What is a reasonable amount of time to expect a 4 year old to eat in?

amirose · 16-10-2009, 08:21 PM

Originally Posted by Pudding Girl

Do you have a coffee table and some small chairs that you could all sit round instead? Kind of tricky to eat a hot meal off your lap or sat on the floor, it might help, and certainly would make meal times more pleasant, conversation and all that.

They don't eat off the floor?
I have a small table and chairs for the little ones and the older ones eat of TV tables - wouldn't expect the kids to eat off the floor!!!

**Pudding Girl** · 16-10-2009, 08:24 PM

lol not OFF the floor, assume you have plates LOL!

I got confused reading your post, been a long day

**devoncm** · 16-10-2009, 08:36 PM

My mindee started with me like this, she was nearly 5, and at times she would take 2 hours, In the end i wouldnt say anything to her, if she ate within half hour/45 mins she got pudding, if she was still eating id give others their pudding to see if that made her hurry up so she'd get some then id take it away, if she had a plateful left depending what it was and i had left overs in pan she'd have next day, this ive dsone with my kids and the next day i give the others a treat meal like pizza or something -they dont seem to take as long when they have it again

Id just let him finish in his own time, no tv throughout meal and if he takes too long but finish just say meal time finished a long time ago ill save your pudding for tomorrow if you eat it before mealtime ends.

**The Juggler** · 17-10-2009, 08:25 AM

sorry haven't read all your replies so sorry if repeating what others have said.

TV off first and foremost. Sit and chat with them instead.

I think 3/4 hour is enough. I would suggest that if he is not eating it might be unwise to take half off his plate and still allow him pudding (as others might think it unfair). However, you could negotiate a smaller portion size to start with. speak to mum/look at guides for portion size. After an hour take plate away and offer him a fruit maybe and thats it - dinner over.

LOL

**uf353432** · 17-10-2009, 12:53 PM

See I agree with the no TV, all kids sat round a table together is important.

But I never expect a child to eat everything on their plate, if they have had enough they have had enough. If a child doesn't appear to have made any inroads into their meal i'll ask them to have X more mouthfuls - X = age - so if they are 3 - 3 more mouthfuls. I don't bribe them with desert, they are all offered afters and this is normally a yoghurt or fruit. I don't look at food taken in one meal I look at food across the day and get the balance on the day. Sometimes children don't eat alot, sometimes they eat loads. Maybe work with the child to find out what fav foods are with actvities, see if child wants to help cook the food. I would say no attention for not eating and if they don't eat at the meal times then there is nothing else until the next mealtime.

**Chatterbox Childcare** · 17-10-2009, 02:57 PM

I feel that until you turn off the tv and sit up the table fron the start of the meal the child will be distracted and continue to be slow to eat.

I put the microwave on timer for 30 minutes and my little ones get used to the ping. I feel that is long enough and after that time we all get down.

As the child gets faster the timer gets shorter.

This may seem harsh but at school they won't get this long.

**Rubybubbles** · 17-10-2009, 04:08 PM

Originally Posted by DebbieS26

I feel that until you turn off the tv and sit up the table fron the start of the meal the child will be distracted and continue to be slow to eat.

I put the microwave on timer for 30 minutes and my little ones get used to the ping. I feel that is long enough and after that time we all get down.

As the child gets faster the timer gets shorter.

This may seem harsh but at school they won't get this long.

use a egg timer much cheaper

Good luck with the eating! my dd gets 30 mins then it's gone

she has really lost her appitate of late, butjust finished a growth spurt so putting it down to that art she was eating LOADS

**Daftbat** · 17-10-2009, 05:31 PM

Originally Posted by DebbieS26

I feel that until you turn off the tv and sit up the table fron the start of the meal the child will be distracted and continue to be slow to eat.

I put the microwave on timer for 30 minutes and my little ones get used to the ping. I feel that is long enough and after that time we all get down.
As the child gets faster the timer gets shorter.

This may seem harsh but at school they won't get this long.

