* Do NOT text me between 9pm and 7am, I do not work 24/7

* If your child vomits on my floor then I do not expect to see them for 48 hours, and yes I mean 48.....4 8......got it?

* If you choose to take your sick child to school because your job is more important do NOT expect to chat to me in the playground

* Pay me on time, you'd be furious if your boss paid you late, I have bills to pay, I am NOT working for pocket money.

* Don't EVER even consider commenting on something I have chosen to buy for my house or children, I work hard, it's MY money and I'll spend it as I wish.

* If your child insists on 20 kisses then please do it BEFORE ringing my doorbell, that my warm air wizzing past your ears

*When collecting your child, do NOT ever sit on my sofa and get comfy (only applies to a couple of people)

* Your children are all wonderful, I love looking after them



Well what do you think? I finished on a high note???

Please feel free to add your own comments or inform me if you feel I have missed something important.