Parenting styles
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  1. #1
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    Default Parenting styles

    I'm in the middle of setting up a visit with a family. They sound lovely. Mum mentioned that she practices attachment parenting.

    I have a general idea on what it is and of course will read up on it some more, but thought I would ask you all for your experiences of minding a child who has had this type of parenting. Child is 17 months.

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    GOOD LUCK!

    It depends on Mums actual understanding of attachment parenting to my mind !

    TRUE attachment parenting gives the child a solid and secure base from which to explore, and to be confident and outgoing. However, I have met several 'attachment parents' who actually, just encourage the child to 'cling', be carried, and stay with them, and never to go and explore, and 'helicopter' them.

    BUT ... it is not always down to the parents style of parenting! Some children just clingy/are shy/never want to do anything, and it takes a lot of support and encouragement to get them to do so, and other children are just 'out there' exploring from the word go! But I do think that the 'nervous' child can be 'trained' to be more confident, but if you have mum picking up everytime they so much as flutter an eyelid or wobble a lip, then it is hard work!! to my mind, that isn't attachment parenting, but lazy parenting!

    I had a minded child whose mum said they 'attachment parented' ... I don't think the child had been put down or left with toys etc ( without a parent being right there, next to them, interacting constantly ) until they arrived at mine at 11 mths! and if you don't ever put your child down, then they won't start to crawl !!!!

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    Loocyloo, that makes me feel a whole lot better. Not!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maza View Post
    Loocyloo, that makes me feel a whole lot better. Not!
    sorry! not sorry! ... forewarned is forearmed!

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    Quote Originally Posted by loocyloo View Post
    sorry! not sorry! ... forewarned is forearmed!
    Totally agree!

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    I totally agree with LoocyLoo's assessment of attachment parenting!

    I've had parents who say they follow the process, but are actually just clingy parents. They micromanage their child's every move and don't let them explore or gain any independence. They seem completely lost if the child starts to cry, so avoid any instance when they might happen. They're usually walking on egg shells for fear of upsetting the child and having to deal with the consequences. There are no boundaries and, by the time they realise the child is out of control, they blame everyone else for their poor behaviour!

    Then I've had other parents who follow the process, but encourage their child to be confident and independent. I have one friend who is a big advocate of attachment parenting. She carries her babies in a sling, co-sleeps, practices positive discipline, home schools etc. Her children are wonderful. They're adventurous and a bit wild, but well behaved, very kind and incredibly polite.

    You need to speak to parents and observe them with their child. If they seem too nervous to let them explore and are constantly hovering over them, you might have your work cut out!

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    Thanks everyone. I'm more than happy to keep an open mind, as I know all parenting/teaching/lifestyle methods are all open to interpretation. Also happy to learn from parents along the way - if they are open too and accept that things may have to be slightly different to home.

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    Keeping an open mind is the best way forward.

    I listen to what parents expect/want, explain what I can or can't do, then let them decide if they're happy with that.

    As long as their expectations are realistic, we usually manage to find a happy compromise.

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