My friend grandma used to use her microwave as a timer and it didn't do it a lot of good! However hers is an old one - perhaps the newer ones can cope with nothing in whilst its on. The egg timer is cheaper though - no electric

**The Juggler** · 17-10-2009, 05:56 PM

Originally Posted by Daftbat

My friend grandma used to use her microwave as a timer and it didn't do it a lot of good! However hers is an old one - perhaps the newer ones can cope with nothing in whilst its on. The egg timer is cheaper though - no electric

I blew up one in our holiday cottage doing that! I never knew what would happen. I use the oven timer at home for all sorts of things.

LOl

**youarewhatyoueat** · 18-10-2009, 06:27 PM

4.26pm give him is tea,
5pm still over 3/4 of it on his plate so tell him at 5.10pm TV goes off,
5.10pm TV goes off
5.30pm there is still at least 3/4 of it on his plate - throw half of it in the bin () and give it back to him and tell him if he eats that he can have his dessert
5.48pm he must of eaten at the very most 2 bits of pasta I said enough is enough he wasn't going to get dessert because he had taken too long so he said he wasn't going to eat what was on his plate - so that went in the bin too

He just seems to sit and stare at his food, its so irritating. His mum tends to feed him at home

I've just read this again and if that was my child and had been treated like that I would be quite upset. Perhaps its the way its written but at 5.30 you tell him etc I think thats awful. I'm not critisising but I can just imagine what my son would be like at that time after school etc. He would be tired and want me.
I would def have a chat with mum about likes etc and see whether he would be better with a good snack and dinner at home.
I wouldn't be offering after school meals without a dining area, easier to go with a good snack, and you get the idea about the tv.lol
I had a slightly older child who would also take about an hour to eat his dinner but he always ate it all but was very slow I had to put his dinner on the table half hour before my own children as it drove them nuts. It was easier to not offer meals in the end, he had a snack and went home with mum for dinner it was so much better.
Good luck.

**loocyloo** · 18-10-2009, 07:25 PM

my 4 yr old DD is the worlds slowest eater!

BUT a kitchen timer is amazing ...

she has proved to me she CAN eat fast! she just prefers to talk, and talk , oh, and talk !!!

we currently have a no talking rule at mealtimes, as although i like to use them as social times, as everyone sits round the table to either have tea or snack, they were taking forever with the chatting, so until half term we are on 'no talking' ... and then will see what happens! but meals are getting eaten so quickly, and with much less mess!

**Louise_Oaktree** · 18-10-2009, 09:04 PM

It's only my opinion but I think you need to chill out a bit and just ignore this a bit more. Definitely turn off the TV and sit together, I have a small table for the little ones I move around the place so all can sit down together if not enough room on big table, but perhaps he just isn't hungry or doesn't like the food? Not all children will be open and honest about this...

I have a little girl who doesn't have hot meals at home (well not unless you include hotdogs) and we just have a hot meal once a week or every now and then. Other days we will have sandwiches as everyone likes this and they seem to eat them quicker. They can also choose their own filling and help prepare them.

I think you could be making the situation more stressful than it needs to be. I have a 1 year old who just doesn't eat much at all. He would not be fed and only ate finger foods, some weeks he has a fish finger every day but then some days he will eat peas and a couple of forks of cottage pie, now 2 months on he lets me feed him weetabix or rice krispies at breakfast and eats most fruit chopped into small pieces. He still has his fish fingers but I supplement with other nutritious foods too. If he eats it great, if he doesn't then I just throw it away and forget about it. If he eats something new we have loads of cheers and praise and he joins in clapping for himself

Make sure Mum knows he doesn't eat but don't make a big thing about it. As long as you offer the balanced diet if he doesn't eat it it's not your fault.

I suspect Mum may be giving him his dinner once they get home and perhaps it is something 'better' so he is saving himself...I had one of those who got Macdonalds and pizza etc on the way home so hardly ate anything with me.

**mrsgreen** · 19-10-2009, 05:00 PM

i agree with post before, try not to make it more stressful. it will just become a battle. dont even mention a dessert, because your dangling a carrot then taking it away if he doesnt eat it all. so he will just give up trying to do what you say.
if he eats a satisfactory amount, then reward him with praise and a dessert. if he stares at it, tell him it is important to eat so he can play! if he doesnt eat, put it in the bin and say nothing. he will be much more willing if he knows he gets a treat, if he eats it all, rather then get ignored if he doesnt.