A member needs our support

[bubbles]

This is so sad. Emotions will all be so raw for everyone with it only just having happened. When my mum died last year it was very sudden and was hard for my son. He was almost 4 and she looked after him everyday for me whilst i went to work. I think he found seeing me and my dad upset the most difficult thing. All i would say is to take one day at a time and keep loving and supporting the baby the way you are doing Haribo. And make sure you are getting some support for yourself as well as not only will you be greiving yourself but i'm sure its emotionally draining on you trying to keep things as normal as possible for the little one.

My thoughts are with Haribo and the family involved. x

[haribo]

Thanks everyone,it is a real support,and to hear tales of other tragedies gives me hope that this family will find strength in each other and people around them xx

[carolinel]

so, so, awful. you are all in my thoughts. i just cannot comprehend how anyone copes with something like this.

it's just so sad. you know where we are haribo any time you want to offload.

xx

[Shirlwith3]

Just wanted send loads & loads of hugs to you & your mindees family.

I am sat here like everyone else crying then thinking of when my gran died my oldest was 4yrs old, he kept thinking when every went out the house they were not coming back, we just kept reasuring him that they were coming back.

[emmadines]

Im sorry about whats happened and am sorry that I dont really have any words of advice.
I can only surggest maybe doing a memory book for the elder one ask for some photos, info on fav things, trips they went on etc?

Loads of hugs and good luck!

makes you realise how fragile we are really doesnt it!?

[marion123]

im very sorry to hear this news x x x those poor children and husband i just dont know what to say my children 14 and 18 and my husband were in a road traffic accident on thurdsay night they were involved with three other cars when i got the call i went in to shock as i didnt know there injures my emotions were all over the place thankful they are fine just cuts and bruises i feel for the children and everyone in there family so very very sad a memory box is a good idea thinking of them and the childminder at this sad time

[Heaven Scent]

I know a minder here in my Town who has been in exactly the same situation - I'll speak to her about this sorry for the delay in replying as I said in another thread - not been at all well for last couple of days so not logged on - I've not read the whole thread yet just the first post - I don't know a lot about the situation I just know that the mother died relly soon after having the baby - the minder was already looking after the older brother (-not sure if there is more than 1 older brother) but I do know it was a real shock for the minder as the mum died suddenly over the week-end and the dad arrived on Monday as usual to drop the children off and only told her then. I'm afraid I don't know much more I'm sure if the minder involved PM'd me her phone number S would be more than happy to speak to her - she used to be the support minder for this town until cheshire did away with them. = i'll wait and see what the other minder wants to do before I speak to Sally. - I don't want to appear all sensationalist - if I don't hear anything before Tuesday I'll have a quiet word with Sally when I meet her at the minder group and post here when I get back.

[teacake2]

My thoughts and wishes go out to everyone involved in this. A few years ago I looked after a brother and sister aged 3 and 18 months, their father had been killed in a work related accident when the youngest was just 6 weeks old so he never knew his dad but the oldest one could remember him. They were fantastic well adjusted kids and their Mum put it down to keeping them in a routine,being honest with them about what had happened, talking about dad and having supportive friends and family about. Also a couple of years ago I was looking after a 3 year old whose Dad died after breaking his leg and infection getting in, again the family concerned relied heavily on support from friends and family, keeping to routine and openly talking about wha had happened. (I feel terrible writing this as it seems like I am jinxed and that something horrible happens to my mindees all the time, but the other 100+ families I have been involved in are fine as far as I know ).
There was also an incident at the local school where one of the boys died at school of an asthma attack, again support played a large role in the family's attempt of coping.
I hope that in time all of you can come to terms with the loss and that life will get better in time.
Teacake2

[breezy]

love to you and the children haribo, give yourself time to grieve x

[son77]

Sorry to hear your news haribo.

Im sure you will be a great support to the family, probably without even knowing it.

