Am I over reacting?

[twise]

Ladies (and Gents) I would very much appreciate your advice.

I met with a potential mind yesterday who has two kids blah de blah. Anyway we were talking as you do and found out we are into the same music and are infact going to see the same band in the summer, I happened to mention that my hubby is studying for a degree in music at the mo and he is in a band and had been told he looks like one of the musicians we are going to see (you know what men are like one woman says gosh you look like so and so and they come back and say that All women say they look like him ).

Anyway I ended up giving her my hubbies band website so she could have a look. We finished the meeting agreeing for her to bring the kids round to meet me this Friday.

A couple of hours later she phoned me back and said she had to ask me somerhing very sensative...Did I smoke? i said no i had given up two years and 2 stone a go but my hubby does smoke but not in the house ever and he is at college when the children are here.

She then lauched into a tirade of she is aware my hubby smokes because there is a picture on his bands website of him smoking a joint..i was gobsmacked and explained that actually they are roll up cigarettes not joints.

She told me that she did not believe me because no roll ups are that big I explained that yes they are when you use kingsized papers.She then said she would be concerned to have her children near someone who smokes drugs. I again calmly told her that I would be too but as I had pointed out they are roll up cigarettes my husband doesn't do and never has done drugs.

She then again said that she is concerened because she knows people in a band who all do drugs!! I then lost the plot AND WHEN COMPLETELY BONKERS telling her that she was beeing very presumptious and how dare she automatically jump to conclusions and then have the cheek to tell me I am lying

After about five mins of me ranting she then started to laugh and said oh Im so glad you reacted like that I'm sorry if I offended you will it still be ok to come round with her hubby and kids on Friday

I like a fool said ok. When I came off the phone I promptly burst into tears (I'm PMT at the moment even a James Blunt song makes me weep and that story on here about the Wooden Bowl...) I told my hubby what had happened and he went bananas telling me I should have told her no its not ok.

I have slept on it and I have to admit that I seem to be getting angrier the more I think about it and am concerned that she might be the type of person that jumps first and thinks later.

Am I over reacting

Tracy
X

[Rubybubbles]

in a word NO, good grief I would be too

How dare she do that and see what your reaction was

Not sure what to tell u to do but sending

[berkschick]

I too would be

Poor you!

I would feel very insulted.

[twise]

Thank you all hugs gratefully received...it's the wrong time of the month for me to deal with this type of person. Thank god it was on the phone and not in person


Tracy

[angeldelight]

What a weird person

Well I am into music a lot too and my daughter in laws brother is in a rock band so I know how you feel about this because he has never taken drugs either - people should not judge

I can maybe understand her concern at first but not sure why she wanted you to react how you did
If I was going to ask someone the questions that she asked you I would have done it face to face to see what I was up against anyway not through a phone call

Seems a bit weird that she still wanted to come after knowing she had obviously wound you up and upset you

Not sure about this one

Hugs to you

Angel xx

[sarah707]

Do you think you can work with someone who talks to you like that and disbelieves what you say?

What about when her child bumps his head tripping up and she doesn't believe you?

What about when she rings one night and says - what's going on? He smells of smoke...

Sorry but I think you need to think very seriuosly about it...

[angeldelight]

Haha and there was me thinking it would have been better in person

She obviously did not have the bottle anyway that is why she asked you on the phone

Maybe she was being honest with you and really was worried - bands or whatever always do get a bad reputation dont they its part and package of their jobs however much we think it is wrong

I just think she went about it the wrong way and should not have practically called you a liar
How rude is she

Not sure I would want to do this you might be constantly looking over your shoulder and be very unsure of her now

Angel xx

[Rubybubbles]

Do you think you can work with someone who talks to you like that and disbelieves what you say?

What about when her child bumps his head tripping up and she doesn't believe you?

What about when she rings one night and says - what's going on? He smells of smoke...

Sorry but I think you need to think very seriuosly about it...

I agree with Sarah TBH

[mrsbumbles]

Oh poor you how awful!!

No i would not have her and her husband round to visit me,the cheek of her!!!

I would be straight on the phone to her tomorrow and tell her i had filled the vacancy and be done with it, i wouldnt want her to step one foot inside my house again with that atitude, the nerve of some people really!!!

[twise]

Sarah you have hit the nail on the head.....thats my concern that every little thing is going to be looked at under a microscope and I'm going to be treading on eggshells.

Angel you are right she went about it the wrong way but it was the fact that she didn't listen on the numerous times I had told her.

Maybe I'll see what she has to say on Friday..I wouldn't mind but my husband is here as he is on half term and as I said previously he is not amused ...should be fun

Flipping Parents

[Pipsqueak]

That was downright nasty and no you are NOT over reacting, I would say goodbye to them. Anyone who can do that, "test" you in that manner and make accusations that if overheard could be take seriously is totally out of order.

I would be so mad, I would also point out that your husband and the band are thinking of sueing for defamation of character (get your own back!)

[wendywu]

Sounds like she was the one on drugs!

[Banana]

If it was me.... I would have told her in no uncertain terms where to go!!!

x

[twise]

Thank you all for your advice and letting me vent. I'll let you know how I get on Friday


Good night all...sweet dreams


TracyX

[emler]

Personally I wouldn't want anything to do with the parents after that little "test". Good for you for giving them a chance on Friday - good luck with the meeting & let us know how it goes

Emler x

[Pipsqueak]

Emler what on earth where you doing up and posting at 3.36am!!

Twise you are a better person that I am giving them a second chance!

[emler]

I couldn't sleep Vik. I've been awake since 2am and I'm soooo tired now. Wish I could go back to sleep but I have 2 mindees arriving soon.

Emler x

[miffy]

What a wierd and strange thing to do

Personally I wouldn't be seeing this person on friday I would tell her i didn't like the way she behaved and that I wasn't joking!

Good for you though if you can give her a second chance and I hope it works out for you

Emler - sorry you had a bad night hope you are OK

Miffy xx

[emler]

I'm fine thanks Miffy - will be having a cheeky wee nap this afternoon I think

Emler x

[flora]

Do you think you can work with someone who talks to you like that and disbelieves what you say?

What about when her child bumps his head tripping up and she doesn't believe you?

What about when she rings one night and says - what's going on? He smells of smoke...

Sorry but I think you need to think very seriuosly about it...

Im with Sarah on this one. Looking after someones kids relies on a really good working relationship and trust. How do you go forward? Not sure If I could. Trust your instincts, they are usually right. Sending big hugs to fellow pmt sufferer too