Subjects to cover on my next newsletter....

[mufftie]

Wow, you're all making this work sound awful. Are parents really the enemy, all the time? I'm sure there is some made up stuff in here, but really if this was how I felt I would pack in the work.

ive not read anything that shocks me ive seen it all , but it is taken with a sense of humur as if it wasnt then yes we would give it up gladly

[mamasheshe]

i understand you are a very important person but please do not ignore my 3 year old covered in "I'm 3 today" badges, i know you had to fight passed the balloons and banners to get into the house.

please don't make a earlier start even earlier for me turning up before 7.00am is obscene.

i understand your pregnant and have to be careful on ice snow, lifting, carrying ect but as you know I'm also pregnant so unfortunately i can help you but will not be able to do it for you.

[ChocolateChip]

This thread is fantastic!
Think all mine have been posted already, we should get together and make a programme of 'Grumpy Old Childminders' lol!

Then make sure all our parents see it

[Playmate]

so Sarah, have you finished the book yet?? you've had nearly a year

I would so love to put some of these things in my news letter, the trouble is the parents would probably think you were joking

[onceinabluemoon]

- 5.30 is the time your child is supposed to have left, not the time you are supposed to turn into my road to collect her.

- if you want to discuss at length the merits and pitfalls of your job and how unfair your life is I would be pleased to listen, however please note that my rates for psychology/psychiatry are considerably higher than my childminding rates and need to be paid in advance.

- when I say I leave for school at 8.30 in the morning without fail, please do not turn up at 8.45 and then grumble and swear at me when i get back because you missed me!

- when I tell you your daughter has been a little toad here today please don't tell me she is fine at home, your husband told me this morning she was a little witch last night!!

- lunchboxes: no chocolate in any form means exactly that, not that you can send in chocolate mousse or chocolate covered cakes or chocolate buttons if you feel like it.

- please do not send your child in with half chewed soggy farley rusk/chocolate buttons/crisps in his hands in the morning unless you want me to reciprocate the favour in the evening

[mummyof3]

This is fantastic most have been covered but will add a few more.

Please do not allow your 22mth old to bring a brush handle into my house to 'play with' because he will throw a fit if you take it off him. YOU are the parent.

Please do not allow the above child to also bring a metal bar to 'play with' because of the same reason above.

Do not send your 2yr old without socks on in winter as 'he refused to let me put them on' again ......YOU are the parent !!!

Please do not send your chunky 22mth old in a coat size 6-9mths that is half way up his arms and too tight. Or send him in slippers as you have 'lost' his shoes. Or send him in a tshirt when it is -10 outside. Or send him without a hat and gloves then tell me its freezing today Or send him in clothes that are at least 3 sizes too small every day!

Please do not send little one with a blanket that stinks so badly then tell me 'its a bit smelly but he wanted to bring it' the smell was so vile I had to leave it outside

Please do not ask me on pick up how he has been as he was up all night with a raging temperature

Please do not allow your child to open my drawers and empty them, pull my sons hair, touch the xbox, kick my dog, kick my cat and then sit there and say 'thats not nice' in a wet voice. He only does this because you do not discipline him he wouldn't do ANY of it if you weren't here!

Please don't send your child with a soiled nappy and say it happened on the way to me - its caked into his bottom and red raw and been there a while. Oh and also please change his nappy when he gets dressed as its bursting and smells of overnight wee!

Please do not just assume I will pick up your child after school on none contracted days without checking if I can. I don't like telling children to go back to their class rooms as I am full then having to spend 10mins trying to get hold of parents whilst I am freezing cold in the playground

A christmas card would be very nice or even saying happy christmas especially when I send home little one with a bag full of crafts and gifts.

Please be careful who you are talking to when you slag me off to a client at the hairdressers for me having one day off sick. Threatening to send your darlings to the holiday club instead of me does not scare me in fact I WISH YOU WOULD!!!!

Ooooo the list could go on and on...........

[mummyof3]

Oh I forgot

Please do not send your 1yr old to me at 8am with a packet of quavers or a shortbread biscuit or a sausage roll (he found in the car ) or a bag of chocolate buttons then say that is his breakfast

Or bring him late at 10am as he overslept and then tell me he hasn't had any breakfast

The above is far worse as you go home to bed after you drop him off

Oh and the classic.......please do not duck down in your car when you see me in the shopping centre car park I have already seen you (btw I am not shopping I am parking there to drop other little one at playgroup just want to clear that up )

[Noomie]

Please send your child with appropriate clothes for the weather. Flimsy shoes and a thin denim coat (no gloves, hat, scarf) just won't cut it when it's -7 outside and is snowing. We do have to walk on these days as the car won't get back up the hill where the school is.

Please let me know well in advance if you're going to be late. 10 mins before you are supposed to be arriving is not good enough and yes, I DO mind as I am going out. You were 1.5 hours late in the end and we missed our lift.

[claire'scherubs]

I am loving this thread and do appreciate the parents that I have.

The one parent, that told me she was shopping so would be late (10 mins after collection) I terminated the contract, not for that reasons but because the child was extremely difficult

[Louise B]

Please do not make your child apologise for stealing from me, then turn a blind eye when she continues to do it!

Please do not promise my child you'll bring all our stolen items back that night, then 3 days later we have to collect them ourselves!

And to the same parent, please just pay up, stop lying about your wages going into a new account, I know you get almost all your fees paid by tax credits, so stop spending it on weekends at Butlins, and 2 tattoos last month!

Don't tell me your estranged husband is going to pay the latest invoice, he is NOT on the contract and therefore has no legal reason to be paying your bills!

Please remember to tell your child what you've told me about their favourite foods, so when I serve up a ham sandwich, he doesn't look at me like it's poo spread!

