Lost 'Comforter' HELP

[Pipsqueak]

AND this parent sounds like the typical irrational AIBU type of ***** thread type poster....

[onceinabluemoon]

STOP RIGHT NOW!

and listen to Pip!!!!

Do NOT get rid of the photos of the child, these are your proof that she had a good time with you

Contact ofsted as pip has said, contact your insurance and deal with it.

Be glad you have gotten rid of this parent.

Buy a big A4 diary and call it your evidence book, in future right down everything in this book that happens each day (in breif). This is your evidence for ofsted should you ever need it in the future.

Chin up hunny, all parents are not like this, there are some fab ones out there. xx

[NicoleW]

Okay.

I've spoken to my support childminder and also taken all of your lovely advice.

I've spoken to MM and I'm not sure if my insurance will cover it. I had insurance with the NCMA but I recently cancelled it and I've just taken on MM yesterday, I've spoken to them and they said that unfortunately because it's so recent my insurance won't cover it but they can still give me legal advice.


The mum also stated that it wsa her daughter that told her that I never brushed her teeth, never gave her milk with her cereal and always took her to sainsburys for lunch.

I'm going today to buy a complaints/evidence book, just finishing off amending a few policies and doing a few new risk assessments (I have my first Ofsted visit in September).



So, do I still go ahead with this and hope that it doesn't go further as MM wouldn't be able to take it to court for me? I know it's my STUPID mistake for not getting new insurance straight away. Please note that the days I was out of insurance I did not have any children in my care.


I have a baby starting on monday for their settling in, so that's cheered me up a little

[pinky33]

If is sound harsh I don't mean to I'm fuzzy on mess as hurt my arm.

Been in the same situation and wanted to give in and do nothing but now a better person for fighting it, this is when you prove your a business woman and not a pushover.

1. Write two separate letters
First one explaining she has 14 days to pay what's owed to you otherwise you will be starting court proceedings. Also as per your policy £10 late fees per day will be added, if you don't have said policy then write it.

Second one stating you don't take kindly to threats and have investigated the matter found all claims to be untrue and that you have implemented a policy which states your not responsible for items from home, and that comfort items will be used for comfort only and when not in use be in Childs bag.

2. Wait the amount of time stated, if not given money send another letter stating on whatever the 7th day from letter court proceeding will begin.

3. Go to moneyclaim online pay 30 ish quid and get the ball rolling you don't need to go to court you just fill it all in and voila they get sent a letter. If they don't want bad credit they pAy up with any luck.

If you want more help when I'm not dosed up then pm me I can explain it better
Just make sure you do something about this, you will probably get a visit from ofsted so make sure paperwork is in place and don't worry because you don't need to.

Show this woman who is boss and it's you not her.

Xxx

2. Wait

[Pipsqueak]

Okay.

I've spoken to my support childminder and also taken all of your lovely advice.

I've spoken to MM and I'm not sure if my insurance will cover it. I had insurance with the NCMA but I recently cancelled it and I've just taken on MM yesterday, I've spoken to them and they said that unfortunately because it's so recent my insurance won't cover it but they can still give me legal advice.


The mum also stated that it wsa her daughter that told her that I never brushed her teeth, never gave her milk with her cereal and always took her to sainsburys for lunch.

I'm going today to buy a complaints/evidence book, just finishing off amending a few policies and doing a few new risk assessments (I have my first Ofsted visit in September).



So, do I still go ahead with this and hope that it doesn't go further as MM wouldn't be able to take it to court for me? I know it's my STUPID mistake for not getting new insurance straight away. Please note that the days I was out of insurance I did not have any children in my care.


I have a baby starting on monday for their settling in, so that's cheered me up a little

yes damned right you go ahead with this. you do not NEED MM or NCMA to pursue a claim through the small claims court - which is the route MM or NCMA would take - the only difference is they do it as a legal team whereas you do it as an individual. Many many people every day win in small claims courts which is precisely what these courts are for - the individual.

If MM are willing to advise you - take their advice in wording a letter.... or like I say I am more than happy to help you write a letter.

This parent thinks she can bully, intimidate and scare you into not pursueing what is rightly yours..... she can't.

As to claims that the child has said... if this is the case why has the parent not raised it before? You cannot believe all a child says and let the parent PROVE that you go to sainsbury for lunch each day..... as opposed to you not proving....... as to the teeth brushing - sorry but I don't brush childrens teeth during the day time...... its not a requirement and I don't put it in my policies..... and as for no milk with cereal - well I presume you did!!! so no problem!


this woman is grasping at straws.....
have to say - be prepared for this woman to get nasty (she hasn't even started by the sounds of it) you would probably also not be surprised if you hear she has done this to other provisions and she is honing her talons....(talents) as payment evasion.....

