Collection time and being cheeky!

**vix84** · 01-02-2010, 01:20 PM

Hiya,
is it only my mindee's that kick off on collection time? I know children play up for the parents more than anyone else, as my ds is exactly the same!
But I wonder how you would handle this?

I have ds 19 months, mindee 19 months and mindee 2 years.
Mindee's are very well behaved with me, just takes a simple no once or twice to stop anything cheeky, but when the parents collect the 2 year old mindee goes running up to the others saying 'push push' and pushes them over, or goes and snatches their toys or hits my furniture with a wooden brick etc. - doing all the things he knows he musnt do.
The parents are quite soft on him, just say 'that wasnt nice' or ignore him banging on my sideboard etc. Mindee went up to the other one the other day and snatched his book, I decided to let dad handel it but he just said 'Are we supposed to be sharing' so I said 'Ah, poor ......... look at his face' and so the dad just stroked his head and said 'never mind, have this one' while his son carried on reading the book!

The dad has mentioned before, after mindee went round pushing over the others that he gets all excited etc. and seemed a bit concerned. I said he never does it in the day, its just a collection thing, and they all have their moments' but Im reluctant to say 'you should discipline him'!

I have before, when the parent was waiting for her car to be looked at, and I knew they would be here for 20 mins, told the child to stop turning my tv on and off, not to push and got a bit firm with him, then the mum stepped in and also said no firmly. Maybe I just need to step in and stop him before he runs up to the others, but sometimes he goes to cuddle them ...... I also dont want the parents to go home thinking that Im being too strict as they obviously are very laid back and seem to think its age appropriate.

I have tried sitting them down doing quiet books at collection times but the minute the doorbell goes they all get excited and start screaming and then the eldest starts the pushing etc.

Maybe I should sit them at the table doing an activity, but then the parents have a battle getting them down from the table!!

**madredann** · 01-02-2010, 01:32 PM

I had a similar problem and used to have them ready by the door-you have to push them out (not physically lol) and once they are through the door parents hopefully take over it seems unfriendly but it might work. Or perhaps try a reward chart they are young my mindees that I had probs with were a bit older.

aly · 01-02-2010, 01:34 PM

my 2 afterschoolies are the same...siblings 7 & 10....they think because their mum/dad are there theydont need to tidy up.

I dont know how many times I told them to tidy up they were 'ignoring' me and listening to their mum...but mum is on my side and knows they play up.....

this happens aswell at pick upfrom school...the younger one will get called by his teacher and then when he notices me he hides behind another child so teacher wont see him....it really bugs me!!

**vix84** · 01-02-2010, 01:47 PM

Atleast were not alone then! I think I need to just be firm and stay consistent with the boundaries, even if they dont listen. The screaming and getting excited I can cope with, its when the toy boxes weve just tidied get thrown everywhere and the parents dont ask them to pick it up, or the pushing.

Will start as I mean to go on and really supervise tonight but try to also distract so the parents don't just hear me saying no as soon as they get in the door!

**carol cameron** · 01-02-2010, 01:54 PM

I find that a firm reminder that" we don't behave like that in Carol's house" helps the children and their parents remember what is acceptable- most of the time anyway. I find that some children undergo a complete personality change at pick up time but " my house my rules "!

**vix84** · 01-02-2010, 01:58 PM

Originally Posted by carol cameron

I find that a firm reminder that" we don't behave like that in Carol's house" helps the children and their parents remember what is acceptable- most of the time anyway. I find that some children undergo a complete personality change at pick up time but " my house my rules "!

Good idea, am also thinking of putting up a house rule list, but dont want the parents to feel embarrassed or like Im singling them out if you see what I mean!

**Twinkles** · 01-02-2010, 02:03 PM

It is a well known to be a very difficult time. Parents aren't sure if they should be in charge , minders aren't sure if they should tell off in front of parents and the children take full advantage of the situation.

If you see them being 'naughty' or silly and don't say anything it makes the parents think that maybe that's ok behaviour and that they shouldn't say anything either.

A gentle reminder of the rules usually prompts back up from parents too.

So if a child takes a toy from another just say 'Oh you know we don't do that ' and make them return it. You will find parents will usually then back up what you say.

**vix84** · 01-02-2010, 02:07 PM

Originally Posted by Twinkles

It is a well known to be a very difficult time. Parents aren't sure if they should be in charge , minders aren't sure if they should tell off in front of parents and the children take full advantage of the situation.

If you see them being 'naughty' or silly and don't say anything it makes the parents think that maybe that's ok behaviour and that they shouldn't say anything either.

A gentle reminder of the rules usually prompts back up from parents too.

So if a child takes a toy from another just say 'Oh you know we don't do that ' and make them return it. You will find parents will usually then back up what you say.

Good point ............ will try that one tonight!