I feel really fed up.. mum came shortly after mindee had broken something and so mood was a bit stressed.. anyway.. I asked the mum if she would be able to get a bus pass for me as it really helps me financially as its soo much cheaper.. mum said 'I'm really busy I may be able to do on Monday'.. I said 'well that would be really good as otherwise I've got to pay more and I'm to keep costs down if its possible'.. she said ' well I wish you'd give me more warning' and I said 'I did I asked you two weeks ago but still I've not got a bus pass'... I said it wasn't just about the bus pass but there are other occasional when I buy cakes from cafes, which are chosen by mindee, and then aren't eaten as he's changed his mind.. at times this can be £1.50 down the swanny' and all of these things are coming out of my hourly rate as mum had told me she couldn't afford anymore and today told me that it was my choice to be buying these things and not her fault if I then feel hard done by.. yes!! to this I agree.. but I don't know how I'm meant to buy everyone else a cake (as the other mindee has a day's allowance) and then not buy for the other.. if feels cruel.. anyway, I told her I felt unable to ask her for the money as I knew her finances were bad but that equally my DH was probably gonna be losing his job in the next month and so I had my own financial woes...
She left saying .. if money was the issue then she'd give me some and that on top of this she would pay if I put my hourly rate up.. but the whole conversation was horrible.. I broke out crying .. and she basically told me this was all my problem for not sorting out my charges better.
I feel .. and I begin to feel like this is the end of our relationship .. she told me I hadn't been professional at all and that maybe I should remember we have a professional agreement and so should act accordingly..
the whole thing makes me feel sad.. I really care a lot for the mindee.. and he's turned into my LO's best friend.. I feel like I've everything up for him and am now taking his friend away.
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