To same parent, at pick up time, please do NOT bring your younger child then let him run around my house with his muddy shoes on, chase my cat, press the 'start' button on my tumble dryer when it's empty, then play around with the cat flap! He will not only trap his hands, but he keeps locking it and giving my cat concussion when he headbutts the locked flap!!

[OrlandoBelle]

Please reframe from bringing your other child into my house, taking my baby off me and giving her to your 4 year old to hold on her lap on my sofa. She is not a doll.

Please do not stand there ignoring your other child who is kicking my walls in my hallway.

Please do not ignore her again outside when she is kicking my hebe's!

Please do not ignore me when I am telling you something we did at the weekend. I know your weekend was so much more important than mine, but some acknowledgement would be nice.

Please do not make me kiss your child 3 times on the way out when you KNOW he opens his mouth when he kisses and is covered in dribble and snot.

Please do NOT walk through my living room in your wet, muddy shoes and then say on your way out "Oh I'm sorry have I got mud on your carpet?" YES YOU HAVE!! On MY nice CREAM carpet and you did exactly the same yesterday and the day before and the day before that!! Take your ****** shoes OFF!

Please do not text me 5 minutes after my assistant has left to pick up your child to say they won't need picking up til an hour later. I have other children to consider and do not work with JUST your family. Neither do I work FOR your family. I am not a taxi.

Please teach your child that you eat hot food in the evenings after a day at school. A sandwich is NOT dinner. "Oh he won't eat a proper dinner, he only eats sandwiches" is astonishing to me. YOU are the parent. YOU have made him like that.

And last but not least... I have told you every day this week that your baby has had 4 bad nappies a day. Please STOP giving him 5 satsumas a day!! He is only 11 months old!

[tashaleee]

This thread is brilliant!!!!

Unfortunately I can relate to a lot of the comments over the years but would like to add:

Please do not let your child aged 2 arrive eating a sticky lolly - at 8am they dont need one! Nor does my house.....

Please do not collect said child from my house with an ice cream you have bought from the shops and want to bring it inside! (please take your child to the shops and buy it there!)

Please do not let your 3 year old take the largest toy they have to pre-school and expect me to juggle that on top of a double buggy and a child moaning as they hate walking!

Please do not deliver a 3 year old (different child) with no shoes knowing that I have a school run and telling me its ok they can go in the buggy today - err no they are 3, they walk, the baby goes in the buggy and you can go home and get me some shoes (and yes they did!)

Please do not deliver a 3 year old with a massive cut on their face that they did when falling onto the coffee table and disfiguring their front tooth and then never bother taking said child to the dentist

Please do not tell me that a child always sleeps alone in a cot... then I establish they are always cuddled to sleep and you sit there with them in your arms for hours (obviously I have the same amount of free time to do this as you)

Please do not tell me on a Monday you have no money to pay me when I know you have been down the pub all weekend as your car has been parked outside it

Please do not bring your child in wellies in the middle of summer saying they wouldnt wear anything else - I dont care if you bring them in a bag I still want them!

Please remember 2 nappies is not good enough when your child does at least 2-3 dirty nappies a day!

Yes I do need wipes for all the dirty nappies your child does!

Yes I do really mean it when I ask you to apply suncream before you drop your child off in the morning (and if you dont I will happily watch you do it - yes its evil but it works)

Please respect my rules at pickup - when I ask your child to sit on the stairs please back me up rather than laugh at them trying to climb up the stairs or kicking my newly decorated hall walls (current issue!)

Please do not allow your child to hit you in front of me and do nothing to tell them off

Please do not have a battle and a standoff with your child in my hallway as they are fighting you over saying hello - they dont want to, you want them to, and I have better things to do than deal with this (and they say it fine and grin the minute you leave!)

Please ensure you pick up on time - telling me I need to tell you if I have an appointment so you are on time is not how it works and the fact that you are happy to pay extra fees is irrelevant!


I could go on... and probably will another time

[SamBaker]

This is so funny! I really do have to go to bed, must read the rest tomorrow. Probably at 6.15 when parents are late.... again!!!!

[Monkey26]

Please stop bringing chocolate with you at collection time so that you can bribe your child into your car... it is not fair on the other children when you wave it in front of them as a way of getting your child out my house!!!!

[SamBaker]

Please ensure you pick up on time - telling me I need to tell you if I have an appointment so you are on time is not how it works and the fact that you are happy to pay extra fees is irrelevant!


I could go on... and probably will another time

Oh this is sooo true!!!

[sweets]

if you need me to store your pushchair during the day please do not wheel it into my hallway with its wheels covered in mud and whatever else! then go on to say 'oh dear' then rush off to work!



yes this happened to me today



(been waiting for ages to have something to add to this thread )

[loocyloo]

' when i ask you to bring a warm coat for your LO, please don't tell me that as its an inset day i won't be doing the school run , and therefore, won't be going outside, and that i can always put a fleece blanket round LO if i have to go out '

' please don't tell your older child that as its raining i will be doing the school run by car, i won't! we walk! and by the way, your child needs a waterproof that fits! '


( yesterday, and going by past experience, the next day it rains )

[SimplyLucy]

I forgot about this thread. Thanks for digging it up!

My new one.........

I told you school goes back on Thursday and if you need me on the Tuesday and Wednesday then let me know. (teacher mum and her school went back on Tuesday). Don't hammer on my door at 7.30am on the Tuesday, I was in bed asleep. Then don't get stroppy and tell me "you said you could have them" yes, I did say that but you were ment to let me know if I was needed!

Ended up going back to work 2 days earlier than expected, lucky for her I'm skint and the extra £148 is really rather handy!

[OrlandoBelle]

Another one to add from yesterday... Please do not allow your child to break my daughters toys when she only just got them for Christmas and had barely played with them herself! Grrrrr