Step-mum wants me

**littletreasures** · 19-07-2009, 03:33 PM

I have looked after O since she was 5 months old. She is now 6 1/2. Mum had another baby, her half brother and I also look after him.

Her Dad has remarried and now her stepmum is expecting a baby in November. She said to me on Friday she would like me to have baby when she returns to work in April/May.

Dad/Stepmum collect O on a Wed and Fri. Thurs morning they bring her to me. It's going to be lovely for her to be able to see her sibling every day, but on the other hand it might be quite hard as baby will be going home with Daddy and she will be with Mummy.

I thought about just taking a deposit when the baby is born to secure the space as it will be 5 months from when it is born to when I have it. I usually take a retainer but it will work out as too much money for 5 months. Do you think a £250 deposit is ok with £100 coming off their first month's fees?

**Chatterbox Childcare** · 19-07-2009, 04:13 PM

That sounds very fair to me. How lucky you are to integrate this family

**Tatjana** · 19-07-2009, 05:01 PM

I think you are being very generous and kind, how lovely of you

xx

**singlewiththree** · 19-07-2009, 05:08 PM

How amicable was the split. Being on the other side as such as my ex is living with someone else if they had a baby and they were going to send it to the same minder I would be devastated. As nice as it would be for the children, I think as they get older they might get confused. My children find it difficult when their dad brings his GF kids with him and then leaves with just them. Its an interesting subject to consider but I personally wouldn't take the baby on if I was in the same position just because I think it would be too close for comfort but that is based on my relationship with my ex and obviously theirs might be better.

**claireLouise** · 19-07-2009, 05:45 PM

Hiya,

I charge double time for those hours so think your proposed fee is reasonable. I would also charge a non refundable retaineer of £25 for each week to secure the babies place - this is still considerably less than the income you are losing from not having an immediate start date.

Good on you, we are here for the interested of the children not the adults, they should be able to deal with any issues arising from the two families using the same child minder.

Good luck

Claire

**Trouble** · 20-07-2009, 05:28 PM

It will be good for the child, and if any problems arise youll have to deal with them at the time

i usually ask for 100.00 deposit but everyones different its what ever suits you

hope you are ok ?

Alfie bubble has gone

from his foot

**balloon** · 20-07-2009, 08:13 PM

Originally Posted by singlewiththree

How amicable was the split. Being on the other side as such as my ex is living with someone else if they had a baby and they were going to send it to the same minder I would be devastated. As nice as it would be for the children, I think as they get older they might get confused. My children find it difficult when their dad brings his GF kids with him and then leaves with just them. Its an interesting subject to consider but I personally wouldn't take the baby on if I was in the same position just because I think it would be too close for comfort but that is based on my relationship with my ex and obviously theirs might be better.

Sorry but I agree with this. I'm also a single mum and have seen my kids thoroughly wrung out in a very similar way.

You may risk losing the other children if you take on the new baby. Mum may feel ok about it right now but it may be a very different thing when baby is real and is having an effect on her children.

As somebody rightly said we are here for the children not the parents but it's a bit of a rosy tinted view that all will be well with this arrangement from the children's POV. It could be very hard on the kiddies to have to have this new child firstly have a strong demanding claim on their fathers time and love and then on their childminders time and love. It could do them more harm than good...

I get on very well with my ex and his partner so have no gripe that way, just think there are 2 sides to look at...

have you talked to mum of the first children about it? How does she feel?

**littletreasures** · 20-07-2009, 08:28 PM

Haven't spoken to first Mum yet. Want to get the contract/fee increase sorted out with her before I broach this subject.

Before step-mum talked to me last week, O had already said when talking about the new baby coming that it was coming to me because Daddy and stepmum don't want to go to 2 different places, so I think they have spoken to her about it. They are very open and explain and discuss everything with her.

**littletreasures** · 20-07-2009, 08:30 PM

Originally Posted by rascal

It will be good for the child, and if any problems arise youll have to deal with them at the time

i usually ask for 100.00 deposit but everyones different its what ever suits you

hope you are ok ?

Alfie bubble has gone

from his foot

Rascal, I'm fine.

Good news on Alfie's foot. Guess what I found when I was sorting out dog's box on medicines, brushes etc. A doggy boot for keeping bandages clean!!!! I think my Dad must have given it to me when his dog died, they had used it when she had an op.