Subjects to cover on my next newsletter....

**Twinkle** · 22-01-2010, 11:10 AM

This should be re-titled 'The Therapy Thread' - it's so funny!

**LeeAnn** · 22-01-2010, 11:47 AM

This is just so funny! I am due to do a newsletter, I have a load if inspiration now

**jaytravis** · 22-01-2010, 11:50 AM

i have no money in my bank £30 to last all week hmmm £20 odf that is is mine and tax credits pay for most of that
and a text tens mins before they arrive z was sick last night so his dad will HAVE to take the whole day off , thats good caus im not having him

**miffy** · 22-01-2010, 12:22 PM

* Please do not ring me 5 minutes before you were due to arrive to tell me your course has been cancelled when I have dragged myself out of bed on my day off to take your little darlings to school because you had "no-one else to do it"

* And, do not under any circumstances, then mutter those immortal words "I don't need to pay you do I?"

Miffy xx

**SimplyLucy** · 22-01-2010, 01:54 PM

A couple more......from my sister who has joined at last! (Simplykatie)

* When your child arrives with a black eye please be polite and wait for me to fill in the correct form for you to sign BEFORE you leave.

* When you choose to send your child to me even though I've informed you my baby has an upset stomach.......DON'T moan at me when your child is vomiting the following week. AND NO I will NOT look after your sick child!

* I know your job is more important than your child but can you at least try and keep that a secret from your child as they find it very upsetting.

* When your child comes to me looking as white as a ghost don't pretend that they are "just tired" when you know full well they are ill.

* Don't act all surprised when I call you to collect your sick child......remember your child can talk and they have told me that you gave them calpol this morning!

**loocyloo** · 22-01-2010, 02:03 PM

'' PLEASE is not a four letter word, and sometimes is very nice to hear, likewise, THANK YOU ''

'' your child knowing the theme tune to every programme on cbeebies gives away that they watch television with you, despite your insistance that they don't know what a television is ''

**Simplykatie** · 22-01-2010, 02:05 PM

3 more.....

* When your sister/brother/friend comes to stay with you with their child how about not sending your child to me so they can enjoy spending time with the other child on your wonderful day out. I know you will still have to pay me but it won't kill you.

* When said sister/brother/friend is down, I will NOT take on their child for the day so you can go shopping/to the pub.

* I will NOT ever go over my numbers "just this once" because you have an important lunch date. My job and the children I'm caring for are more important.

**Jacko81** · 16-12-2010, 10:00 PM

This thread is mint!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**miffy** · 16-12-2010, 10:13 PM

Originally Posted by joanne jackson

This thread is mint!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You're right - it was well worth reading again!

Miffy xx

**Lick'le Oakes** · 16-12-2010, 10:28 PM

Please don't send chocolate in your child's lunch box
Please remember to send your child's lunch box

**cabby** · 16-12-2010, 10:38 PM

have you lot met all my parents

**juejue** · 16-12-2010, 10:59 PM

Please send a change of clothes, so when you little one soils their. I don't have to put dressing up clothes on them.

please text me the night before if they are not coming till 10am instead of 7.30.
I would love a sleep in

Please dont stand there waiting and listening if your child is ready to go. when another parent has arrived to pick up. My hall way is not that big.

I could go on and on

**pinky33** · 16-12-2010, 11:21 PM

Pmsl lol.

Ok here is a few of ours.

"no he isn't not eating because he is tired, he has had food issues every day for 9 months"

"if you have to take their pjs off to change their nappy in the morning why the hell did you not just get them dressed"

"and why did you put fresh pjs on because nappy had leaked overnight, again dress them yourself"

"please don't phone a hour after your child was meant to be here to tell us he has flue, then turn up next day and say no he didn't I just wanted day off work" I'm not your boss.

" it's not our responsibility to grit every rd between your house and mine, so stop telling me that something needs to be done"

" what part of non refundable deposit do you not get"

" please don't say at the end of every day oh you look tired, this is in fact what happens when you start work at 6.30 am and don't pick up till 6.00pm, oh and you were 10 min early this morning so it was infact 6.20!"

