Thoughtless selfish thoughtless and some more selfish

[Fitrix]

So having 6 kids lie ins are by nature few and far between. But last night we managed to get all 6 farmed out to various friends/activities/their dads etc. No kids in the house - yay! Yet one of my parents felt the need to text at 07.50 this morning (Sunday morning) to state plans for Thursday next week........ My ringer was on incase of any emergency as all kids not with me. If anyone can think of a cutting response I will use it!!

[bunyip]

No offence, but have you actually told clients what you regard as "reasonable" or "unreasonable" times to contact you?

If you don't tell people, they don't know.

[Maza]

OMG, how annoying. This has happened a few times with me too, but not with mindees. Once my cleaner (yes, I know I'm lucky to have one) sent me a text at 6am telling me that she wouldn't be able to come at 1pm that day. Twice I have been woken up by different neighbours who had locked themselves out and needed me to let them in through the communal front door. None of them have kids and so just don't appreciate how precious lie ins are! I would just be straight and ask them (in a polite but firm way) not to text you at that time on a weekend again. They should be embarrassed, not you. x

[lollipop kid]

So having 6 kids lie ins are by nature few and far between. But last night we managed to get all 6 farmed out to various friends/activities/their dads etc. No kids in the house - yay! Yet one of my parents felt the need to text at 07.50 this morning (Sunday morning) to state plans for Thursday next week........ My ringer was on incase of any emergency as all kids not with me. If anyone can think of a cutting response I will use it!!

I used a childminder when my DD was little. Her approach was to have it written in her contracts that she was only contactable by text (not calls) Monday to Friday, between the hours of 8am and 6pm. Outwith these times, she would not be looking at her phone, nor would she be able to respond to texts until her next working day (Monday to Friday). She also made it clear that parents could call in emergency situations but that she may not be able to answer their calls if she was attending to a child's needs, as their needs have to come first, so leave a voicemail or text and she would respond when she was able to.

I thought this was pretty cool, and have been meaning to add something similar to my contracts.

Hope it helps,

L

[bunyip]

I used a childminder when my DD was little. Her approach was to have it written in her contracts that she was only contactable by text (not calls) Monday to Friday, between the hours of 8am and 6pm. Outwith these times, she would not be looking at her phone, nor would she be able to respond to texts until her next working day (Monday to Friday). She also made it clear that parents could call in emergency situations but that she may not be able to answer their calls if she was attending to a child's needs, as their needs have to come first, so leave a voicemail or text and she would respond when she was able to.

I thought this was pretty cool, and have been meaning to add something similar to my contracts.

Hope it helps,

L

That's pretty much what I've got. I also add the clarification that "lack of planning on your part does not constitute an 'emergency' on my part."

See, everyone is different and it's rarely wise to assume that one person's version of "a reasonable time to call" will be the same for everybody else. Is it "reasonable" to call when they're working or "reasonable" to call when they're relaxing?

For shift workers (and I've been there) it is totally selfish and thoughtless for the rest of the world to be letting off fireworks on bonfire night or new year's eve when you've got to be up at 3am for work the next day.

Communication is the key to expectations.

[Fitrix]

Absolutely agree on the what is reasonable and unreasonable and if they aren't told how can they know. I just expect all adults with a modicum of intelligence to use common courtesy and thought. Why even risk disturbing someone who you know has a lot of kids and could do with a break when what you have to say could easily wait??
Problem is that this parent was one of my nice considerate ones until she booked a 10 day holiday and was shocked that I still expected to be paid...... Since that she has been treating me like the hired help and I can't help but think this morning's wake up call was deliberate.

[loocyloo]

How annoying fitrix, but mum may not have known you had your phone on/with you. I leave my phone on silent overnight and often get texts that have been sent at odd times! It means I can deal with them when I wake up.
I too send texts late/early but don't expect replies.

[Fitrix]

How annoying fitrix, but mum may not have known you had your phone on/with you. I leave my phone on silent overnight and often get texts that have been sent at odd times! It means I can deal with them when I wake up.
I too send texts late/early but don't expect replies.

Absolutely - it was ***'s law I had the ringer on but I do if my kids are away just incase. I know she wouldn't have known.

Call me niaive/twee whatever, I do think its pants that we feel the need to write details into our contracts to counter parents actions that should be borne out of what should be basic human decency.

[bunyip]

I agree it's frustrating. But a large part of working in any service sector industry involves stating the obvious to the clueless. Sounds like this client is clueless, so tell her the obvious.

The alternative is..............well.......... the alternative is what you just experienced.

[hectors house]

I have my phone on at night time - if one of my married daughter's were taken ill and in hospital I know my son in laws wouldn't have a clue what the land line number is!

