which would you take away if child is naughty?

**Jules27** · 24-03-2009, 09:46 AM

ok, have had to agree to disagree with my best friend on this one. If her daughter has been very naughty she has her bedtime story with drawn. Personally I would take a toy away and put in a 'naughty' box until she earnt it back, thats what I do with my son. My friend says its coz her mum says a bedtime story is a luxury/privlidge????

I think a bedtime story is ESSENTIAL for a young child not a luxury or a privilidge! Opinions please!!! Which would you do?????

**Andrea08** · 24-03-2009, 10:02 AM

i never missed a bed time moment with my lo's there are different punishments for different acts its getting it right for each child as we know they are all different..

bedtime is a time to make up and love each not punishments

**Roseolivia** · 24-03-2009, 10:09 AM

I'd take a toy away

**Polka Dots** · 24-03-2009, 10:10 AM

I agree with you Jules.

**Pedagog** · 24-03-2009, 10:14 AM

Playing devils advocate here, it is possible that this child has no attachment to any toys, either because they have so many or because like my son they do form attachments to items. You could take all my sons toys away and he wouldn't care, but touch his books.

LOOPYLISA · 24-03-2009, 10:15 AM

I would take a toy away too, i never go to bed cross with my dd , always try and make up

**charleyfarley** · 24-03-2009, 10:17 AM

I would take a toy away too, never a story at bedtime

Carol xx

**anneriddington** · 24-03-2009, 10:30 AM

When my son was little we never had story time in bed, I found he didnt settle if we did. I had story time before he went and had a bath or got ready for bed. Having a story while he was in bed always made time to close the book and settle down difficult for him.

I know what the mum means though about removing a toy, I could with hold any toy and he wouldnt be too bothered, I always had to find an alternative for of sanction

**mabel** · 24-03-2009, 10:32 AM

if the have been naughty it needs to be addressed at the time, what if they are naughty at 9am, bedtime is a long time away,
I just address this situation with communication I have never deprived the child of anything, talk is the best answer for me and it works.

........after a sorry and a cuddle, everything is fine, this method has working for me and is still working with my 19 and 17 year old sons now

**marion123** · 24-03-2009, 10:39 AM

i would of taken the toy away never a bed time story

**Playmate** · 24-03-2009, 10:56 AM

Originally Posted by mabel

if the have been naughty it needs to be addressed at the time, what if they are naughty at 9am, bedtime is a long time away,
I just address this situation with communication I have never deprived the child of anything, talk is the best answer for me and it works.

........after a sorry and a cuddle, everything is fine, this method has working for me and is still working with my 19 and 17 year old sons now

I quite agree, my children are 17,13 and 9 I'm only now restricting privileges with my teenagers as a last resort (and that has only happended once) I always used time out with my own and my mindees and even though I say it myself I think all of the children I have cared for over the years were well behaved.

**Noodles** · 24-03-2009, 11:09 AM

Originally Posted by mabel

if the have been naughty it needs to be addressed at the time, what if they are naughty at 9am, bedtime is a long time away,
I just address this situation with communication I have never deprived the child of anything, talk is the best answer for me and it works.

........after a sorry and a cuddle, everything is fine, this method has working for me and is still working with my 19 and 17 year old sons now

i agree with the above too i have never deprived my children of anything be it toys or privilages as i do not believe this solves problems.
Another think i strongly disagree with is sending a child to their room when they are naughty.
My children have always known their bedrooms as nice cosy rooms where they can go and relax, play or enjoy their sleep not the nasty room they are sent to when they are naughty

**mum22** · 24-03-2009, 11:11 AM

I'm with Mabel on this one

**huggableshelly** · 24-03-2009, 12:04 PM

I used to use time out but now i use a penny jar.

my own kiddies love this idea, i saw it on supernanny ages ago.

everytime they are well behaved they get 10 pennies .. well now they are older they get a 10p or 5p's

on days when they have been not so good they do not get their coins, this seems to really effect my son, my daughter has gotten to the stage where she just shrugs her shoulders so next setp is to remove a 5p from her jar but hoping not to get to that stage.

taking a toy from my kiddies wouldnt have any effect as they have too many.
removing bedtime story deprives me of spending time with them too.

I guess we all do things differently.

**littlethistle** · 24-03-2009, 12:26 PM

we have a naughty spot (a round rug from ikea) but it doesnt get used that often (btw my boys are far from angelic lol)... i usually have a talk time 1st before it gets to that stage tho. i found this works better for my oldest son, now that he`s a big brother, cos he hates being taken out of whatever we are all doing at the time.

i did worry for a time about my oldest cos he was so not bothered about me taking away a toy. i found that reaction very upsetting

i agree that a situation needs dealt with at the time and not kept overhanging all day and punishment dealt out later on ???

**Jules27** · 24-03-2009, 01:16 PM

Interesting replys, thanks ladies! I will be showing my friend this thread as think she could take a lot from it. I agree behaviour needs to be dealt with on the spot, thats why at the moment taking a toy from my son works as its really upsets him so I do usually get a 'sorry' and hug quite quickly

May have to change tactics when he gets bit bigger such as the penny jar idea!

**Alibali** · 24-03-2009, 08:00 PM

Each child is an individual and reacts in different ways to situations, I'm sure each mum knows her own child best and knows what will work for her individual child, whether we disagree with it or not.

I must say it has never crossed my mind to use bed time stories as a punishment, as I am a great believer in never going to sleep on an argument, however 'Mum knows best'!

**sarah707** · 24-03-2009, 09:20 PM

I was only talking to my teens the other evening about the nights we used to sit and read together.

We had a book of 365 stories we must have read 3 or 4 times, we never missed a night.

Those times are special and should be kept as precious.

You can never get them back if you waste them.

**claireLouise** · 24-03-2009, 09:47 PM

I use time out. I would not withdraw story time. This onl;y happens if B is too tired. As much because it is quality time with him and I would be punishing myself by not having stoary time

Claire

**Helen79** · 25-03-2009, 12:13 PM

I used tot take toys away but dd just wasn't bothered & it had no affect on her behaviour so I've stopped, we're still working on strategies on how to deal with bad behaviour.

I would never use a bedtime story as a punishment say if dd was naughty at breakfast time but if she's messing about or being naughty at bedtime i tell her we won't have times for a bedtime story if she doesn't behave. If she doesn't listen then she doesn't get a story. We never go to bed angry though, she still has cuddles & kisses before bed.