Settling in sessions
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  1. #21
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    They wouldn't let me leave her longer than ten minutes to cry (think that was even a push for them), I would have left her 30 mins given the choice...
    Apparently goes straight to sleep at home, no rocking or anything...
    Weaned, on formula milk currently (don't know about previously)...

  2. #22
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    Didn't fall asleep but was showing tiredness cues earlier on

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by mumofone View Post
    Didn't fall asleep but was showing tiredness cues earlier on
    Oh dear. As you say, early days, so normal. Only you know though whether you wan to carry on and persevere. Would it seem more manageable if the parents were not anxious?

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maza View Post
    Oh dear. As you say, early days, so normal. Only you know though whether you wan to carry on and persevere. Would it seem more manageable if the parents were not anxious?
    Gosh yes, I think their angst is just making the situation worse, I think if they had the attitude of sorry, babies cry, let's hope she settles it would be better somehow! It's all this desperate ringing and family meetings(!) and not letting get cry for ten minutes which I'm finding so OTT and therefore I guess a bit wearing!!

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  6. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by mumofone View Post
    Gosh yes, I think their angst is just making the situation worse, I think if they had the attitude of sorry, babies cry, let's hope she settles it would be better somehow! It's all this desperate ringing and family meetings(!) and not letting get cry for ten minutes which I'm finding so OTT and therefore I guess a bit wearing!!
    How do they know if you let babe cry for more than 10 minutes?

    it can take us a little while to learn to read babes cues that they are tired, and also for babe to show the cues, in a new environment that may be more stimulating than they are used to. Babies learn to go to sleep differently in different environments, it may be that it is noisier at your house, so they are less inclined to go to sleep because they might miss out on some fun!

    I also tell my parents, that I can't always answer the phone/text immediately, because I might be dealing with their or another child; reading a story, playing a game, changing a nappy, and that I will respond to messages when I can, of course, if it is an emergency, and they leave a message saying so ( or a zillion text messages ) then I respond as soon as I can. There are times that I long for the 'olden days' when people only had a land line, and then, a lot of people didn't have answer phones!

    good luck x

    I have a new babe starting soon, and I sense I might be having the same issues! ( they wanted lots of settling in sessions, but because they faffed around about signing contracts, start dates etc, I have barely anything to offer them as settling visits, I just don't have the availability when they want it due to summer holidays! hey ho ... we might not even get as far as signing contracts! )
    Last edited by loocyloo; 27-07-2016 at 03:52 PM.

  7. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by loocyloo View Post
    How do they know if you let babe cry for more than 10 minutes? it can take us a little while to learn to read babes cues that they are tired, and also for babe to show the cues, in a new environment that may be more stimulating than they are used to. Babies learn to go to sleep differently in different environments, it may be that it is noisier at your house, so they are less inclined to go to sleep because they might miss out on some fun! I also tell my parents, that I can't always answer the phone/text immediately, because I might be dealing with their or another child; reading a story, playing a game, changing a nappy, and that I will respond to messages when I can, of course, if it is an emergency, and they leave a message saying so ( or a zillion text messages ) then I respond as soon as I can. There are times that I long for the 'olden days' when people only had a land line, and then, a lot of people didn't have answer phones! good luck x I have a new babe starting soon, and I sense I might be having the same issues! ( they wanted lots of settling in sessions, but because they faffed around about signing contracts, start dates etc, I have barely anything to offer them as settling visits, I just don't have the availability when they want it due to summer holidays! hey ho ... we might not even get as far as signing contracts! )
    They left baby today and said try and put them down for a nap but told me if baby cried that I were to let them know as they would come and get them as baby never usually crys.
    So I put down baby for a nap, baby cried. I left it ten minutes and then told them baby was crying at which point they came and got them!!

  8. #27
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    gosh - this sounds very trying! I feel sorry for the parents as it seems they are making a rod for their own back
    Not allowing the baby to be reassured by you and settle quickly into a routine is just making it harder for the child surely?
    I think they have very unrealistic expectations and if they are like this now what will they be like if child is upset because feels poorly, lost a toy, got bumped by another child or if child has a scraped knee?

  9. #28
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    Ok so baby's settled a bit but can't crack the naps, any ideas?!

  10. #29
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    Glad baby has settled a bit, Sometimes it just takes longer with some children. Parents coming round everytime she cries though isn't going to help at all. If they are going to trust you with their child then they need to trust you.

    From experience I would just get into a routine, then baby hopefully will get used to it. If you're putting her down at the same time, same place and doing the same thing then she will get there. Don't make your life harder by agreeing to something that you cant do long term...like rocking her to sleep or stroking her back until she falls asleep etc. If you have other children its just not doable.

    I think its just a matter of riding it out and just seeing how it goes...On the other hand I've had 1 child in my 22yrs that didn't settle at all, after 8 weeks. So I had to give notice as it was better for every one all round
    Time Out.. The perfect time for thinking about what you're going to destroy next.

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  12. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by JCrakers View Post
    Glad baby has settled a bit, Sometimes it just takes longer with some children. Parents coming round everytime she cries though isn't going to help at all. If they are going to trust you with their child then they need to trust you. From experience I would just get into a routine, then baby hopefully will get used to it. If you're putting her down at the same time, same place and doing the same thing then she will get there. Don't make your life harder by agreeing to something that you cant do long term...like rocking her to sleep or stroking her back until she falls asleep etc. If you have other children its just not doable. I think its just a matter of riding it out and just seeing how it goes...On the other hand I've had 1 child in my 22yrs that didn't settle at all, after 8 weeks. So I had to give notice as it was better for every one all round
    Yeh Mum wants me to take her out for a walk to get her off to sleep but it's just not doable with multiple children because it doesn't always fit their routine, I need for her to be able to sleep in the cot.

  13. #31
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    Any tips on how to get a baby to sleep who won't self settle gratefully received! This baby does not want to nap for me!!

  14. #32
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    I notice you say you can't go out for a walk but could you rock the baby in a pram/ buggy in the garden? I find that it works for reluctant sleepers here.

  15. #33
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    I know this is an old, old thread, but I was just looking up old posts on settling in sessions and this came up.

    Mumofone - if you happen to pop on over the next few days, how did you get on with this little one? Did he/she ever settle? I would love to know, lol!

  16. #34
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    Haha its funny reading this back. They ended up staying with me until aged 3 and were a very solid customer. I cant recall now at which point the child settled but they did. Not the smiliest of children but certainly settled. The parents were very anxious though so i was quite glad when they moved on even though they were lovely.

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