Bigs hugs xxx

[jessie1]

Like everyone else this has brought tears to my eyes and frustration as well as when these accidents happens the innocent lives that gets taken away and leaving the loved ones and even young ones behind. I also cried few weeks ago when one whole family got killed including 20 month old and 10 week old babies.

But my main reason is for the kids as my brother passed away unexpected when his one daughter was 2 years old and his baby daughter was 2 months old. His 1st born is 5 now and she is still waiting for daddy to come from heaven. Because I live in England I can never talk to her on the phone as she refuse to speak to anyone on the phone as Daddy used to call her every morning and if the phone rings and its not daddy she still screams and cries and throw the phone. So best is councelling. I would have thought that 2 year old wont remember but they do.

All my love for the little ones and hugs to you in support.

[Cazz]

Not been on for a couple of days so I've only just seen this. I'm so sorry to hear about this tragedy and am sitting here in tears too - I can tell that you're a very special person and will give immense support to this poor family. I'm sure the baby is comforted by having you to give her hugs and love. It's just unimaginable that this sort of thing happens and it's just not fair on the poor children is it?

What a lovely other parent too to be willing to allow you to focus on the baby that needs you so much.

Can't really give any advice as I'm lucky to have never been in this sort of situation but I just want to send you, the children and their dad big hugs and lots of love.

Carole x

[samd35]

Sorry to hear about this. Sending lots of love.

x

[Andrea08]

how very sad and i send my love and light a candle for you all.

DCSF must have information to support families im sure i got a new poster from them but it doesn't mention this subject sorry ,

CIS should have contact links to services in your local area ,
i also did a counciling course so your LA might also have notes on simular ?

very sorry if that not much help and i wish you the very best through this difficult time (((((hug))))) x

[Cazz]

Just wanted to add something else - I've been feeling quite sorry for myself today as I've had toothache all weekend and I can't get a dentist appointment until tomorrow morning. I came on here to try and take my mind off it and as I mentioned catch up on the threads for the last few days.

I've just been up to fetch my 10 month old baby who woke from her nap and as I walked in she gave me a huge smile and said "mummy". I immediately cried again and gave her a big hug as I was thinking of this poor mum who won't get the chance to do this with her own "babies" again.

Anyway, I'm not going to be selfish anymore and be grateful that I'm here to enjoy my own children - the other two will get a big hug and kiss when they get home from school too (my son will be disgusted but there you go!).

Please give that little one a hug from me too x

Carole x

[merry]

I'm so sorry Haribo, what tragic news, my heart goes out to your mindees and family, and to you too.

merry

[chantelbutterwo]

What an awful situation.

I know the NSPCC has some online resources for beravement.

Why not help the 5 year old to make up a memory box, fill it with pictures and help write down some good memories.

Sorry can't be more helpful.

[zoex]

oh im so sorry to hear this. it is just awful!

big hug.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Nicki L]

How terrible - those poor children.

I am lost for words and have shed a tear.

I havent been in this situation so dont have any words of wisdom. Just wanted to show my support.

My thoughts are with all concerned.

[haribo]

just to say i have read every one of your posts and am so grateful for the support, it means a lot that you have taken the time to answer ,even just to say youre thinking of us and sending good wishes. the advice given has been great too,i have told dad about winstons wish and have visited the site myself and am going to get two memory boxes,one for each child, that they can fill in with dad. the children are doing okay,the little boy has gone back to school and is talking to his dad a lot, the little one i mind has been her usual happy self really, maybe a touch more clingy and wanting hugs but she knows me very well i have minded her for 12 months she was 7 months old and even though i cannot replace mum i think we have a close bond and thats what she needs right now. its very early days but i feel more positive about their future, dad adores them and is great with them and they will get through it together. i miss mum a lot ad its little things like the way we arranged things,what she left here etc its hard to get used to , she was very easy to deal with and so supportive. i still have a card on my telly she brought me after ofsted had been , with a big box of chocs,thats what she was like.i will let you know how things are going , thanks to you all again xx