[Fitrix]

I agree it's frustrating. But a large part of working in any service sector industry involves stating the obvious to the clueless. Sounds like this client is clueless, so tell her the obvious.

The alternative is..............well.......... the alternative is what you just experienced.

The problem with that though is that I find despite having some "rules of expected behaviour" written into my contract (such as 'if your contracted start time is 07.30 please do not rock up at 07.20 and expect a warm welcome', and 'if I am open for business but you decide to jet off to the Seychelles you will still have to pay me! ' - worded slightly differently - I find that several months into our working relationship parents seem to shelve what they signed and make up their own rules.
So I could keep reminding them - say in the form of a newsletter - but that would invariably become wallpaper to them and be ignored. Or I could address issues as and when they come up but that seems to provoke their anger - as diplomatic as I try to be.
So I'm left with tell them and be ignored. Or don't tell them - niaively expect a modicum of decency and common sense - and be ignored.

So for all you wise and wonderful childminders with realms of "rules of behaviour of parents" written into your contracts what do you do when the rules get broken??

[Ripeberry]

How annoying fitrix, but mum may not have known you had your phone on/with you. I leave my phone on silent overnight and often get texts that have been sent at odd times! It means I can deal with them when I wake up.
I too send texts late/early but don't expect replies.

I never have my mobile by my bed. If it's important, then they can use the land line.

[Mouse]

My children are all older, so I can have a lie in most weekends if I want. It do get peeved when I get a parent texting for something trivial at 8am on a Sunday morning, but knowing the child, I figure they have probably been up for hours and have totally forgotten that some people are able to stay in bed at the weekend. A reply at 2.30 in the morning is usually enough to get my own back

I have my contact info written in the front of the children's daily diaries along with a note telling parents when they can contact me (between 7am-7pm, Monday - Friday and between 10am-4pm at the weekend). For any other times I ask them to email me and tell them I will get back to them asap.

[lollipop kid]

I leave my mobile downstairs on my desk at the weekend. (This is so parents can get used to me not being instantly available. I haven't given them the landline - it's too loud!)



L

[watford wizz]

Don't understand why you don't have work phones separate from your personal ones if this is a problem and as said before give specific hours for contact availability x

[natlou82]

Tbh it doesn't bother me particularly. I have a "moon setting" on my phone so it doesn't ping loudly between 10:30-6am except for people on my favourites list (family) so that helps. I'm always awake by 7am even at a weekend (my body clock) and I am one of those people who has to think of others when I txt cause I do forget that the world doesn't wake when I do.

[shortstuff]

with most smart phones now you can have priority numbers which can call you all the time but all other numbers can be received only at certain hours. This might be a good idea for you. That way you can choose what time you receive contact from your parents

[bunyip]

The problem with that though is that I find despite having some "rules of expected behaviour" written into my contract (such as 'if your contracted start time is 07.30 please do not rock up at 07.20 and expect a warm welcome', and 'if I am open for business but you decide to jet off to the Seychelles you will still have to pay me! ' - worded slightly differently - I find that several months into our working relationship parents seem to shelve what they signed and make up their own rules.
So I could keep reminding them - say in the form of a newsletter - but that would invariably become wallpaper to them and be ignored. Or I could address issues as and when they come up but that seems to provoke their anger - as diplomatic as I try to be.
So I'm left with tell them and be ignored. Or don't tell them - niaively expect a modicum of decency and common sense - and be ignored.

So for all you wise and wonderful childminders with realms of "rules of behaviour of parents" written into your contracts what do you do when the rules get broken??

Ah......I see now. In hindsight, I think my earlier posts were made without the benefit of a clear picture of just how naughty your mums have become.

I think your clients are behaving in such a way that you maybe need not "word it so differently" after all.

I'd be tempted to start with a big sign in the entrance hall saying "The childminder respectfully requests all parents comply with her policies and procedures, as a punch in the stomach sometimes offends."

[Fitrix]

with most smart phones now you can have priority numbers which can call you all the time but all other numbers can be received only at certain hours. This might be a good idea for you. That way you can choose what time you receive contact from your parents

Brilliant suggestion. I will set those numbers up. Only prob is that two kids were away camping with school/other groups and not allowed mobiles so I had no idea who might be calling me if they were in trouble of some sort.

There are always contingency plans one can make and 'suggestions' we can forewarn parents of but I do think the world has become a very disrespectful place.

When I was a kid if the phone rang after 9pm we all stared at each other in abject horror at the audacity of anyone calling so late! With the advent of mobiles and email it seems everyone is expected to be contactable at all times. I get there are things I can put in place to avoid being disturbed, my irk is merely the thoughtlessness of people these days.

Think I'm getting old and cranky!!!

[Fitrix]

Don't understand why you don't have work phones separate from your personal ones if this is a problem x

Excellent idea. And I could hire a butler to answer them both!!