Couldn't believe it!

[Nature'sKids!]

I was at a softplay with my own two kids (4 1/2 and 20mnths) and ds1 was on one of those zip wire things where you sit on a ball and zoom across the room. Anyway, he needed me to push him along to get going but got onto the actual ball no problem, I didn't even think twice about this until another lad came along, slightly taller than ds1, probably about the same age. He asked me if I could help him up onto the other zipwire ball. I said he could try it himself and what followed made me realise just how little coordination some kids have! He couldn't for the life of him get up, he was so clumsy and didn't know how to hold on or how to lift his legs, just no balance or strength.
Made me really quite sad. I tried to explain to him and asked ds1 to show him. He eventually got on but was sweating and totally exhausted. I cheered him on and congratulated him for his effort but OMG... It was shocking
Makes me realise just how lucky I am to be able to let my kids roam free and exercise!

[Twinkles]

Shocking isn't it ?

We so often find that when children start at our setting. The amount of children who are just strapped into buggies and from buggy to car.
Because of our lifestyles today children are kept indoors far too much.

I know we all have to do this sometimes but our mornings are spent allowing children to walk ; through puddles , across fields etc.
Some children moan at first but come to love it after a while and are all the fitter for it.

[rachelle]

My 8 year old would struggle. He has freedom to roam and play and I don't have a car so he's very active BUT he has a hidden disability. People do judge him at places like soft play but he loves going. It makes me sad

[singingcactus]

My 8 year old would struggle. He has freedom to roam and play and I don't have a car so he's very active BUT he has a hidden disability. People do judge him at places like soft play but he loves going. It makes me sad

My kids would struggle too, they get out every day and exercise and play, but they are dyspraxic. Their co-ordination is dreadful, their brains don't support their bodies, there is no communication between brain and body.

They too get judged harshly for no reason. And as their parent I too get blamed for them not being athletic and coordinated - even when in places where exercise is the name of the game like soft play facilities.

Makes me sad that other parents feel because my kids aren't as able as theirs that they can judge mine so harshly.

[Nature'sKids!]

Oh I wasn't judging, I didn't comment negatively and didn't see the mother anyway but i just never thought a kid *wouldn't* be able to do it iyswim? Yeah I totally hmget that there may be disabilities etc, on the whole this kid seemed normal though. I guess it just got me thinking about other situations I've been in where kids the same age as mine haven't been able to (or not been ALLOWED TO!!) do things.
The other day at playgroup for example ds was stood on a kids chair (really low one) and talking to the woman behind the kitchen counter in charge of drinks etc. He spent most of the second half there chatting, driving his cars about etc. 5 minutes before tidy up time another girl, about 6 months younger came up and wanted to stand next to him. Mother came along "NOOOO GET OFF DARLING YOU WILL FALL, YOU WILL HURT YIURSELF! ITS DANGEROUS!!"
yeah, way to build your kids confidence!!

[snuffy123lulu]

Wow you are so judgy of other children and parents. If you plan on becoming a childminder you need to be open to meeting a lot of people with different parenting styles and values to your own.

[mushpea]

had we have let a minded child stand on a chair at a counter to play and they fell and banged their heads how would their parent feel about this or even how would ofsted view this? I do let them stand on chairs to do baking when they are too little to reach the counter but i am behind them and ready to catch them, yes children need freedom to learn new skills and do need to take risks sometimes (mine climb trees etc) but not all parents are happy with these situations and would rather protect them from the predicted bumps and falls.
I am all for natural play and the freedom to learn from mistakes etc but at the same time we have to protect the chidlrne in our care.
as for the boy at the play center maybe he had a hidden disability which stopped him from having the needed coordination,, my son has ADHD and can kick off anywhere,, and people watching an 11yrold having a 'tantrum' when were out must think he's a right spoilt brat but he isnt, his brain just doestn work the same as ours and he cant always understand things.
I can understand what you say about children not being allowed to learn things but maybe this thread will have opened your eyes to the fact that there may be reasons as to why children cant do things and also that you need to be very open minded when it comes to parents views on how they want their children brought up.
I know I have definatly learnt a few things since childminding, especialy about parents views and children that need that bit extra help

