help.. giving notice!!

[Jessymax]

ok so its only been 3 weeks but this is the exact reason I have a 4 week settling in period because I just don't think I can cope with her.. she has only done mornings so far and next week it will be a full day I don't know whether to try having her all day and see if any better or just give notice or just tell mum she can only have a half day space ..

And if I do give notice do I tell a white lie and say due to personal reasons etc or tell her the truth. My partner thinks I should 'man up' - his words! and tell mum to her face that she doesn't behave well here etc but if I put myself in her shoes and someone told me they didn't want to specifically look after my child id be gutted..

[teenyandbear]

Oh no, what's happening? I'm in a bit of a similar situation myself.

[crumpet54]

What's the reasons why you don't want her? Behaviour.? Sorry if I've missed a post on it previously?

[mumofone]

ok so its only been 3 weeks but this is the exact reason I have a 4 week settling in period because I just don't think I can cope with her.. she has only done mornings so far and next week it will be a full day I don't know whether to try having her all day and see if any better or just give notice or just tell mum she can only have a half day space .. And if I do give notice do I tell a white lie and say due to personal reasons etc or tell her the truth. My partner thinks I should 'man up' - his words! and tell mum to her face that she doesn't behave well here etc but if I put myself in her shoes and someone told me they didn't want to specifically look after my child id be gutted..

How old are they jessy?

[Jessymax]

she will be 3 in may and never been in childcare setting before and blatently has no boundaries at home. asks for something to eat then wont eat it, doesn't sit still for 5 seconds and im not exaggerating. hits other mindee, squashes playdough into carpet the minute I turn my back.. does this awful high pitched whine the second she cants do something and soon as mum comes jumps all over my furniture with her wellies on and mum doesn't even say anything so think its a losing battle x p.s I know all children arnt angels and ive looked after my fair share of difficult ones but I feel now its the choice about having them in my home I can make that decision not too if that makes sense x

[greenfaerie]

I would be honest about the behaviour and just saying to the parent that the child isn't settling well in your setting. I looked after a child for 8 months who had behaviour similar to what you've described. I tried very hard to help and to make it work with my rules, but it never did and in the end I had to give notice anyway. I think sometimes you can tell when it's not going to work, even if you don't like to give up too early. There's nothing wrong with making a decision to benefit you, your family and your home.

[bunyip]

I tend to be rather reticent about advising anyone to give a reason when they give notice. It always runs the risk of mum saying "how dare a CM say that about my child?" or "what kind of CM can't cope with.........?" You see it a lot on Nutmommies, etc. SHe could be ok with it, but I think putting it in writing is leaving yourself open to a backlash against your reputation.

I'd maybe discuss it if she asked for a reason, verbally. But again, 'modern manners' are such that people very quickly turn from "I wouldn't mind if she'd just come out and say it" to, well, minding an awful lot when you do just come out and say it. If you do decide to come out with the reason, then concentrate on the disruptive/unpleasant effect it is having on the rest of the mindees.

If you're going to offer to continue the contract in any way, shape or form, then you do need to address the issue. I'd want an agreement to support behaviour management at home as a priority, and possibly want the family to seek specialist help, such as attending an Incredible Years course at a children's centre.

Make sure you have incident reports for when other children are hit. You don't want their mums to be the last to know if this particular mum starts to gossip.