[AliceK]

I agree with Pip about not being scared to go to small claims court if neccs. I have been before, I took a company to court for not paying me. It's not scary and all you need to do is complete some paperwork and send off a small fee to get the court papers issued. DO NOT back down on this, she's a bully, nothing more.

xxx

[NicoleW]

With regards to the claims, one morning we had no milk so we got some brioche and croissants from the shop and a pint of milk which I gave her a drink of when we came back from the school run. As she gets dropped off to me at 7am, she has her breakfast with me and brushes her teeth but after this experience I am no longer willing to offer breakfast regardless of time the child is being dropped off with me.


I'd like to take you up on that offer and for you to write a letter for me please.

I will print off an invoice now for her for full pay for the following 6 weeks, eventhough she wasn't actually in my care but I was still charging her for keeping the space open during the holidays ready for September.

Going to phone up MM again and see if they can email me a letter I can print off so I can send it to her, and I'll pay that £30 if I don't receive payment to get the ball rolling.


SHall I ring up ofsted now and make them aware of the situation so if she does put in a complaint then they already know of it?

[shazsull]

i feel so sorry for you ,have read this over the last few days this would be my worst nightmare.
has this woman a partner ,as if i behaved like this id like to think my oh would knock some sense into me (not literally)
i just cannot believe she feels justified with her behaviour over a soft toy ive lost many lovely things and have been so gutted but stuff happens
good luck xxxxxxx

[madmamma]

What a predicament to be in so quickly and all over a comforter!

Agree with everything everyone's said to date, but would just like to add that from this point forward you need to play your cards very close to your chest, so try and avoid verbal communication, or letting the parent know what you know iyswim..... Ofsted will see it for what it is if she only complains with the information you currently have, if you inform her of that then her allegations could well escalate into something very far from what they currently are.

It has already started - first the comforter, now additions....

Be the professional by writing to her only and send by recorded delivery, screen calls and avoid verbal communications until this is resolved.

YOU are not in the wrong here!

Big hugs xx

[snufflepuff]

I can't quite believe all this! Some people really do shock me!
What does she think she's going to say to ofsted? 'I want to make a complaint about my childminder because she lost my daughters cuddly toy?!'
Best of luck, I hope you get the money you are owed so you can forget all this and move on.
Not all parents are this crazy, I promise!

[NicoleW]

She's saying she's going to complain to Ofsted because I apparently:

* Never gave her milk with cereal
* Never encouraged her to brush her tetth
* Left her to look after my own baby
* Took her to the hospital while my daughter had to have an hip xray (she's 14 months old and can't stand up). EVENTHOUGH I told her prior to this appointment, to which (infront of a witness) she said "That's fine" when she could've arranged alernative childcare for her. Note: We were in the hospital for half an hour if that.
* ALWAYS took her to sainsburys for her lunch.

We went once a week after playgroup because of the location of it, I couldn't walk down to my house to get lunch and then walk back up to school (playgroup was opopsite school) in order for her to get to nursery.


I don't really want to cause more trouble than what is needed, but would it be worth mentioning to other childminders who do the schoolpick up of the situation I've found myself in with this parent? Or shall I just leave it? I don't want to gossip about her as it's not nice, but at the same time I don't want another childminder (potentially new as well!) to go through this over maybe her new comforter that she has.

[LChurch]

I feel for you, I was ill one day and forgot to pack comforter in bag, parents had a rough night, but came up and got it the next morning, I fely awful, we always make sure that it has been packed before she goes home now. Surely mum should be pleased that you had taken her dd to sainsburys for lunch as it is a bit of a treat surely. I know I struggle to do that sort of thing with mine and feel guilty that I don't do it more often. Sometimes you have to go shopping, which would she have preferred no breakfast! I always build in on shopping trips learning things like, can you find a... or ask them if they know what this is esp if they are older!

Obv something is going on in her life to make her react that badly.

[funemnx]

OMG!!! I just started reading this post and at the start I was thinking oh yes, I've done that and thinking a parent wouldn't end a contract over that and then the mad parent went and did it~!! I really think she must be quite mad!!!

I truely wish you the best of luck and hope you get the money owed to you and this crazy mother enjoys being taken to court and made to look a fool because SHE'S MAD!!!!

