another phrase for NO and more

**TRACEY1969** · 10-02-2011, 02:13 PM

I have been looking after this mindee for nearly 2 years he starts school in Sept and i will still have him. I think there are some issues with him and i have spoken to mom about them and i have my grandsons Health Visitor come to mine to talk to my daughter and she has picked up on his issues as well and she agrees with me but the Mindees Health Visitor doens't.
Anyway he always says No all the time, that's the only word i think he knows. He is suppose to go to speach in April and i am encoraging the parents to take him. Every time he saids NO to me which is all the time what would you do and say to him. I get down on my knees and talk to him but he doesn't listern and he wont make eye contact with me and there's no bond between us. I did suggest a nursery a year ago but they were satified with what i am doing with him.

I am potty training him which is a nightmare and i have told parents i don't think he is ready they said "Rome wasn't built in a day". They have tried him at home and i asked for a diary at home as well but he hasn't done anything on the potty or toilet at home either. I have done a policy on this and parents have one.

**Helen79** · 10-02-2011, 04:12 PM

How old is he, 4? When I first read your post I thought he was 2 so thought there wasn't a problem but if he's 4 it does sound as though there's some development issues and he could do with some extra support. If he's not potty trained at 4 and showing no signs of being ready then if I were the parent I would be taking him to see my gp and maybe asking to see someone about it.
I wouldn't be happy potty training him if he's had no success at home.

Does he say no to everything or does he say it in context like he doesn't want to do anything you ask? I would try to stop saying no as much as possible to him and try saying things like not now, later etc. Do you think he might respond to some makaton

**miffy** · 10-02-2011, 04:21 PM

Somebody must think there's a problem (which from what you've said, I think there is too) or they wouldn't be sending him for speech therapy - hopefully that will be the start of getting him some help.

I wouldn't be happy trying to potty train him if he isn't showing any signs of being ready but if he is 4 then you would expect him to be ready?

It does sound as though there is some development delay and parents should be encouraged to try and find out why - there might be an underlying reason such as autism.

Nightmare for you though if parents are in denial.

Miffy xx

**sonia ann** · 10-02-2011, 05:23 PM

how old is this little boy?

**jane5** · 10-02-2011, 05:44 PM

I was going to say the same as miffy, he may be on the autistic spectrum as no eye contact and no bond along with the other issues are some times present in autistic children.

He clearly needs to be assessed and if he does see a speech therapist, they are very experienced at identifying children with additional needs.

**breezy** · 10-02-2011, 05:52 PM

For the second and hopefully last time today I agree with Miffy

**sandy64** · 10-02-2011, 06:37 PM

do the parents comunicate with him sounds stupid i no but he may only hear the words no has he a hearing problem? does he do jigsaws, building drawing,etc can he do them? its such a big area what it could be cant believe his hv hasnt refered him yet, sounds hard work for you must be upsetting not to have a bond after 2yrs

**TRACEY1969** · 10-02-2011, 06:43 PM

He is 3 years and the only child as parents wasn't planning any due to dad being 17years older than mom.
He says NO to everything, he wont join in any games, singing or playing, but he will wont the TV on and he will copy everything that is said and done. He keeps running about my house and when i get down on my knees to make eye contact with him he will look away and keep saying no and sometimes cry. Potty training is a nightmare and i have told parents that i will continue one more week but if he carries on crying i have told them i don't think he is ready but they haven't accepted it.

**TRACEY1969** · 10-02-2011, 06:50 PM

Originally Posted by sandy64

do the parents comunicate with him sounds stupid i no but he may only hear the words no has he a hearing problem? does he do jigsaws, building drawing,etc can he do them? its such a big area what it could be cant believe his hv hasnt refered him yet, sounds hard work for you must be upsetting not to have a bond after 2yrs

He had a hearing test about 4 months ago and passed. He can i must add count upto 20 and say it backwards. he can also point all the numbers out to me in any order and he has done the odd jigsaw but he must do this by himself. He didn't like drawing at first, he doesn't like to put his hands or feet in water or sand or walk in the snow at all. Baking and painting he wont do due to the fact he will get his hands dirty.