Help! After schoolers

[Playmate]

We are at our wits end with our after schoolers ages 9, 8, 7, & 6 all boys. We don't always have them all as their parents are all shift workers and so we have them on varying days, but Oh boy when they are all here together it is h***
They don't want to do anything we plan, they won't do homework, they won't play board games infact anything we suggest is BORING! I have tried involving them in the planning, but they just get silly. We went through a phase where they bought their DS's but this led to arguments so I banned them. The 8 & 6 year olds are sibblings and not bad on their own, but when the other 2 are there thats when the trouble starts. The noise level is incredible because they are not capable of talking they always shout They are at their worst in the garden. We have given up on buying balls because they just kicked them over the fence. I tried parachute games, but you wouldn't believe the strop that caused
We can't even take them to the park as most days we now have more than 3 under 5's so both of us need to be here and they need their tea and pick ups start at 4.15.
If we could we would stop after schoolers, but financially thats not an option at the moment and there are no other childminders with vacancies that pick up from the school and no after school club. We are begining to feel they are having an adverse effect on our under 5's (and US ) which is not good.

Any suggestions??????????????

[mushpea]

how about getting some planks of wood, blocks, nails, hammers etc and (obviously supervised) let them have a go at building somthing or forget the hammer and nails part and give them the wood for den building with some blanketts etc,
are they competive? how about a competition to build somthing out of lego, like a space rockett or somthing
or how about sience type activities like making a volcano out of paper mache and then setting it off with vinigar and bicarbonate of soda.
or involving them in cooking the tea,, each one has a job ie chopping veg, making a fruit salad or simple dessert, laying the table etc

[ChocolateChip]

Don't really know what to suggest, have you discussed it with parents yet?
Would it help to do an agreement, they have one on Bromley that you can adapt, a bit like a home/school agreement. Maybe you could sit down with them and go over your house rules again?
If the friction is occurring when the others are there, could you afford to lose one of the families?
Could you 'stagger' activities so that some have a turn, then the others and in the meantime they do colouring or reading or something. What sort of stuff do you have, all mine are really into meccano at the moment. Know it might be an expense but might be worth it if it gives you a bit of peace!
Hope someone else comes along!

Great ideas mushpea, crossed posts!

[Playmate]

Thanks ladies,
I like the competative idea.We have tried dens before, but it maybe worth revisiting. We will have to loose the oldest one before September as he is at a different school to the rest and we have 2 of our under 5's starting a different school then. We also have their younger siblings so have to accommodate them. So things may improve as dynamics change, although it is the 7 year old that drives me nuts the most, but he comes with his 12 year old sister who is good friends with my dd so can't afford to loose him

[The Juggler]

what about a more permanent den/shed type thing so they can have their own space to play when they get back from school. Often older children won't get involved in imaginary play until the grown ups are well out of sight

or balls on long elastic bands for them to play football with so they don'tget lost

sorry hon, it's hard when they are like this - my own 2 are the worst sometimes. always the ones not listening, picking up the babies the second I turn my back - like a stuck record I am sometimes

but I agree, sit down with them and 'set' the rules, they choose the rules, they choose the consequences if they don't stick to them and the 'rewards' or choice of what to do if they do stick to them.

[caz3007]

I am losing a lot of my older after schoolies in July cos they reckon they are too old to come here and to be honest, it cant come soon enough as things are just like you describe. So sending my sympathies

[miffy]

What about making large scale models from cardboard boxes - the bigger the better or using mod roc or making salt dough and then painting their models?

Or set them a challenge - design and build an obstacle course then race round it, use stop watches to time one another and see who is the fastest; create a poster (any subject they like); use shrink art to make key rings etc.

Miffy xx

[sarah707]

We do a lot of dividing and conquering with the older ones... different groups of children help Nige to cook, read to the little ones, play games in the front room, go outside, use the computer etc.

It's a bit like a military operation but where possible we keep them playing in 2s (3s are the worst) and we make sure they are busy unless collapsed somewhere because they are genuinely shattered (which is fine because then they aren't getting up to mischief).

Our worst moments used to be when we took our eyes off the ball and they galloped around playing chase or hide and seek and things got broken, so we took action to put ourselves back in charge.

It's hard work but only for a couple of hours a day and worth it for the peace it brings us and the little ones too.

Hth

[Playmate]

We do a lot of dividing and conquering with the older ones... different groups of children help Nige to cook, read to the little ones, play games in the front room, go outside, use the computer etc.

It's a bit like a military operation but where possible we keep them playing in 2s (3s are the worst) and we make sure they are busy unless collapsed somewhere because they are genuinely shattered (which is fine because then they aren't getting up to mischief).