[PixiePetal]

She's saying she's going to complain to Ofsted because I apparently:

* Never gave her milk with cereal
* Never encouraged her to brush her tetth
* Left her to look after my own baby
* Took her to the hospital while my daughter had to have an hip xray (she's 14 months old and can't stand up). EVENTHOUGH I told her prior to this appointment, to which (infront of a witness) she said "That's fine" when she could've arranged alernative childcare for her. Note: We were in the hospital for half an hour if that.
* ALWAYS took her to sainsburys for her lunch.

We went once a week after playgroup because of the location of it, I couldn't walk down to my house to get lunch and then walk back up to school (playgroup was opopsite school) in order for her to get to nursery.


I don't really want to cause more trouble than what is needed, but would it be worth mentioning to other childminders who do the schoolpick up of the situation I've found myself in with this parent? Or shall I just leave it? I don't want to gossip about her as it's not nice, but at the same time I don't want another childminder (potentially new as well!) to go through this over maybe her new comforter that she has.

I wouldn't say anything to other childminders yet - get it sorted first and play it close to your chest for now. I wouldn't want to her to think you are gossiping - and if she is telling everyone it just makes her look petty. If another CM friend mentions her as potential client, just say you won't go into details but would personally steer clear of her.

[WibbleWobble]

it never ceases to surprise me how people will distort the the truth for their own nasty agenda

during my very very nasty divorce my ex had it documented i hadnt any food in for the children and he had to feed them....

the real story was he appeared with the kids 12 hours early on a sunday morning before i had done a big shop and i had nothing in for lunch or tea yet...i wasnt expecting them until after tea as per the agreement. But he and his solicitor really made a big thing about it.....and i actually felt guilty even though i had done nothing wrong!

chin up chuck and dont let her get you.....she is a nutter of the highest order


mandy xxxx

[caz3007]

I think I would treat this as a formal complaint and address each of her points in a factual way, dont act all defensive, but write her a letter explaining each of the points and what actually happened as you have explained to us.

Then you would be showing Ofsted that you have addressed each of the points that she wasnt happy about. But to be honest, they are all silly things to be complaining about. She sounds as though she has just been looking for things to be cross about to justify her being silly over the loss of the cuddly.

Dont mention it to other childminders unless someone mentions her as Pixie suggested, or it may blow it all out of proportion even more.

[georgie456]

Oh my goodness what a truely unpleasant person she has turned out to be!!! I'm not going to offer any advice because other posters have said it all - KEEP ALL EMAILS!!!!!! (that bit is important!!!)

Just wanted to add though, my first ever minded child ended up being a total nightmare situation which ended with mum doing a runner owing me £600. I almost gave up childminding after because I was so weary and devastated but 4 and a bit years on, I now say, she did me the biggest favour ever. I became MUCH tougher and my business practice improved tenfold overnight.
I know it doesn't feel like it now, but you will one day look back on this having learnt loads.

Sending big hugs and keep us up to date on how it all goes.

[singingcactus]

It's a shame she has decided to pull her child from your care, it does sound very extreme for the loss of one toy. Even when the toy is a very treasured one.
I would like to see you get your notice payment, but I'm sure on here someone has previously said that small claims courts don't recognise notice periods, and won't require payment on them. They were talking about the usual 2-4 weeks payment, so whilst I don't want to add to your woes, I'm not sure you would get anywhere near the six weeks notice you are expecting. I would hate for you to go through this whole rigmarole just to have her win the case and not have to pay you any notice. I think that would be humiliating for you.
I could be wrong cos I've never been in this situation, but I'm sure it's been mentioned on here before about no notice period being ruled in CM's favour.

[Tealady]

I really feel for you having this happen so early in your Childminding Career. I can see why it's making you re-think but do give it a good go with another family first.

I just feel she has her own reasons for getting out of the contract quickly or resented paying half fees for holidays so this was just the excuse she was looking for. I had a family last year who I felt really thought they were doing me a favour by paying me to do my job! They were always trying to wiggle out of paying me when their daughter hadn't or wasn't going to come and have been through three childminders in 2½ years

No more advise to add really but there will be lovely parents to work with out there.

[pinky33]

You will get all 6 weeks as they are fees owed we did plus all 3 months £10 each day fees.
It cost the parent 3x what original bill was. Also insurance paid out as well and told us to use the money to do the court proceedings. So we had a nice holiday to get over the hurt and upset caused by the numerous ofsted visits.