Why won't parents let their children sleep?! Advice needed.

[The Juggler]

I abosolutely agree with this. I currently have a 9mth old. They have a sleep for 45mins to 1 hour at 8-9am, a 1-2hr sleep after lunch. They go home at 5.30, having had their tea, they have a bath and are in bed by 7pm at the latest and sleep until 6am.

These parents were so keen for the baby to be kept in routine I drove 350 miles last Sat and Sun to go and take care of him during his parents wedding and for the Sat night. I have had a lovely letter of thanks. One of their friends, who lives round the corner from me was so impressed that she is coming to see me about having her baby because she sin't happy with the Day Nursery she is using.

Parents who do not have a good bedtime routine that they stick to will usually have prolems with sleep. If a child is allowed to get over tired then it becomes harder to settle them for the night. The same with very young ones who are up till 8-9pm watching dvds and being highly stimulated. Its not rocket science.

I hope they paid you well - that is dedication to the job Ricky

[Noomie]

Don't shoot me down here but if a parent is having trouble getting their child to sleep at night then the parent needs to be looking at that childs bedtime routine and rules about once the child has been put in bed. If a 2yr old needs a short sleep during the day then trying to stop that sleep will actually make the child less likely to sleep at night.

Both my children go to bed between 7 and 7.30, they often don't go to sleep straight away but they know the rules about being in bed and the fact that they might be playing quietly or reading etc for another 30 mins causes no problems for us. If a child is not wanting to go to bed and screaming and running about in and out of their bedrooms then the parenting skills need to be questioned in my opinion. Sorry, but I am very strict about bedtime with my children and they have always settled in their bedrooms at night without a fuss.
Sorry rant over

xx

I am not sure I agree with this. I have a very good bed time routine for my DD and am extremely strict with it and bed time, as with most things. However if she doesn't sleep earlier (ie 12-1.30) or for a shortened time if later (eg 40mins-1hr from 1pm onwards) then she is awake in bed for hours after bed time. The first 30mins-1hr of this is reading (yes reading at 2.3 months!), singing to herself, talking with her teddies, etc then after that she grizzles/moans/cries. I am very strict and am of the opinion that it would be folly to let her get up or to keep going in to her so we go in once or twice to settle her then just bear with it. There is no running around and in and out of bed. That is not tolerated. But mostly I just either do the above sleeping during the day or if it has been a long later sleep, I don't bother putting her in bed until at least 9pm. It is not fair on her to be lying awake in bed for hours.

[rickysmiths]

I hope they paid you well - that is dedication to the job Ricky

Have been paid expenses. It was a fab 24 hours to an area I'm familiar with so it was a pleasure and a weekend away. The Wedding was in the garden of the mums parents house, an old mill complete with working wheel. A beautiful setting, they had 2 yurts for the ceremony and reception was a Hog Roast.

[onceinabluemoon]

You could try telling them about the latest study: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-13559462

[Mum232008]

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Childrens...muchsleep.aspx

as a parent i hated it when my children didnt need that nap in the day it was my time to recharge my batteries as much as the childs, its funny how working mums seem to dictate 'rules' like these perhaps its their bedtime routine that should be questioned. grrrr

my sister blames the fact her child (who is 2) doesnt go to bed on my mum (childminder) letting her sleep but if i have popped over to see them it is 8pm and the child still has all toys out no bath and no signs of attempt for bed.

i found with my children they outgrowed them on their own usually cutting down on the amount of naps in a week rather than time ie usually by thursday and friday they needed that nap i would say to the parents that some days are busier than others and THE CHILD NEEDS A NAP suggest that you would see how the child was on the day and agree on busier days to have an earlier nap??

not sure whatelse to say its easier to for a mother to tell the childminder what they must and must not do but i wonder if they carry it through on their days off??

[blue bear]

Need to compromise around what the child needs. Maybe a nap earlier in the day with it shortened gradually?

It's cruel to keep anyone awake who needs sleep, wonder if parents realise what they are really asking sometimes.

[crazyhazy]

I can see it from both points of view, my own daughter is 2.5y and hasn't napped regularly in the day since she turned 2. However, if she's in the car late on in the day she is likely to fall asleep and then is a nightmare at bedtime, so when my mum has her I usually say to try and not let her fall asleep. However, some days she is tired cos she's been up early etc and I am happy for her to sleep I would just rather it was before about 2pm and limited to around an hour. Could you maybe speak to mum some more and come to a compromise of putting her down for a nap straight after lunch and waking her after an hour and see how that goes, chances are with no nap if she needs it then bedtime will just be worse anyway.

[charlie potato]

Don't shoot me down here but if a parent is having trouble getting their child to sleep at night then the parent needs to be looking at that childs bedtime routine and rules about once the child has been put in bed. If a 2yr old needs a short sleep during the day then trying to stop that sleep will actually make the child less likely to sleep at night.

Both my children go to bed between 7 and 7.30, they often don't go to sleep straight away but they know the rules about being in bed and the fact that they might be playing quietly or reading etc for another 30 mins causes no problems for us. If a child is not wanting to go to bed and screaming and running about in and out of their bedrooms then the parenting skills need to be questioned in my opinion. Sorry, but I am very strict about bedtime with my children and they have always settled in their bedrooms at night without a fuss.
Sorry rant over
xx

I would have maybe agreed with this before i had children. My 10 yr old has never been much of a sleeper and has only ever tended to sleep 8 hrs. He has always kicked up at going to bed and been difficult. Always had a set routine but has always still been a battle until he has got older and goes and lays in bed til sleep naturally kicks in. It was quite often midnight before he'd sleep. My 8 yr old on the other hand has always been given the same routine and has always slept 12 hrs apart from when he was poorly for a while.
Every child is an individual and i so wish my 10yr old had gone to bed like a textbook child. Unfortunately nothing worked because he just doesnt need as much sleep and never has. Matchsticks it was for me because the 8 yr old was up by half six. xx

[catswhiskers]

I would have let her go to sleep at 1.30.