A member needs our support

[jmoff]

Oh my word how dreadful!
My thoughts are with the family!

I agree with what has been said, I lost my father when I was 9, we never really talked about him much and I dont remember much about him, I wish we had! It feels still very raw for my mum even though it happened 20 years ago.
A memory box is a lovely idea! And def grief councellor!

Jx

[Pipsqueak]

Here for you if you needs us - today and every day. What a truly tragic event.

Thinking of you and the family (((xxx)))

Hebs - I do remember the family you are saying about - the accident happened not far from where I am if I remember correctly.
Hope the little boy is doing well

[flora]

What an awfull situation to be in Haribo, sending you lots of love and big hugs xxx

Great advice already given, my frined use to work with terminally ill children and one thing they do for parents is the memory boxes but also quilts.

The child clothes are made into a patchwork quilt. Each peice of fabric represented something special for the parent. One little boy loved tractors and so the pic on the quilt was a tractor. Alllie said it brought a lot of comfort to the parents.

[childmind04]

glad you have posted, this has made me cry but only because of the love and care you are continuing to give this family, it is truly humbling

Susan

[Ellen]

Hi sorry to her about the children's mum

How must they be feeling? And of course yourself

My children lost their grandad and I was given a little book from the funeral directors called Drangonflies and waterbeetles. I have found the story here hope it helps http://www.seniorsapprove.com/dragonfly.html[/URL]

Love Ellen XXX

[Blaze]

Hugs to you Haribo...allow yourself to grieve too....we're all here for you.

[louise]

I have no advice. Just want to send my love. Sorry everything i go to write doesn't sound right.

[jaz]

Not sure what to say, but just know that we are all here to offer what support we can. My mil died just over a year ago, and I remember a saying

'we never lose the ones we love, for love itself lives on'

Big hugs to you and the family at this really difficult time.

J
x

[Monkey1]

Oh Sarah, thats terrible! I will pm you when i have finished work hun. I have had a similar situation with one of my mindees so i know what she is going through

[nannysue]

I can only echo what others have said, i'm so sorry and i send you all my love and support. My thoughts are also with the family. Love Sue x

[beerheaven]

What incredibly sad news. I think it may have already been mentioned but Winstons Wish is a wonderful charity which hopefully can provide support for both the family and you through the difficult times ahead.
Thinking of you all.

[miss muffit]

How very sad, i lost my parents when i was 47yrs and that was devastating enough.

How does a child cope with the thought of not seeing their Mum again, bless them the little darlings x

and love and best wishes to this lovely caring childminder,

i have a lovely childrens book called Always and Forever by Alan Durant,

" have your handkerchief ready for this beautifully judged story about the death of fox"

" A wonderful and moving story that explains death gently"

xx

[Hebs]

Hebs - I do remember the family you are saying about - the accident happened not far from where I am if I remember correctly.
Hope the little boy is doing well

It was on the A1, we were all stunned by Paula's death cos you don't think people your own age die i mean she wasn't even 30 years old,
Her son is doing amaingly well, he has had councilling to help him understand what happened as he lost entire family but it's amazing how they cope with situations that adults struggle with, i'm sure these 2 little ones will come through with fond memories of their mother, all my wishes go to you all at this VERY sad time
xxxxxxxxxx

[Donkey]

Haribo - I am so very sorry to hear that you are going through this.
To leave her precious children when they are both still so tiny themselves is truly heartbreaking.

I can't offer any real life experience, just advice on what I would do if faced with a similar situation (heaven forbid)

I know you are not looking after the little boy, but I would advise speaking with the nan and the little boys school to see how he is handling it when they are with them and to offer support so that the same things are being said to both children.

how about asking the dad for some pictures of mum if he can (this might upset him) so that the little one can remember their mum.

Other than that, the 'normal' routine, although their lives will not be 'normal' for some time.

lastly get yourself some grief counselling, the shock will have hit you hard too.

My thoughts are with you all at this sad time.

Love and Hugs,

Joy

[wellybelly]

NCH action for children offer support and advice for this very situation. Its free too. I would advise you to get in touch and talk to someone as a childminder and perhaps get them to get in touch with the dad re the children. They have support workers specifically for children in this situation.

[mandy moo]

My best friends mum died when we were 16, no words of wisdom or anything, sorry, just hugs
My thought are with you all

[emler]

I posted earlier but since then I have found a couple of websites which may be helpful -

www.winstonswish.org.uk

www.richmondshope.org.uk

There are some nice ideas for memory boxes and advice on dealing with bereavement. Sending hugs your way xx

[Hannahlg]

Hiya so said to here about your loss

we look after a little boy who is 3 and half and his mum killed herself (had postnaol derpressing) but this was before the little started coming to us he start about 4 weeks after it happend. The little boy took a while to get his head around what happend to mum. one day he asked him dad if his mummy was dead and he just told him stright that she was and that she wasnt coming back and thats she is in haven and he has been so much better senice he knows she is not coming back he is so much happyer now

i think the best thing is to to work with dad to in keeping the childs rountine in place and to talk about what to say to the child when she starts to ask about where mum is ( when she starts to talk etc)

[Rubybubbles]

sending you big hugs hun.


Last Jan my friend died in a car crash leaving a 4 yr old and a under 2. It was very hard, but I am pleased to say a year on the children are doing brilliantly and the most important thing dad has kept strong is not to forget the people we love who are no longer with us. The younegst child was christened last month and on his cake was a tribute to his mum, wheleing up thinking about it.

We are here if you need us babes
xxx

[Malark]

How very sad for everyone. Sending you big hugs xxxxxx