A few questions...(I'm a bit grrr!)

**Noomie** · 21-06-2011, 08:13 PM

I have a mindee (14 monhts) that hits and throws things. Things I have tried / do:
Engaging him in activities (stacking blocks for example today. He just threw them).
Letting him throw things outside (balls).
Say sternly, don't throw things and pop him away from activity (I usually don't like to use don't and no too much but it needs to be short and concise for this age).
Put him away from people he hits and say 'that hurts ___'. Distract him.
Take his food away when he throws it. He eats perfectly but throws things once he is finished.
Remove thrown object from his playing range.

There is probably more things I do but... What else could I do? It's driving me batty!

Next question:
How do I engage a tired almost 4 year old after preschool? Hasn't even wanted lunch the last couple of days. Things I do:
Offer choices of things to do (ie go outside and..., draw pictures, paint, cook, have lunch together). He just asks for the T.V on. I don't mind him having a bit of chilled telly time but I don't want it on all afternoon.

Cheers.

onceinabluemoon · 21-06-2011, 08:43 PM

No idea with the throwing, sorry. But with the 4 YO, pop them up on the sofa with a blanket and read a story, pop the TV on for half an hour and let them rest (this is what I do if they are very tired/overtired)

**Noomie** · 21-06-2011, 08:56 PM

We do put the telly on for him and let him rest. But after half an hour, still no joy with coaxing him to do anything even after this time.

**mushpea** · 22-06-2011, 06:00 AM

with the 14month old I would , like you, just say NO and remove them from the situation,, with the 4yrold,, I would stick the tv on for half hour then turn it off and see what happens, if he gets up and starts to play then great if he just wants to sit on the sofa and chill then fine, he is covering the eyfs at preschool so no need to get him to do anything else really,, prehaps after chilling for a while and seeing you play with the others he will realise what hes missing out on.

**AliceK** · 22-06-2011, 09:08 AM

Re the 14mth old. Could he be showing signs of schema? Just a thought. I would give him some toys that he can throw for instance a soft ball and some skittles etc.

xxxxx

**Goatgirl** · 22-06-2011, 09:48 AM

Originally Posted by AliceK

Re the 14mth old. Could he be showing signs of schema? Just a thought. I would give him some toys that he can throw for instance a soft ball and some skittles etc.

xxxxx

That's what popped into my mind too.
I'd go with differentiating between what its of to throw and where: e.g. bean bags, foam ball for skittles/ target indoors is ok (if it is) and a bigger ball outside.
With the hitting, just do as you are: "no, we don't hit people. that hurts", and move away from the situation.

Re the nearly 4 year old: maybe he'd have a nap and feel energised afterwards? I'd be inclined to let him sit quietly, with tv for a while: maybe a favourite dvd would work better; there's a definite end to it and they're generally a bit longer than half an hour so he'll feel he's had a treat? ... and I'd have lots of things available where he's sitting, like drawing stuff, books, play doh, bendaroos, lego, ... does he like puzzles? would he play simple board games with you?: frustration is a hit here ...just things that don't involve much physical effort. If he chooses not to do them I wouldn't worry or make any fuss about it. You have provided him with opportunities to play

As someone else said, he'll probably join in if he wants to once he sees the fun everyone else is having. And if he doesn't that's fine too. Kids get too little time to sit and just 'be' these days IMO.

Good luck

best wishes,
Wendy

**Mouse** · 22-06-2011, 09:55 AM

Rather than TV for the 4yr old, what about a story CD for him to lie & listen to? I have no problem with children wanting to chill out after pre-school. Some of them really need the rest.

**Happy Bunny** · 22-06-2011, 10:15 AM

I have just ordered a lovely set of book CD's from the book people.
I would rather they listen to these than the TV, if I watch any more of peppa pig this week I will scream.
I even hid the controller yesterday, didn't help that one of my older ones is off school and keeps turning it on.

**love381** · 23-06-2011, 06:23 AM

Originally Posted by Happy Bunny

I have just ordered a lovely set of book CD's from the book people.
I would rather they listen to these than the TV, if I watch any more of peppa pig this week I will scream.
I even hid the controller yesterday, didn't help that one of my older ones is off school and keeps turning it on.

Peppa pig is a favourite in here too, so much so that even my 2 year old knows ALL the words!! x

**gegele** · 23-06-2011, 06:43 AM

i bought we're going on a bear hunt and baby owl with dvd. it's really well done as it's the picture from the book. it's quite relaxing and you have book and he has tv...everyone is a winner LOL.

you could turn off tv when you have enough and leave him to chill.
if he's tired and he has been to pre-school he doesn't have to be doing anything LOL. just let him with books and maybe calm music and he'll join in when ready. well that's what i would do.