Subjects to cover on my next newsletter....

[maryp0ppins]

'' PLEASE is not a four letter word, and sometimes is very nice to hear, likewise, THANK YOU ''

'' your child knowing the theme tune to every programme on cbeebies gives away that they watch television with you, despite your insistance that they don't know what a television is ''

true on sooooooooooo many occasions

Love this thread, very funny read !!

Please don't ask me "how much is my bill this week".....It's the SAME as every other week you've paid me regardless whether he has been or not

[cabby]

just because your 16mnt old had a wee on the potty it does not mean she is potty trained!!!!! please do not bring her in a pair of knickers, with no nappies or spare clothes

[berkschick]

When I tell you that your DS has been a pain in the behind this morning, sworn at me, hit me, tried to escape, DO NOT tell me "oh he was fine at home". Remember my friend lives next door to you!

Do not send your term time only child (child above!!) to me on the last day of term and say "oh b*****, I forgot to get you something" when I hand over your childs xmas gift to you! I didnt expect anything anyway as you have not bothered for the past 3 years!

Do not ask us to keep younger sibling of child above for an hour longer today. Yes my husband might be off but it is because I am ill and didnt want to let you lot down, he is not off so we can extend your hours while you go down the pub for a jolly!

(Can you tell I have had a morning with one of my parents??!)

[singingcactus]

Wow, you're all making this work sound awful. Are parents really the enemy, all the time? I'm sure there is some made up stuff in here, but really if this was how I felt I would pack in the work.

[mufftie]

this is fab so very true

heres mine

please remember that they are in fact your children and not mine , and i am not responsible for signing letters and paying for trips , school lunches , or providing pe kit at the school they attend .

[georgie456]

* Please stop assuming my reason for living is looking after your child and I have nothing else in the world to do. If you should collect at 5.30pm, 5.55pm, with no phone call doesn't cut it I'm afraid.

* Please stop doing the above every Friday.

[loocyloo]

please remember that they are in fact your children and not mine .

oh please can i put this in my next newsletter !!!



and sending me the text to say you will be late an hour AFTER you have collected half an hour late is not on! maybe once i will believe that you sent the text and it was delayed ... but not EVERY TIME !

[cas2805]

Love it!!!

[caz3007]

Mine currently are

Please dont text me 10 minutes before pick up time to say you are stuck 30 miles away

Please say thank you after I have kept your children as a favour well after their collection time and eventually dropped them back to their dad cos I want some time with my own family

You may consider you child is suddenly potty trained and can come in pants, with no spare clothes at all, but I dont consider him potty trained until he has at least used the potty here for some time (cant get him to use it here, see my other post )

[MissTinkerbell]

Mostly my parents are great but...

*please don't txt me telling me you will drop off after school run just because you fancied a lie in as you are not working today so that I had to miss the carol service at school to wait in for you to arrive

[Beetlejuice]

Wow, you're all making this work sound awful. Are parents really the enemy, all the time? I'm sure there is some made up stuff in here, but really if this was how I felt I would pack in the work.

I love my job, honest I do, but some of the things that happen to me and other minders I know honestly beggars belief.

[Lady Haha]

Please do not drop your child off munching a packet of bbq flavour Discos as we are just getting into the car to go to school. I appreciate that you told me you feed your child healthily when we first met, but I think our ideas of 'healthy' food differ.

Please can you try to pay me in the right money at least one week next year. I find it really difficult to remember whose bills for next week I need to 'knock off' £2.30 or £4.10 or 65p etc etc. It's not JUST you that does it, it's everyone! Also, if I do forget, please don't look at me accusingly as if I'm trying to rip you off whilst saying 'I'm sure I overpaid last week though.....'

Please give me some credit. Don't ring me at 2.30pm to say something has come up at work and can I collect your child today please??? Your child CAN talk and will tell me that you told him at school drop off that I was picking him up today.



Thats mine! My fave from every one elses is Reddragons parent 'tip toeing across the cream carpet in a strange manner' .......which is EXACTLY what I do at softplay

[kel1983]

Haha I have loved reading all of these

I think I have been pretty lucky so far not had any major problems.

