Destructive behaviour?

**mumofone** · 19-08-2015, 09:13 AM

I have a mindee who seems insistent on playing with some things in the wrong way but is this just regular behaviour (6 year olds) ie. I have an inflatable globe, she sits on it, deflates it etc etc, I have a threading lacing board, she's tied each lace so tightly in knots that i can't now undo them. She got the toilet trainer seat out in the loo and was doing goodness knows what with it but it was put on the floor when I went in (she doesn't need it herself obviously) but is this just regular kids behaviour or is she being destructiv (trying to think of other examples that illustrate this better ) ...

Simona · 19-08-2015, 09:24 AM

Originally Posted by mumofone

I have a mindee who seems insistent on playing with some things in the wrong way but is this just regular behaviour (6 year olds) ie. I have an inflatable globe, she sits on it, deflates it etc etc, I have a threading lacing board, she's tied each lace so tightly in knots that i can't now undo them. She got the toilet trainer seat out in the loo and was doing goodness knows what with it but it was put on the floor when I went in (she doesn't need it herself obviously) but is this just regular kids behaviour or is she being destructiv (trying to think of other examples that illustrate this better ) ...

I wouldn't call this destructive behaviour...the child needs to be guided on her actions.

I have spent hours undoing knots in threading laces...explain what happens when she ties knots...let her try.
I too had one of those inflatable balls...all some kids wanted to do was pull the plug out and deflate it...let them do it and then show them what happens.

**chris goodyear** · 19-08-2015, 09:27 AM

Could it be attention seeking? Have you others the same or similar age to her? If not maybe she is bored, not a criticism on your part but some schoolies find it hard to entertain themselves when not in school. Some have their lives so organised they are at a loss when that doesn't happen. If this is not the case I would be telling her in no uncertain terms that for someone her age this is unacceptable behaviour and she must stop and I would be keeping a close eye on he. Maybe point out that the younger ones will be watching her and then copying and one day there will be nothing to do as everything will have been broken. Sorry if this is not very helpful but I do get cross when kids deliberately ruin things so spoiling everyone's fun. Has she any issues going on at school or home or even medically? Be interested to see what others think.

**Mouse** · 19-08-2015, 09:43 AM

It sounds like boredom to me.

I agree with Chris. It's not a criticism of your provision, but maybe she'd be better occupied with more children of her own age. No matter what activities you provide and no matter how much attention you give her, it's just not the same when children are by themselves.

**mumofone** · 19-08-2015, 10:02 AM

Thanks guys she's not by herself there's children of various ages now though no one her age.
Not much I can do about the different ages unfortunately...must be many Childminders problem?

**mumofone** · 19-08-2015, 10:23 AM

Originally Posted by Simona

I wouldn't call this destructive behaviour...the child needs to be guided on her actions. I have spent hours undoing knots in threading laces...explain what happens when she ties knots...let her try. I too had one of those inflatable balls...all some kids wanted to do was pull the plug out and deflate it...let them do it and then show them what happens.

Thanks simona, I was just looking for some perspective as it's difficult when you work in a bit of a vacuum! I think it's partly her personality and partly kids being kids! I don't have any experience of children so was just your thoughts :-)

**mumofone** · 19-08-2015, 10:26 AM

Originally Posted by chris goodyear

Could it be attention seeking? Have you others the same or similar age to her? If not maybe she is bored, not a criticism on your part but some schoolies find it hard to entertain themselves when not in school. Some have their lives so organised they are at a loss when that doesn't happen. If this is not the case I would be telling her in no uncertain terms that for someone her age this is unacceptable behaviour and she must stop and I would be keeping a close eye on he. Maybe point out that the younger ones will be watching her and then copying and one day there will be nothing to do as everything will have been broken. Sorry if this is not very helpful but I do get cross when kids deliberately ruin things so spoiling everyone's fun. Has she any issues going on at school or home or even medically? Be interested to see what others think.

Yep probably attention seeking! I think she likes a reaction! :-)

Simona · 19-08-2015, 10:30 AM

CMs have looked after mixed age children since time immemorial...that is the fundamental basis of our settings.
It is a question of catering for all individual needs

Yes this child is definitely attracting attention, she may be bored or feels she is not getting enough attention...maybe you could ask what her interests are and get resources suited to her age

Her behaviour is unacceptable as it has consequences on other children but it can be resolved and addressed...personally the age range in my setting was from babies, including those with SEN, to 11 year olds and all got on very well.
Also talk to the child and ask her why she is behaving in this manner...listen to her she may need more responsibilities to get her settled and happy