[FussyElmo]

Oh I wasn't judging, I didn't comment negatively and didn't see the mother anyway but i just never thought a kid *wouldn't* be able to do it iyswim? Yeah I totally hmget that there may be disabilities etc, on the whole this kid seemed normal though. I guess it just got me thinking about other situations I've been in where kids the same age as mine haven't been able to (or not been ALLOWED TO!!) do things.
The other day at playgroup for example ds was stood on a kids chair (really low one) and talking to the woman behind the kitchen counter in charge of drinks etc. He spent most of the second half there chatting, driving his cars about etc. 5 minutes before tidy up time another girl, about 6 months younger came up and wanted to stand next to him. Mother came along "NOOOO GET OFF DARLING YOU WILL FALL, YOU WILL HURT YIURSELF! ITS DANGEROUS!!"
yeah, way to build your kids confidence!!

Maybe find a way of repharsing this because my son would look normal and would struggle now at 10 to do some things as he is dyspraxic and unfortunetly he doesnt have a sign on his head. I get that you dont mean it to be offensive but how many times I have heard "he looks normal" and i tell them he is just struggles with his co ordination.

Ds and dd 4 and 3 respectively are climbers and the amount of times i get told should they be doing that - my reply is always well you try and stop them.

[mummyMia]

The other day at playgroup for example ds was stood on a kids chair (really low one) and talking to the woman behind the kitchen counter in charge of drinks etc. He spent most of the second half there chatting, driving his cars about etc. 5 minutes before tidy up time another girl, about 6 months younger came up and wanted to stand next to him. Mother came along "NOOOO GET OFF DARLING YOU WILL FALL, YOU WILL HURT YIURSELF! ITS DANGEROUS!!"
yeah, way to build your kids confidence!!

Well I have always been quite laid back with my own kids. Dd especially is a real climber and is all over the place. However, now that I am childminding I feel that I am being watched very carefully by parents and especially the staff at playgroups. Whenever my mindee tries to climb up onto a kids chair there is always some helpful (or not so helpful) parent/staff member who dashes to the rescue and makes a huge fuss over nothing, saying that she is going to fall. I feel it makes me look really bad if I let her do it so now I have had to start being much more careful and not allow her to climb up when other are watching. At home I let her run free ....

I agree with what was said above about needing to be open to all sorts of parenting styles as a childminder. In my area there is not very much demand so I can't afford to be picky and only work with parents who have similar views to me. I have to take anybody I can get!

[Nature'sKids!]

Jt to be clear, this chair was less than 30cm high, with a wide base... Yeah, kids can fall, no denying that but this girl
Could just as much have tripped over a toy while walking... Kids will fall, trip, scrape their knees, bump their heads,... But we can't wrap them up in cotton wool and bubble wrap, stop them from stretching their legs (and wings ) ad letting them try out their abilities because "we *know*" they're going to hurt themselves.
On the one hand everyone is complaining and talking about how our kids are overweight and risking obesity, while on the other hand they're not even allowed to stand on a chair, never mid climb trees, rocks or balance on Walls, all the thins we did when we were little...
I remember, when I was 8, going to the nearby hill in Austria (ten minute walkish?) with bin bags, climbing up the slope, through the forest, picnicking and then sliding down the slope on the binbags on te way back home! Or we went to the stream nearby to paddle and wade to the island in the middle, where we would collect driftwood and build dens with blankets!
Not that I could let mindees walk off obviously but the freedom we had as kids didn't only build confidence but also physical abilities ...

I fully understand how parents are protective of their kids. But it's sad to see that it's sometimes at the detriment of their children.