**buildingblocks** · 16-12-2010, 11:28 PM

Originally Posted by juejue

please text me the night before if they are not coming till 10am instead of 7.30.
I would love a sleep in

Firstly loving reading this again.

Above quote could have been written by me - probably tomorrow morning. I am up at 6.30am for child arriving at 7.30 no doubt as on previous times will get a text at 8am saying sorry running late and will be there soon usually 9am - translated not at work today but as I am paying you from 7.30 will make you get up so you don't get a lay in.

**Trouble** · 16-12-2010, 11:31 PM

Originally Posted by hazelandannie

Pmsl lol.

Ok here is a few of ours.

"no he isn't not eating because he is tired, he has had food issues every day for 9 months"

"if you have to take their pjs off to change their nappy in the morning why the hell did you not just get them dressed"

"and why did you put fresh pjs on because nappy had leaked overnight, again dress them yourself"

"please don't phone a hour after your child was meant to be here to tell us he has flue, then turn up next day and say no he didn't I just wanted day off work" I'm not your boss.

" it's not our responsibility to grit every rd between your house and mine, so stop telling me that something needs to be done"

" what part of non refundable deposit do you not get"

" please don't say at the end of every day oh you look tired, this is in fact what happens when you start work at 6.30 am and don't pick up till 6.00pm, oh and you were 10 min early this morning so it was infact 6.20!"

amirose · 17-12-2010, 07:56 AM

Please don't call me when you all ready 15 minutes late for pick up and say "I might be running a bit late tonight!

.....

**Beetlejuice** · 17-12-2010, 08:28 AM

Gosh there are SO many I could add to these but my bugbears atm include:

- Don't drive through a foot of snow to get to me when your child is ill because 'he wanted to see your DD' - he spent an hour coughing and retching over my DDs then started burning up and I had to call you an hour later

- Don't spend the day shopping and having lunch with your DH then come in at collection time, flop on my sofa and declare you've had 'such a hectic day' when I've had 5 children including your DS who's been a nightmare

- When I tell you your child has just sat on my sofa and peed himself and he's been trained for a v long time, don't sit there unashamed and ask 'oh darling why did you do that?' in a simpering manner. He PEED ON MY SOFA FFS!!!!!!

- Don't send your child in fancy dress clothes because SHE refused to wear anything else. She is TWO - YOU are the grown up. Alternatively don't send her in moon boots in 28 degree heat for the same reason - I looked a right numpty taking her to the park in the height of summer

I could think of loads more but taking my own kids to school so will continue later!! This is v therapeutic lol!!

**cabby** · 17-12-2010, 08:33 AM

please dont ring me on a friday evening as im running around morrissons doing my shopping to queary and extra 75p on your bill

when it proberly just cost you £1.50 to call my mobile from your landline

**mrs_scottydog** · 17-12-2010, 08:57 AM

Wow reading this thread makes me realise I must have perfect parents!!
Great reading though!

Hx

**tulip0803** · 17-12-2010, 09:17 AM

* Please don't ring me the day before I have your child and say "Have you got Calpol at your house?" I start being suspicious.

* Please don't ring and say they may be grumpy as they have gastroenteritis doctor is querying E-coli. I am not having them for at least 72 hours. (not from me had no seen for a week!)

* Your 16 month old needs more than one spare nappy for a 9 hour day

* When I say no I do not want your cherubs ad-hoc in 1/2 an hour I mean it. I do not want them in 2 or 3 hours either.

* Please dress apporpriate for the weather. light t-shirt & light fleece in snow & ice and 15 layers when their is none is back to front

* I have just spent the last 2 years with you telling me you would be better off on benefits and not doing course - please don't do it this year as I have stopped believing you so it will be a shock if you jack it in.

* No I will not give notice so that I can have your cherub 1/2 a day extra until she starts school in Sept.

* I do not appreciate that your child throws food that they do not want off their plate as you think it is funny at home

* No I do not want to drive you and your family to Heathrow airport on Christmas Eve - I have 2 children of my own and am working and have a 5 seater car. And no DH does not want to do it either (TRUE!!!)