Our worst moments used to be when we took our eyes off the ball and they galloped around playing chase or hide and seek and things got broken, so we took action to put ourselves back in charge.
It's hard work but only for a couple of hours a day and worth it for the peace it brings us and the little ones too.

Hth

this is so true and is exactly what is happening to us! I think we work hard planning for the EYFS children and expect the older one' s for the short time they are here to amuse themselves a lot of the time. If I'm honest we struggle with space too. We do have 2 reception rooms and a conservatory, but we don't seem to be able to keep older and younger ones seperated. I think we need to put our possitive thinking heads on, thanks guys keep your ideas flowing

[caz3007]

I must admit my older after schoolies just wanted to watch tv, they dont want to do any activities. I allow them to sit and watch Tv in MY lounge, as long as they respect it and they are happy cos they are away from the LO's. Like Sarah said on the days when I have a third one here, it gets much more manic

[Playmate]

I must admit my older after schoolies just wanted to watch tv, they dont want to do any activities. I allow them to sit and watch Tv in MY lounge, as long as they respect it and they are happy cos they are away from the LO's. Like Sarah said on the days when I have a third one here, it gets much more manic

LOL mine all argue about which channel to watch We have the 2 brothers tonight, they requested this morning to watch a particular star wars dvd tonight that the older one didn't want the other night, so tonight is sorted
Its funny that the holidays are not so bad, I think because we plan so many trips out and 3 of our under5's are term time only it never seems that bad!

[angeldelight]

You are doing a brilliant job but maybe trying a little to hard ? You want everything to run perfect but not much hope with a group of boys that age

Do you have a shed ..... lock them in it

Kidding- seriously though its hard work to keep school age children entertained week in week out - its not like the little ones is it ?

For my boys we had a question sheet - where I gave them choices of what they fancied doing. nothing expensive and nothing to extreme. I need to watch the little ones after all

A few of them did not really want to do much - they just want to chill out after school and felt like they had to compete with each other and was not what they wanted at all.

So now some just chill - some are in a different corner doing what they want to do

Sometimes we can try to hard and kids only want a simple few hours after school

You all need to chill out - or get some ear plugs

Hope you work something out

Angel xx

[nokidshere]

I look after 6+ after schoolies between 8-12 years after school - mostly boys!

Sometimes the noise level is huge but since I don't have younger children I don't rein it in too much unless it gets unbearable

I don't do any planning for them at all, nor do I do organised activities. Generally in the first half hour when they get home they want to slob on the sofa for a bit. Then they normally break off into groups and do things - lego, climbing frame, making up "power" games in the garden. I don't step in at all unless it looks like anyone is in danger of getting hurt. Sometimes they will use the wii or computor. I find the noise levels are much higher if they are playing a game as one huge group.

If they have had a particularly hard day at school they all sit together on the sofa and watch a dvd.

There is only about an hour of playtime before we all sit down to dinner and I make that last longer by initiating discussions at the table or playing "what is your favourite....."? between courses - and then its hometime for most of them.

[Polly2]

How about some team sports, mini sports day, races that sort of thing?

[Carol M]

Two of my after schoolies, siblings 6 and 9 one boy one girl, only want to watch TV.
I have tried in vain to get them interested in something else and I'm afraid I've stopped stressing about it now and given in to the TV! I too have to feed the smalls and these 2 (one of the days they attend) so for the other hour or so they watch TV.
Think we must all struggle a bit reading all your posts.
Carol xx

[Ali56]

Tv is the first thing to go on after school in our house!!
I know that doesn't sound good, but I've found my after schoolies just want to chill a bit before they think about what they want to do. So they have snack, watch t.v. It really doesn't take long for them to go off and find something to do. Generally by 3.45 they are all busy doing something and I'll turn off the t.v at 4pm. Occaisionally someone will be really tired and stay in front of t.v, and then I'll leave it on a bit longer. Its very rare to still be on after 4!
My after schoolie like anything from doctoring each other to colouring, play doh, cars, lego, k-nex, magnetix, playing shops/vets, babies (dolls and real ones!!)I often find them playing really nicely with the lo's whatever they may be doing (so long as it's age appropriate) After tea we get the board games/puzzles etc out, when they are calmer

[mushpea]

we hardly ever have the tv on here anymore,,now the weather is nice I tell them its too nice to put the tv on ,, go and play in the garden for awhile and maybe you can have it on later,, off they go to play and then foget to ask about the tv again as they have found somthing to do,, I do have a wii aswell but cant remember the last time they asked for that either,, mind you my after schoolies are 3 girls and one boy so maybe its just that the girls prefer pretend play etc