[PixiePetal]

It is sad but that is the way these days - too much worry about being sued

I used to go to the park 10 mins away from home, cycle to my friends house alone - along main road (on pavement) over railway bridge through some woods and along sea front to her house - at the age of 9 or 10. My only rule was to be back before dark as I had no lights on my bike No way can we allow children to do this nowadays. We also used to play in the woods and make dens our tummies told us when it was home time

[singingcactus]

Jt to be clear, this chair was less than 30cm high, with a wide base...
...they're not even allowed to stand on a chair, ........ all the thins we did when we were little...

Haha, sorry can't get passed the thought that if I'd stood on a chair when I was a kid my mum would have kicked my butt! 'chairs are for sitting on not standing on!' There would have been none of the you could fall thingy, she would likely have just shoved me off it herself.

I do hate the phrase, you will fall, though. It should at least be, you might fall if you do not concentrate.

Do try to remember though that you don't know the background to every event you see, or every child/parent you see. A child might well look like they are a typically developing child but may have a difficulty in one area that you cannot see, or they may be brand new to a particular challenge, or their parents may have different values and outlook on life to you. Every person has a valid right to live their lives and to bring up their children their own way, and as long as the child is not being damaged, then they have the right to not be judged by random strangers. The parent of the little girl could very well be judging you for allowing your child to climb on furniture that someone will have to sit on, and for being around the serving hatch possibly hampering access for the other users, and being next to the scalding hot drinks - if they were serving hot drinks - that another person, who might be somewhat clumsier than your child, could spill onto your child.

[Maza]

I appreciate that you are not trying to be offensive, but to use phrases like 'seemed normal' will be upsetting to some people. I have people with disabilities in my family and I don't think of them as 'abnormal'. Sorry, don't mean to be rude, we just really need to be careful with the words we choose to use. x

[Nature'sKids!]

I appreciate that you are not trying to be offensive, but to use phrases like 'seemed normal' will be upsetting to some people. I have people with disabilities in my family and I don't think of them as 'abnormal'. Sorry, don't mean to be rude, we just really need to be careful with the words we choose to use. x

i did say in the same sentance that i fully appreciate that there might be underlying issues.

tbh i didnt mention it in my original post as it kind of goes without saying for me.
its sometimes hard not to judge (like when you see a 3 year old too fat to get on the bus himself - again, there might be underlying issues, but when you also see him eating chips likelyhood is thats what the problem is)
but we do all judge somewhat, silently or not.
i have learnt a lot just from being a mum around other families in playgroups etc, and i have learnt from "encounters online" that things arent black and white. still, when you run into things that challenge the way you thought or that completely throw what you took for granted upside down, its good to have a moan or an outlet to get over the disbelief.

[Nature'sKids!]

Haha, sorry can't get passed the thought that if I'd stood on a chair when I was a kid my mum would have kicked my butt! 'chairs are for sitting on not standing on!' There would have been none of the you could fall thingy, she would likely have just shoved me off it herself.

I do hate the phrase, you will fall, though. It should at least be, you might fall if you do not concentrate. Do try to remember though that you don't know the background to every event you see, or every child/parent you see. A child might well look like they are a typically developing child but may have a difficulty in one area that you cannot see, or they may be brand new to a particular challenge, or their parents may have different values and outlook on life to you. Every person has a valid right to live their lives and to bring up their children their own way, and as long as the child is not being damaged, then they have the right to not be judged by random strangers. The parent of the little girl could very well be judging you for allowing your child to climb on furniture that someone will have to sit on, and for being around the serving hatch possibly hampering access for the other users, and being next to the scalding hot drinks - if they were serving hot drinks - that another person, who might be somewhat clumsier than your child, could spill onto your child.

http://www.neillneill.com/why-labeli...for-a-lifetime

has to do with the way children learn. From about age three to age nine or ten, children’s brainwaves look like the brainwaves of an adult under hypnosis. When you say something to a child in that age range, it is taken in instantly and without question. The child has just accepted a "truth." These truths are called "introjects."

