Ok. Now is the time to TELL the mum of the 2 extra that you are now unavailable and will not be working that day. Your health comes first. I'm sure if you were ill, she would be able to sort something out.Quote:
Originally Posted by TinyTinker
Xxx
Printable View
Ok. Now is the time to TELL the mum of the 2 extra that you are now unavailable and will not be working that day. Your health comes first. I'm sure if you were ill, she would be able to sort something out.Quote:
Originally Posted by TinyTinker
Xxx
yes, to sort it out she will cancel her training course - and I'll never live it down!
kinda put my back up when she knew what appt is, and then said 'I'm not missing my training course!' fine for me to miss an important hospital visit though! as long as she gets training!
why do I bend over backwards so much for my parents - only to find no flexibility in the return:angry:
Agreed, you were considerate enough to this parent but now is the time you put your foot down and say you will not be working, don't let them walk over you.Quote:
Originally Posted by loocyloo
Your health has to come first, any decent person would realise that.
Spell it out that early diagnoses means less invasive treatment ie: less time off by you and inconvenience to her. Tell her that you (or any childminder could phone her in the morning giving an hours notice for her to find alternative care if you have gone down with a sickness bug - parents really should think about some kind of back up plan.
I bet if it was this mum facing a scary appointment like this one, her husband would be able to take time off work to go and support her, what would she have done with the kids if you hadn't been able to have them for the training course - bet she can find a friend or relative really!
Really hoping obviously for you that you get the all clear after your check up. Do you work closely with any other childminders who could help her out this day and do you have any friends who can take your own children to school?
Sometimes we HAVE to take time off without the agreed notice period and this is one of those times. Please do not try to re-arrange your appointment in order to placate this unreasonable woman, really!!!!!:angry: Your health MUST come first. She'll cope with arranging alternative childcare and even if she doesn't, TOUGH. Silly mare :censored:
xxx
best thing is! she works in the breast screening department doing mammograms! so she should know what it's like:mad:
am working on bending over backwards again (I know I'm a mug) but my parents are taking our own children and then it will be possible to sort minded kids - and other parent is changing their shift to make hours different:)
Oh Tiny Tinker, I feel like phoning this horrible woman myself on your behalf. I know it's easy for us all to say 'do this and do that', but when it's you in that position it is harder than it looks to put our foot down. If it is going to stress you out by standing up to this family then see if you can work around it somehow, but not by delaying your appointment. Her actions may come back to haunt her. x
Just because she works there doesn't mean she has ever herself felt that heart stopping moment when you find a lump and the stress and anxiety of having all the tests. I hope for her sake she never does but karma is a great thing.Quote:
Originally Posted by TinyTinker
xxx
Here child care arrangements are her problem, especially as your doing an "extra" for them. I know that sounds harsh but your health is paramount. With any luck you'll only need one or two appointments and that will be it.
I found a lump in my abdomen a few years ago. Was refered for an ultrasound as urgent and is cascaded from there. I was open with my parents (even blubbed on one Mum). I then had several last minute appointments and then surgery which resulted in two weeks off work. I advised parents as soon as I got the appointments so they could make arrangements but it wasn't that much (3 weeks tops).
I now have follow up appointments (only ever on a Monday as that is clinic day) and have been referred for a MRI after feeling discomfort at the tumour site. Again I told parents to expect me to be unavailable at somepoint. Fortunately this time the MRI is a Friday which I don't work but I wouldn't be postponing for anybody.
I hate having to close for these things and do feel bad, but you need to put yourself first and not have worrying about them on top of everything. Hopefully all that's happened is she's gone into a flat spin worrying about childcare and initially taken it out on you. Hopefully in a day or two she'll realise that she's been unreasonable.
It is not clear from your thread whether you need to attend a 'routine' appointment....or whether you have been referred for a check up.Quote:
Originally Posted by TinyTinker
It is a rather personal and delicate issue so I would not expect to be given all the details in this public forum.
Whatever the appointment is about your parents are not required to know all the details...all they are required to do is work in 'partnership' with you.
This is not returning a favour or you bending over backwards ...this is understanding that life can throw unexpected issues in our way and they must always have an emergency plan to cover for their childcare
If we bend over backwards they will expect more and more....just imagine if the situation was reversed.
We are expected to promote 'well being' in children...we must make sure we promote first in ourselves.
Having giving the information to parents I would expect them to come up with a solution for you within days and inform you they have it all 'covered'...and make sure you go to your appointment without a worry.