The only one I can think of is

*please remember to let me know if your child is not going to be coming to me because she is ill. I dont want to be wasting my time and credit ringing you to find out.

Keep them coming. Definately a good read.

[flowerpots]

Overnight inspiration...

Please do not tell your child to come in and tell me you are skint and can't afford to pay me. I appreciate a conversation with you.

Please do not discuss my fees at home when older children are listening. I find it offensive when they tell me they cannot have a new game boy / go on holiday / visit the cinema because I am bleeding you dry
Please do not dose your child up with pain killers and then turn your phone off for the day while you are out shopping with your mum

Please leave your child's bag when you go, rather than taking it to work with you. My need for it is greater than yours.

Please take the time to look at your child's works of art rather than saying 'oh well more for the recycling then' or leaving them crumpled in the bottom of the bag.

Please do not swear when looking at your bill on my doorstep. Your child is listening.

If you can possibly bring yourself to look at me long enough to notice - sometimes I have my hair cut. It would be very nice of you to comment.

so funny

[Carol M]

Please READ my policies, newsletters and memos. They may contain things that you need to know!!

Please do not text 10mins before collection time and tell me you will be 20 mins late because you are getting the light fixed on your car, the one I told you about last week, thus making me miss a train with dd's going to a concert.

Please do not allow your child to bring toys from home because you can't handle the hassle in the morning, why should I?

Please understand that if you are late I can not wait for you as I need to take 6 other children to school , why should they be late too?

Please do NOT arrive half way through tea time and want to encourage your child to eat his veg, we do just fine without you, if not better!

Please do not ask me why your child is so agressive when you collect and he has punched you, kicked you,smacked you in the face and spat at you and you stand there and do nothing about it!

The list goes on and on
PLEASE Sarah, write a book.
Carol xx

[MissTinkerbell]

Just thought of another...

*please return borrowed clothes as my DD is rapidly running out of clean underwear

and as a follow on..

*knowing that your DD has frequent accidents please send enough clothes for me to change her into - it is not enough to provide me with plenty of tops and NO bottoms

[Carol M]

Wow, you're all making this work sound awful. Are parents really the enemy, all the time? I'm sure there is some made up stuff in here, but really if this was how I felt I would pack in the work.

Just a bit of tongue in cheek
Seems we all have similar issues as part of the job, it's rarely the children, and as professionals we deal with it appropriately
Carol xx

[carol cameron]

Please don't expect me to care for your children when the school decide to close for the day due to heavy snow and then say "I can't really afford to pay for the extra hours...."

Please don't assume that I love my job so much that I can afford to do it for free. After all, you wouldn't.......

Please don't expect me to collect your sick child from school because you have already booked time off this week to go to the hairdressers......

Please realise that my fees are like any other bill and that you need to pay them regardless of whether it is your works night out............

Loving this thread. All kudos to whoever thought of it

[karensmart4]

Please at least wish me a happy christmas, not just stand in my kitchen for a half hour at pick up chatting about yourself, collect your child's bag of goodies, cards decorations etc. and then expect me to help you carry it all out to your car in the snow. grrrr

Happy Christmas Everyone.... see that didn't hurt one bit

[claire bear 72]

I have just been laughing out loud and crying reading some of these!! OMG they are hilarious!
Here are a few more
Please dont tell me your child was sick in the night after I have rung you to collect him when he has been sick all over dining room
Please dont ring me late afternoon to see how your child is!..."he had a temp in the night and wouldnt eat breakfast" no way lol

dont stand in the hallway chatting to other parents/children so that my new kitten runs out!

Classic one "i think he/she has JUST pooed in the car" so first thing in the morning whilst trying to get ready to do the school run, you now have a nappy to change!...parents please dont forget over the years we must have changed 1000's of nappies and poo dried onto the bottom has not just happened in the car on the way here!!!!

please dont text me in the playground to see if I have any cash on me because school have just text to say dinner money is overdue!

after asking for wellies all through winter...next year please can I have some for YOUR child?..and not say "oh i need to get some there to small!