cupboards is a totally different thing too as its a personal space whereas supermarkets are public.

**tinkerbelle** · 24-11-2011, 04:22 PM

i have done it from multi packs iv also done it with a carton of ready made baby milk as my sons bottle leaked all over my bag and he was ready for a feed
i would also do it again if needed i always pay for the items and in my sons case id rather open a carton of prepared baby milk than have him hungry

**suzyblue** · 24-11-2011, 05:24 PM

No! No! No! Its not mine till Ive paid for it!!!!

**curlycathy** · 24-11-2011, 05:48 PM

When I was pregnant I nearly fainted in a supermarket and felt so embarrassed when the kind assistant insisted along with dh that I must drink something - had some bottles of fruit juice in trolley that she made me open. I was so scared I would forget to pay that as soon as we got to the checkout I insisted it was scanned and kept checking it had been

But that is the only time. In my view its not mine til I've paid for it. Never allowed mindees to have anything and never allowed my own to have anything before I've paid for it. Don't care if they tantrum.

It doesnt do them any harm to wait a few minutes. We cant always have what we want when we want it - and it is wants not needs.

Am thinking there may be a correlation with the current debt crisis here....!!!

**jayjay1963** · 24-11-2011, 05:49 PM

Originally Posted by helendee

Thanks for your reply Jacqui

I am only 47 but often made to feel like a moaning old bat because I was brought up with very strong principles of right and wrong.

xx

I'm 48 so we can be moaning old bats together LOL

Jacqui

**cupcake22** · 24-11-2011, 06:35 PM

Originally Posted by jayjay1963

I'm 48 so we can be moaning old bats together LOL

Jacqui

I am 51 & I have joined your 'moaning old bats together club lol.

I never gave my own children stuff while we were out shopping & certainly wouldn't the minded ones either. I known the parents do but as I have never started it the little ones never ask.

Cupcake22

**rickysmiths** · 24-11-2011, 06:36 PM

Originally Posted by Nature'sKids!

I'm not into threatening children to "make" them "do as they're told". They are always included in the shopping too. Comparing a mindees mum raking through your cupboards is a totally different thing too as its a personal space whereas supermarkets are public.

So because you are in a Public Space you can just help yourself to goods that are not yours? But at home in your space you would feel bad about a mum helping herself to a biscuit or banana eating it and then offering to pay for it afterwards?

I don't see any difference in the behaviour to be honest. Both are rude and I think children should be taught that there is a time and place for things. Munching their way around a supermarket because the want to or it stops bad behaviour or they are hungry is not one of them in my books. They are not going to starve if they have to wait until they get home before they eat are they?

**rickysmiths** · 24-11-2011, 06:38 PM

Originally Posted by cupcake22

I am 51 & I have joined your 'moaning old bats together club lol.

I never gave my own children stuff while we were out shopping & certainly wouldn't the minded ones either. I known the parents do but as I have never started it the little ones never ask.

Cupcake22

I am 56 and also one of the 'moaning old bats together club!'

I agree with you 100% Cupcake.