Parental pronouncements are swallowed whole and become part of the child’s view of the world. This childhood ability allows the child to learn huge quantities of information, attitudes and values without even thinking about it.

If you say "The car won’t start unless your seatbelt is fastened," that’s the truth, until he starts figuring things out around age ten. However, if you tell a child he’s stupid or he won’t amount to anything, that’s also the truth, but that truth could stay permanently lodged in his belief system.


basically, children believe everything you say. you say "you will fall" - likelyhood is, they will fall.

[Pipsqueak]

I was at a softplay with my own two kids (4 1/2 and 20mnths) and ds1 was on one of those zip wire things where you sit on a ball and zoom across the room. Anyway, he needed me to push him along to get going but got onto the actual ball no problem, I didn't even think twice about this until another lad came along, slightly taller than ds1, probably about the same age. He asked me if I could help him up onto the other zipwire ball. I said he could try it himself and what followed made me realise just how little coordination some kids have! He couldn't for the life of him get up, he was so clumsy and didn't know how to hold on or how to lift his legs, just no balance or strength.
Made me really quite sad. I tried to explain to him and asked ds1 to show him. He eventually got on but was sweating and totally exhausted. I cheered him on and congratulated him for his effort but OMG... It was shocking
Makes me realise just how lucky I am to be able to let my kids roam free and exercise!

Shocking isn't it but sadly not uncommon.

So many kids today have no idea how to use cutlery, listen, ride a bike/scooter, run, kick or catch a ball, climb...... I could go on and on.... its not just CLL skills that kids are sorely lacking in nowadays its physical skills.

[Pipsqueak]

Wow you are so judgy of other children and parents. If you plan on becoming a childminder you need to be open to meeting a lot of people with different parenting styles and values to your own.

I didn't see Natures' post as judgemental I saw it more as an observation. I presume you think my post is judgemental too? Its not - its definately an obs that I have seen over the years.

[Pipsqueak]

http://www.neillneill.com/why-labeli...for-a-lifetime

has to do with the way children learn. From about age three to age nine or ten, children’s brainwaves look like the brainwaves of an adult under hypnosis. When you say something to a child in that age range, it is taken in instantly and without question. The child has just accepted a "truth." These truths are called "introjects."

Parental pronouncements are swallowed whole and become part of the child’s view of the world. This childhood ability allows the child to learn huge quantities of information, attitudes and values without even thinking about it.

If you say "The car won’t start unless your seatbelt is fastened," that’s the truth, until he starts figuring things out around age ten. However, if you tell a child he’s stupid or he won’t amount to anything, that’s also the truth, but that truth could stay permanently lodged in his belief system.


basically, children believe everything you say. you say "you will fall" - likelyhood is, they will fall.

My sister drives me bonkers with her scared attitude with her kids.... the kids are now 8 and 6 and they are both scared of their own shadows, the are too frightened to move in case they hurt themselves, the slightest scratch or bump results in them thinking they are going to die and the screams are horrendous, from a really early age they overthink everything - I am so upset for them that their childhood has been destroyed by my stupid witch of a sister.

[snuffy123lulu]

You and nature have a lot in common then I too have many years of experience and grown up children of my own but don't feel I have done such a perfect job that I can make the sort observations Nature has made.

[Pipsqueak]

You and nature have a lot in common then I too have many years of experience and grown up children of my own but don't feel I have done such a perfect job that I can make the sort observations Nature has made.

You don;t feel that you can make observations that childrens skills are dimishing badly? You don't talk to other professionals and read articles that are concerned with this problem? You appear to confusing PC - non pc attitudes and general observation

I am not talking about children with disabilities - hidden or not. I don't honestly believe that Natures' intended her post to come across like that.

I am not sure why you feel the need to make thinly veiled snarky comments towards me after all you have already said that you think Natures' has a 'judgy attitude'.