Subjects to cover on my next newsletter....

**SimplyLucy** · 21-01-2010, 09:31 PM

* Do NOT text me between 9pm and 7am, I do not work 24/7

* If your child vomits on my floor then I do not expect to see them for 48 hours, and yes I mean 48.....4 8......got it?

* If you choose to take your sick child to school because your job is more important do NOT expect to chat to me in the playground

* Pay me on time, you'd be furious if your boss paid you late, I have bills to pay, I am NOT working for pocket money.

* Don't EVER even consider commenting on something I have chosen to buy for my house or children, I work hard, it's MY money and I'll spend it as I wish.

* If your child insists on 20 kisses then please do it BEFORE ringing my doorbell, that my warm air wizzing past your ears

*When collecting your child, do NOT ever sit on my sofa and get comfy (only applies to a couple of people)

* Your children are all wonderful, I love looking after them

Well what do you think? I finished on a high note???

Please feel free to add your own comments or inform me if you feel I have missed something important.

**Annie_T** · 21-01-2010, 09:50 PM

just about does it for me hun

i think i agree with you and erm can i take a copy please lol x

**Trouble** · 21-01-2010, 09:54 PM

Please do not sit your child on my sofa then decide to take its muddy boots of

Please do not let your child run riot and empty all the toys out again when the are due to go home

NOW youve got me started

**miss mopple** · 21-01-2010, 09:56 PM

Opened this thread looking for inspiration for the newsletter Im halfway through- not sure I got it

I dare ya to put it in lol

**sarah707** · 21-01-2010, 09:58 PM

Please do not expect me to be happy if you arrive in the middle of tea and your child scoots from the table, disturbing all the other children in the process and leaving their meal half eaten.

Please do not pay me with cheques that bounce. My bank account needs them to stay put.

Please encourage your children to show some respect for the property of others by asking them not to walk all over other children's shoes in their rush to open the door.

Please do not stand at the back door chatting to me about your work worries and the argument you had with your husband / sister / mum this morning when you can see that I need to clear up from tea time and manage the needs of other children.

Please do not get angry with me if I do not answer the phone / door immediately when you arrive. I am probably changing a nappy.

Please inform your child that I find being called 'poo poo head' offensive and stop standing there like a wet dishcloth when they use it, leaving me to ask them to stop.

**Trouble** · 21-01-2010, 10:01 PM

Do not keep your finger on the doorbell as i heard it the first time or let your child play with it

dont turn up early and expect me to be happy

**SimplyLucy** · 21-01-2010, 10:03 PM

* One day I WILL learn the art of saying "NO".....you're gonna get such a shock when that day comes and I think it's going to be soon!

**Trouble** · 21-01-2010, 10:10 PM

This list could be so long

**sarah707** · 21-01-2010, 10:14 PM

Please let me know if you are running late - a quick phone call stops your child from worrying.

Please send enough nappies for the day PLUS spares in case of emergencies.

Please do not ask me how I have got through the last bag of wipes so quickly. Just send new ones when asked.

Please try not to lose the daily diary again. It is a precious record of your child's time with me.

Please remember we go outside every day and while a frock might be lovely in the house, it's not practical to wear outside in the middle of winter, when worn without tights or a cardigan.

**jelly15** · 21-01-2010, 10:12 PM

Please don't be upset that your child doesn't want to go home, be glad they are happy here, you would be worried if your child was screaming the whole time they are here.

Please don't text me on a Sunday night, after your child has been absent for the week, asking how much do I owe you, when we covered that issue a month ago when you signed the contract.

Please don't tell me you no longer want your two year old to have a daytime nap, as you would like her to sleep for twelve hours at night, and then be suprised when she is having the mother of all tamtrums when you collect her.

**Trouble** · 21-01-2010, 10:13 PM

Originally Posted by jelly15

Please don't be upset that your child doesn't want to go home, be glad they are happy here, you would be worried if your child was screaming the whole time they are here.

Please don't text me on a Sunday night, after your child has been absent for the week, asking how much do I owe you, when we covered that issue a month ago when you signed the contract.

Please don't tell me you no longer want your two year old to have a daytime nap, as you would like her to sleep for twelve hours at night, and then be suprised when she is having the mother of all tamtrums when you collect her.

jumpinjen · 21-01-2010, 10:40 PM

Originally Posted by sarah707

Please inform your child that I find being called 'poo poo head' offensive and stop standing there like a wet dishcloth when they use it, leaving me to ask them to stop.

**Carol** · 21-01-2010, 11:14 PM

We could all add a page to your book Sarah, we have only just started

Please do not arrive any earlier than 7.30am !!!! I need my breakfast too.
Please read your newsletter about my holiday dates

More to follow

Carol xxx

**SimplyLucy** · 22-01-2010, 07:43 AM

On the subject of holidays.....

When I decide to take a holiday if I choose to take 1 week then the next Monday as an extra day it's because I want to.

You don't need to question me on why I'm taking said extra Monday.........it's none of your business!

I'll tell you lot though! I'll be flying back fromj Vegas arriving in the UK on the Sunday so I've taken the Monday off to do my washing and have a lazy day whilst my own children are at school. I can then collect my own children from school and take them out somewhere nice for tea because I won't have seen them for well over a week!

**Roseolivia** · 22-01-2010, 07:46 AM

Sounds perfect. Imagine if we could write things like that, do you think parents would still behave the way they do????

**suzyblue** · 22-01-2010, 08:21 AM

Please do not 'forget' your cheque book/purse
Please do not let your child bang the letterbox 7.50 in the morning when your 10 minutes early and Im trying to ignore you.
Please do not make up excuses for non payment, you have already used the 'my dad just died' excuse 3 times.
Please remember non uniform day as I feel like the local monster taking your child to school in their uniform.
Please take your own blooming harvest festival tins to school!

This is fun....!

**RedDragon** · 22-01-2010, 08:28 AM

When I say "No shoes" I mean "No shoes".

No shoes in the house for children

No shoes in the house for parents

Parents, this does NOT mean you can tip toe in a strange manner across my cream rug in your shoes as if doing this strange walk stops any muck from outside going on the rug.

**SimplyLucy** · 22-01-2010, 09:20 AM

Originally Posted by RedDragon

When I say "No shoes" I mean "No shoes".

No shoes in the house for children

No shoes in the house for parents

Parents, this does NOT mean you can tip toe in a strange manner across my cream rug in your shoes as if doing this strange walk stops any muck from outside going on the rug.

Thats a classic......think it should be the quote on the front of the book!

**suzyblue** · 22-01-2010, 10:01 AM

Please do not wait for my bum to hit the toilet seat before you ring the door bell....

**Twinkle** · 22-01-2010, 10:01 AM

Please don't tell me you can't pay me til the end of the week because you spent my fees in the pub at the weekend.

Please don't tell me you can't afford my fees when I know CTC are paying 80% of them!

Please don't bring your child in wellies in the middle of the summer because you can't get her to take them off and then forget an alternative set of footwear.